D Gray-show
by NoName-chan
Summary: NoName-chan: Game Shows? Talk shows? The Wheel of "Torture?" Try combining all of those into one show! Then add the popular cast of DGM, and see where it takes you! I'm your host, NoName-chan, and this is D Gray-show! Allen: This summary is too long... NoName-chan: *Hits Allen over the head with a shovel* SHUT UP! (SemiCrack, if not total Crack; Random pairings scattered about)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**

**NoName-chan: Do I look like Katsura Hoshino to you? Do I?**

**Allen: HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO KNOW? THEY'VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE, YOU DIPSHIT!**

**NoName-chan: *Hits Allen over the head with a shovel* SHUT UP! Anyways, NO. NO I DO NOT. SHE OWNS DGM, NOT ME. K? K.**

_….._

*Horrible Game Show music plays. A spotlight moves back and forth along a dark stage until it finally rests on the smiling figure of me sitting comfortably on a red couch. Suddenly, all of the lights turn on, revealing a larger blue couch, where several people are sitting*

NoName-chan: Hello, one and all! Welcome to our first Episode-Chapter-Thingy of D Gray-Show~! I'm your fabulous hostess, NoName-chan, and these are our contestants-

Allen: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA, wait, WHAT? "Contestants?" You told me that we were going to an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet!

NoName-chan: And I lied.

Allen: *Sighs* Then, what IS this?

NoName-chan: This is D Gray-Show. It's a combination of many things. You see, over the course of the two months that I've been reading fanfiction, I've seen multiple fanfictions that were basically like Game or Talk Shows. I read one that was like a "Wheel of Torture" kind of thing. I read another that was basically a long Interview of the DGM cast. But, then I read one special fanfic: "DGray chat" by jax2468 (btw, if you haven't read that yet, GO READ IT RIGHT NOW OMG IT'S AMAZING.) And that fanfic inspired me to create this Show-Fanfiction-Thingy. Well, that and the fact that everybody seems to love my Cracky Author Notes on my other story, "The Golden Rose"…

Allen: Um…. Okay, but you still haven't explained WHAT this is.

NoName-chan: I'M GETTING TO THAT, SHEESH. Anyways, this is a combination of those many fics I've read. Basically, the rules are like this: Each contestant gets a turn per episode. They'll have to do 5 things: 1. Answer a question from either a viewer, the lovely Hostess, or a person of the Hostess' choice. 2. Perform a dare by one of the same people choices. 3. Spin the Wheel of Torture. 4. Do something of the Hostess' choice. 5. Random~

Allen: Okay, first of all, it sounds like you're trying way too hard to please people.

NoName-chan: That's because I am.

Allen: Second of all, this whole thing sounds like a horrible rip off of other people's ideas.

NoName-chan: That's because it is.

Allen: Third of all, what do you mean by "Random~"?

NoName-chan: I mean that the last thing could truly be anything. It could mean that they have to perform one of the first four tasks again, it could mean that the Hostess is going to do something horrible like the evil person she is, it could mean something truly random is going to happen. I have no way of knowing~!

Allen: YES YOU DO! YOU'RE THE HOSTESS! By the way, why do you keep referring to yourself in 3rd person?

NoName-chan: Because…. Um… *Hits Allen over the head with a shovel* SHUT UP!

Allen: OW! WHAT THE HELL?!

NoName-chan: Oh, and if anyone refuses to complete their tasks or pisses me off, I'll beat them with my trusty shovel that I've overused in nearly every Author Note for nearly every Fanfiction I've ever written.

Allen: *Shivers*

NoName-chan: So, ANYWAYS~! ON WITH THE SHOW! Let's meet our fabulous Contestants: Allen Walker~!

Allen: *Cries*

NoName-chan: Yuu Kanda~!

Kanda: DON'T CALL ME BY MY FIRST NAME! *Unsheathes Mugen*

NoName-chan: *Hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* SHUT IT! As I was saying, Lavi~!

Lavi: Hey there~!

NoName-chan: Lenalee Lee~!

Lenalee: *Gets out video camera* This is gonna be good.

NoName-chan: Tyki Mikk~!

Tyki: *Moans of pain*

Lavi: …..What happened to him?

NoName-chan: *Holds up a package of chocolate chip cookies* He asked me if he could have one of my cookies.

Lavi: And?

NoName-chan: *HIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* NOBODY TOUCHES MY COOKIES.

Lavi: O.O

Allen: D-Did she just hiss?...

Lavi: I think so.

Allen: I'm scared.

Lavi: I am, too.

NoName-chan: *Smiles brightly again* Anyways, as I was saying, ROAD KAMELOT~! :D :D :D

*Loud applause. Lights shut off. Spotlight shines on Road*

Road: *Grinning and waving* Hey there, everyone~!

*Lights return to normal*

Allen: Wait, why the hell was her introduction so much longer and more exaggerated than ours?!

NoName-chan: *Hits Allen over the head with the shovel* BECAUSE SHE'S AWESOME AND BECAUSE I'M THE HOSTESS AND I DO WHAT I WANT, NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Allen: ASKJFNERIHUFQH4BWIU5GOEIRU5GY!?WP1O3RKIGJ24CX,45 THAT FUCKING HURT!

NoName-chan: GOOD. Now, since this is the first Episode-Chapter-Thingy, I need some help thinking up questions and dares. So, to help me Host, I introduce to you MY BEST FRIEND, BEN-KUN~!

Ben-kun: *Walks onto the stage and sits next to me* Hi, NoName-chan~! ^^

NoName-chan: *Glomps Ben* Hi, Ben-kun~! ^^

Allen: Whoa whoa whoa, wait! WHO THE HELL IS BEN-KUN?

NoName-chan: Ben-kun is my best friend who's going to help me Host today's Episode-Chapter-Thingy.

Allen: YES, I KNOW, YOU ALREADY SAID THAT!

NoName-chan: Then why did you ask?

Allen: *Slams head down on the table between the two couches* I give up…

NoName-chan: Good. Now, how should we do this? Should we do each person one by one, or should we do all the questions first, then the dares, and so on?

Ben-kun: Hm….. Let's do it the second way. *Puts on sunglasses* B|

NoName-chan: *Puts on identical sunglasses* B|

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: *High five* AAAAAWWWWW YYYYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHH!

Kanda: What the hell?

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!

Kanda: *Slams his face down on the table next to Allen's* I give up…

NoName-chan: Anyways, let's start with questions! *Digs hand into a large basket of pieces of paper with various questions written on them* OW! PAPERCUT! OW! PAPERCUT! OW! PAPERCUT! Ah, here we go! *Pulls out a slip of paper*This question is for Allen! It reads:

_"Hey, Allen._

_I dare you to enter any eating challenge._

_~Ben-kun"_

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *Stare at Ben*

Ben-kun: *Sips coffee that I've only now told you is there*

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: IT'S FROM YOU?

Kanda: Che.

NoName-chan: I DID say that he was partially here to help me think up questions and dares.

Road: Yeah, she kinda did.

NoName-chan: But, one thing: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* WHY THE HELL DID YOU PUT A DARE IN THE QUESTIONS BASKET?!

Ben-kun: *Holds head in pain* Why, NoName-chan, why?! DX

NoName-chan: *Facepalms* Anyways, I guess since Ben-kun doesn't understand the difference between a dare and a question, we'll do dares first. Well, Allen?

Allen: *Grins* An eating challenge? I'll do it!

NoName-chan: *Evil grin*

Lenalee: *Gulps* That can't be good…..

NoName-chan: You're eating challenge is that you have to go a whole week without eating.

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *Gape in shock*

Allen: W-WHAT?!

NoName-chan: Hey, the "question" *glares at Ben* said ANY eating challenge. It didn't state that it necessarily had to be an eating CONTEST.

Road: *Laughs ass off*

Ben-kun: O.O Talk about reading the fine print…

NoName-chan: *Grins* Yup. Anyways, Allen- no food for a week.

Allen: THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M DOING THAT DARE!

NoName-chan: *Hits Allen over the head with the shovel* DO IT OR FEEL MY WRATH!

Allen: *Whimpers in fear and pain* Y-yes, ma'am.

NoName-chan: *Bright smile* Good ^^ Alright, next dare. *Sips hand into another basket, this one full of dares written on slips of paper* OWOWOWOWOW FUCKING PAPERCUTS! Alright, I got it! *Pulls out a red slip of paper*

Lenalee: Oh, so you got red paper for all of the dares? ^^

NoName-chan: Nope…..

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee: ….

Lenalee: Then why is it red?...

NoName-chan: I have no idea.

Road: Chill, I've got this. *Takes slip of paper from Road and licks it.* Hm… Yup. It's blood. Geez, NoName-chan, how many papercuts did you get?

NoName-chan: A lot.

Lenalee: O-okay then…

Lavi: Are we just going to completely ignore the fact that Road just licked blood off of a slip of paper and was easily able to identify it as blood?

NoName-chan: Moving on!

Lavi: *Sighs* I guess so…

Tyki: Does this REALLY surprise you?

Lavi: Nah, I guess not.

NoName-chan: Okay! This one's for Kanda! It reads:

_"Hey, Kanda!_

_I dare Yuu (get it? Yuu? Instead of you? XD) to play with Road._

_~Ben-kun"_

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *Stare at Ben*

Ben-kun: What?

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: AGAIN?!

NoName-chan: Well, I needed help with both Questions and Dares, so I asked Ben-kun to submit at least one question and one dare. That first dare was SUPPOSED to be a question, but since Ben-kun completely fucked that one up, *glares at Ben* we're just going to have to deal with the fact that he's submitted two dares. Oh, and also: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel*

Ben-kun: OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! DX

NoName-chan: THAT PUN WAS TERRIBLE AND OVERUSED!

Kanda: Wait, pun?

NoName-chan: *Rolls eyes* Come on, BaKanda! I already read the letter out loud! He used your first name instead of "you" as a pun.

Kanda: WHAT?! *Pulls out Mugen and points it at Ben* YOU DIE TODAY!

Ben-kun: *YELP*

NoName-chan: *Hits both of them over the heads with the shovel* SHUT UP! Anyways, Kanda, you heard the dare. Road?

Road: *Grins* YAY~! I GET TO PLAY WITH PRETTY-BOY~!

Kanda: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME-

NoName-chan: *Holds up the shovel threateningly*

Kanda: *Mouth snaps shut*

Road: Come on, let's go~! *Drags Kanda off the stage and out of the room by the wrist*

NoName-chan: Have fun~! ^^ Alright, next dare! *Dips hand into the basket of dares* ASDFGHJKLFFFFFFSKDNVSIBJNTRE PAPERCUTS! Okay, here we go! *Pulls out a slip of paper* It's for Lavi~! It reads:

_"Dear Lavi,_

_I dare you to ask out Lenalee._

_~WinterPrentice"_

Lavi: *Gapes*

Lenalee: *Blushes red*

Allen: OKAY, HOLD ON! Who the fuck is WinterPrentice?!

NoName-chan: WinterPrentice is one of our fabulous viewers~

Allen: BUT THIS IS THE FIRST EPISODE-CHAPTER-THINGY. HOW DO WE HAVE VIEWERS?

NoName-chan: Because….. well…..

Tyki: Because this dumbass got on her hands and knees and begged people for help.

NoName-chan: Yeah….. Wait, DUMBASS? *Hits Tyki over the head with the shovel*

Tyki: ASDFGHJKLSKDJNWEORUIH45G874WNCCOBDJNEKAJN?/!

NoName-chan: Moving on. Well, Lavi?

Lavi: *Whimpers* But….. but…

NoName-chan: NO "BUT"S. DO IT.

Lavi: *Sighs and looks at Lenalee* L-Lenalee, would you like to go out with-?

Komui: *Breaks in* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! STAY AWAY FROM MY PRECIOUS LENALEE, YOU FILTHY OCTOPUS! *Pulls out a large gun*

Lavi: *SHRIEK. Tries to run*

Komui: *Chases after him*

NoName-chan: *Casually sips coffee* So, Ben-kun, how was your weekend?

Ben-kun: *Casually sips coffee as well* Pretty good, yours?

NoName-chan: Eh, it's been average. Hey, I'm kinda hungry right now. Should I order a pizza?

Ben-kun: Sure. ^^

NoName-chan: Okay. *Get's out cellphone* What kind of pizza do you guys want?

Ben-kun: Pepperoni.

Tyki: Cheese.

Lenalee: Hawaiian.

Allen: ALL OF THEM~

NoName-chan: *Hits Allen over the head with the shovel* YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT.

Allen: *Cries*

NoName-chan: Okay, is that all? Should I get some bread sticks? Yeah, I'm gonna get some bread sticks. Okay, hold on a second! *Dials number*

_*Ringing*_

_"Hello?"_

NoName-chan: Yeah, hi. Can I get 2 large pepperoni pizzas, 1 medium cheese pizza, and 1 small Hawaiian pizza?

_"This isn't-"_

Ben-kun: Don't forget the bread sticks!

NoName-chan: Oh, yeah! And some breadsticks?

_"I think you have the wrong numbe-"_

Tyki: Hey, actually, can I get a large Coke with that?

NoName-chan: *Sigh* Guys, seriously, make up your minds! How about we all just get drinks so that you guys don't bitch at me about it later?

Ben-kun: Sounds fair. I want a large Mountain Dew.

Lenalee: Can I just get a medium lemonade?

_"This isn't a pizza pla-"_

Allen: Am I allowed to drink stuff?

NoName-chan: *Weighs the option in my mind* Yeah, I guess so.

Allen: OH, SWEET! Then can I get 20 large Powerades?

NoName-chan: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, KID, WE HAVE A BUDGET! *Sighs* I guess…..

Allen: YES!

NoName-chan: Alright, can I also get a medium Coke-

Tyki: Large.

NoName-chan: Sorry, a LARGE Coke, 2 large Mountain Dews, a medium Lemonade, and 20 large Powerades?

_"I don't think you understand. We don't serve p-"_

NoName-chan: Sorry, Allen! They don't have Powerade!

Allen: Damn it! *Sighs* I guess make that 20 large Pepsis instead.

NoName-chan: Okay, can I cancel the order for 20 large Powerades and make it for 20 large Pepsis instead?

_"But-"_

Tyki: What the hell is wrong with you, boy? Coke is WAY better then Pepsi!

Allen: WHAT?! The Hell it is!

Tyki: COKE!

Allen: PEPSI!

Tyki: COKE!

Allen: PEPSI!

NoName-chan: *Hits them both over the heads with the shovel* SHUT THE FUCK UP, I AM ON THE PHONE! Okay, I think that's all.

Lenalee: WAIT! Can we get dessert?

NoName-chan: *Angry sigh* I TOLD YOU GUYS TO MAKE UP YOUR MINDS! But, I guess so….

Lenalee: YAY! Can I get chocolate cake?

Ben-kun: Can I get Sour Patch Kids?

Tyki: Can I get tiramisu?

NoName-chan: GUYS, NO, IT'S A FUCKING PIZZA PLACE-

_"WE'RE NOT A PIZZA PLA-"_

NoName-chan: -THEY ONLY HAVE ONE THING FOR DESSERT! Yeah, can I also get 4 Chocolate Lava Cakes? Thanks. That'll be all.

_"FOR THE LAST TIME, THIS ISN'T A PIZZA PLACE!"_

NoName-chan: ….Wait, then who is this?

_"The Black Ark. Wait, is that… NoName-chan?"_

NoName-chan: …...….YOU SAW NOTHING! *Hangs up* Nevermind, guys, no pizza….

Ben-kun: WHAT?! WHY?! DX

NoName-chan: Because… um….

Tyki: You had the wrong number, didn't you?

NoName-chan: Yeah…

Allen: Wait, then who DID you call?

NoName-chan: The Black Ark….

Ben-kun, Allen, Tyki, Lenalee: …..

Allen: HOW DID YOU MESS THAT ONE UP?!

Tyki: I didn't even know that the Ark had a phone!

NoName-chan: *Hits Allen and Tyki over the heads with the shovel* SHUT UP!

Lenalee: Wait, aren't we forgetting something?

NoName-chan: NOPE.

Komui: *Drags a tied up Lavi out of the room*

Lavi: *Screaming bloody murder*

Lenalee: Um….. Should we do something?

NoName-chan: MOVING ON!

Lenalee: *Sigh* That's what I thought…

NoName-chan: Anyways, next dare! *Dips hand into the Dares basket* ASDFGHJKL PAPERCUTS AAAHHAGGAGAHAGHAHGAH! Okay, got it! *Pulls out a slip of paper*Alright, this one's for Tyki. It reads:

"_Hey Tyki,_

_I dare you to become an Akuma._

_~Ben-kun"_

Allen, Tyki, Lenalee: *Stare at Ben*

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* THAT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE!

Tyki: It isn't?

NoName-chan: Well, maybe it is, but we can't have Tyki as an Akuma, so let's try a different dare! *Dips hand into basket of dares AGAIN* OMGWHATTHEFUCKERMEHGERDPAPERCUTSOW! Okay! *Pulls out slip of paper* As you know, this one's also for Tyki. It reads:

_"Hey, Tyki._

_I dare you to spend some time with Bookman._

_~Ben-kun"_

Tyki: *Stares at Ben* DUDE.

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* HOW MANY DARES DID YOU SUBMIT?!

Ben-kun: OW! DX

NoName-chan: *Angry sigh* Okay, well, you heard him, Tyki. Go find Bookman and spend some time with him.

Tyki: Okay. *Leaves room*

NoName-chan: *Looks around* Wow, where IS everybody?

Ben-kun: Well, Kanda's still off somewhere doing his dare, Road's with him, Lavi's still facing the wrath of Komui-

*Loud screams come from the next room over*

Ben-kun: -and Tyki just left to do his dare.

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION, YOU DIPSHIT!

Ben-kun: OWWWW! DX

Road: *Bursts into the room* WE'RE BACK~!

NoName-chan: YAY~! *Glomps Road* THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK ROAD THESE PEOPLE ARE TOTAL DIPSHITS OH ROAD PLEASE SAVE ME!

Ben-kun, Allen, Lenalee: HEY!

Road: Ah…. Okay. Well, I finished playing with Pretty-boy~! Take a look!

Kanda: *Walks into the room. Is dressed in a frilly pink Lolita dress, black Mary Janes, and white gloves with his hair done in two curly pigtails. Is pale as a ghost*

Allen: *Laughs ass off*

Lenalee: OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! O.O

Kanda: No words….. could truly express….. the horrors….. I just witnessed…

Road: Oh, come on, we just played Dolls. I was the person, and he was the Doll.

Lenalee: *Shudders* I have bad memories about this kind of thing….

NoName-chan: Ok, next dare! *Dips hand into the Dares basket* OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWPAPERCUTPAPERCUTPAPERCUT! Okay, I got it! *Pulls out a slip of paper* This one's for Road~ It reads:

_"Road,_

_I dare you to say "I love you" to Allen._

_~Ben-kun"_

Allen, Lenalee, Kanda: ….

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* BEN-KUN!

Ben-kun: OOOOOWWWW WHAAAAAT? DX

NoName-chan: First of all, HOW MANY FUCKING DARES DID YOU SUBMIT?! Second of all, THAT'S HARDLY EVEN A DARE FOR ROAD!

Road: *Smirks* Whatever, I'll do it. Allen, I LOVE YOU~! *Kisses Allen*

Allen: MMMMPH!

Road: *Pulls back*

Allen: THAT WASN'T PART OF THE DARE!

Road: Oh, I know. *Grins*

NoName-chan: O-kay then…..

Tyki: *Bursts into the room, screaming* AAAAHHHHH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! HE'S SO BORING, I JUST… I CAN'T…..

Allen: O.O Oh my god…..

Road: What was his dare? O.o

NoName-chan: To spend time with Bookman.

Road: Well, how long has it been?

NoName-chan: *Looks at watch* 2 minutes.

Lenalee: Wow.

NoName-chan: Anyways, take a seat, we still have one more dare!

Allen, Lenalee, Kanda, Road, Tyki: *Sit on the blue couch*

Ben-kun: *Sits on the red couch*

NoName-chan: *Was too lazy to ever even get up in the first place* Alright, here we go! *Dips hand into the basket of dares* CIOWNEOCMHTSO4MRUJ4RG9C0C48U38U5CHM3XM43?/1 PAPERCUTS ERMEHGERD! 'Kay, got it! *Pulls out slip of paper* This one, as you've probably all guessed, is for Lenalee~ It reads:

_"Dear Lenalee,_

_I dare you to go on a date with Road._

_~Ben-kun"_

Lenalee and Road: *Gape in shock*

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben-kun over the head with the shovel* DID YOU SUBMIT EVERY DARE EXCEPT ONE TODAY?!

Ben-kun: OOOOWWWW! YES, BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO! DX

NoName-chan: AND WHAT ABOUT THIS DARE?! THIS IS DGM, AND YOU BROUGHT YURI INTO IT?!

Ben-kun: HEY, I AM A RARE DGM FANBOY, LET ME DREAM! DX

NoName-chan: *Angry sigh* Whatever. Well, Lenalee, Road, you guys have a date tonight!

Komui: *Bursts into the room* WHO'S DATING MY LENALEE?!

Road: Yo~

Komui: *Gapes in shock* M-MY BABY SISTER I-IS-?!

NoName-chan: *Magically appears behind Komui and knocks him out with the shovel* NO, SHE'S NOT! IT'S A DARE!

Lenalee: o.o W-was knocking him out really necessary?...

NoName-chan: *Ties up Komui* Yes, because we need Lavi back in order to move onto the questions round. I'll be right back~ *Leaves the room*

Kanda: Wait….. she's gone? MUAHAHAHAHA! *Pulls out Mugen*

NoName-chan: *Magically appears behind Kanda with unconscious Lavi over my shoulder* LIKE HELL I AM! *Hits Kanda over the head with the shovel*

Kanda: ASDFGHJKLASKJFHR4IDXM303RJX2FI3OX4RJX,?/! *Puts Mugen away*

NoName-chan: Now~! *Puts Lavi's unconscious body on the blue couch* Where were we?

Ben-kun: The questions round?

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben-kun over the head with the shovel* IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!

Allen: …Aren't they supposed to be friends…?

NoName-chan: *Hits Allen over the head with the shovel* SHUT UP! Now, onto the questions~ Let's start with Allen. *Slip of paper from the questions basket magically appears in my hand*

Tyki: WHOA WHOA WHOA, WAIT, IF YOU COULD DO THAT, THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU DO IT EARLIER?!

NoName-chan: Because…. *Hits Tyki over the head with the shovel* SHUT UP! Anyways, the question reads:

_"Hey, Allen! ^^_

_Do you think you can win me some money? I need to go shopping._

_~WinterPrentice"_

Allen: Well, the answer to that, WinterPrentice, is yes. Yes I can.

NoName-chan: Okay, now go~

Allen: Wait, WHAT?! I thought this was the Questions round, not the Dares round!

NoName-chan: It is. But WinterPrentice was kind enough to help me by submitting a question in the first place. NOW GO!

Allen: *Grumbles* Fine… *Walks out of the room*

NoName-chan: Alright, next one's for Kanda~! *Slip of paper magically appears in my hand* It reads:

_"Hey, Blue-Haired Guy._

_Why do you always do the thing?_

_~Jen-chan"_

Tyki: Wait, what?

NoName-chan: I don't even know….

Kanda: Wait, who the hell is Jen-chan?

NoName-chan: Jen-chan's another one of my besties. I asked her to think up at least one question to help me. Though, she doesn't actually watch or read DGM, so I think that may have been a mistake….

Tyki: You THINK?!

NoName-chan: Moving on. So, Kanda, why DO YOU always do the thing?

Kanda: I always do the thing because the thing is what I want to do.

Lenalee: Huh? O.O

NoName-chan: Moving on~ Okay, next one's for Lavi!

Lavi: *Still unconscious*

NoName-chan: ….Okay, we'll come back to that one. Next one's for Tyki~!

Tyki: Fuck you.

NoName-chan: Gladly~ Anyways, *Slip of paper appears in my hand* It reads:

_"Oi, Tyki,_

_Why do you always come across as a rapist and/or pedophile in my mind whenever I try to ship you with someone?_

_~NoName-chan"_

Tyki, Ben-kun, Kanda, Lenalee, Road: *Stare at me*

NoName-chan: …

Tyki, Ben-kun, Kanda, Lenalee, Road: IT'S FROM YOU?!

NoName-chan: …Well, I have questions, too…..

Tyki: *Sigh* Well, to answer your question, I have absolutely no clue why you see me as a rapist and/or pedophile.

Road: *Cough*Maybeit'sbecauseheisone *Cough*

Tyki: I HEARD THAT.

Road: Do I look like I care?

NoName-chan: Moving on! The next one's for Road~ It reads:

_"ROAD-CHAAAAAN~!_

_Wanna go out and kill innocent people with me later?_

_~NoName-chan"_

Kanda: I knew who wrote that one from the second she started reading…

NoName-chan: ANYWAYS, Road?

Road: Sure~! We can go after my date with Lenalee.

Komui: *Suddenly shoots awake and starts thrashing in his ropes.*

NoName-chan: It's a good thing I gagged him…

Lenalee: ….

NoName-chan: Anyways, next question~! This one, of course, is for Lenalee! It reads:

_"Lenalee,_

_What kind of dye do you use on your hair? I mean Kanda is fine the way he is, and Lavi? Self-explanatory. But Green? And with so much sheen? You have a secret._

_~WinterPrentice"_

Lenalee: Well, to answer your question, WinterPrentice, I don't use any dye on my hair.

Road: Really? Then what's your secret?

Lenalee: My brother is a crazy scientist who creates giant robots and crazy chemicals for a living. Enough said.

Road: Oh… Yeah, that makes sense.

Komui: *Still squirming in his ropes on the floor*

NoName-chan: Anyways, we need to wake Lavi up~!

Ben-kun: Well, how do you propose we do that?

Lenalee: Maybe we can get an alarm clock, or we can try talking to him, or-

NoName-chan: LOOK OUT BELOW! *Throws an armful of water balloons at Lavi*

Lavi: *Shoots awake* AH! WHAT THE HELL?!

NoName-chan: We need you to answer your question.

Lavi: Um, okay…

NoName-chan: *Slip of paper magically appears in my hand* Alright, it reads:

_"Hey Lavi,_

_Once in your life….. have you ever said, "IT'S HAMMER TIME!" to your enemies? X3_

_~Ben-kun"_

Tyki: Wha? That's stupid. Of course he's never-

Lavi: Actually, yes, I have. The akuma was SO confused, it was hilarious! XD

Lenalee: Oh yeah, I remember that! I was laughing for hours!

Lavi: *Smirks* Yup. 'Twas a fun day~!

Ben-kun: I FUCKING KNEW IT~! XD

NoName-chan and Road: *Laughing asses off*

Allen: *Walks back into the room, hauling a huge bag of money* Okay, I'm back!

NoName-chan: Good! *Takes bag of money from Allen and throws it to an audience member* Here you go, WinterPrentice~!

WinterPrentice: *Was that audience member. Now holding money bag* WOO HOO~! TIME TO GO SHOPPING~! *Leaves the room*

NoName-chan: Alright, now for The Wheel of Torture~! Allen, since you missed most of the Questions Round, you're going first~! SPIN THE WHEEL! *Points to a colorful Wheel of Fortune-style wheel that's suddenly on the table between the two couches. Each section of the wheel has a folded up piece of paper tied to it*

Allen: *Sighs* Let's just get this over with….. *Spins the wheel*

Wheel: *Spins for about 10 seconds until it lands on one of the sections*

NoName-chan: *Picks up the folded piece of paper for that section and unfolds it* Alright, your torture is:

_"Spend time with General Cross."_

Allen: *Gapes*

Road: *Laughs ass off* Wow, that one was just too perfect! Who wrote that?

NoName-chan: *Smirks* I did.

Allen: *Soul leaves his body*

NoName-chan: Alright, Allen, Go~

Allen: *Doesn't move*

NoName-chan: I said GO! *Picks up Allen and throws him out the window, where he "coincidentally: lands next to General Cross*

Cross: Eh? Oh, it's you Idiot Apprentice. Come, I need some money. *Drags Allen away*

Allen: *Screaming* NOOOOOOOO!

NoName-chan: Alright, who's next~?

*Silence*

NoName-chan: How about Kanda?

Kanda: Che. Fine. *Spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *Picks up the paper from the section the wheel landed on and unfolds it* Alright, Kanda, your torture is:

_"Take Kanda's rose away."_

Road, Tyki, Lavi, Lenalee: …

NoName-chan: ROSE?!

Kanda: WHO THE FUCK WROTE THAT?!

Ben-kun: I did ^^

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* IT'S A FUCKING LOTUS, YOU LITTLE SHIT! And, NO, we're not taking it away! SPIN THE WHEEL AGAIN, KANDA!

Kanda: Che. *Spins the wheel again*

NoName-chan: *Unfolds the paper* Okay, the torture is:

_"Make Kanda hang around with that one finder that pisses him off."_

Kanda: ….Which one?

NoName-chan: I have no clue. I guess that muscular guy from Episode 2(ish)?

Ben-kun: Yeah, that guy~! ^^

NoName-chan: …You wrote this torture, too, didn't you?

Ben-kun: Yup ^u^

NoName-chan: *Sighs* Whatever. *Throws a shouting Kanda and that one Finder into an empty room together along with a camera to record Kanda's suffering and locks the door* Alright, next torture: Tyki?

Tyki: Might as well…. *Spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *Unfolds the paper* Alright, Tyki, your torture is….. *Laughs ass off*

_"Chain up Tyki in a dark basement by himself with a shovel that plays a nonstop recording of the Millennium Earl's chatter."_

Tyki: *Gapes*

Road: *Laughs ass off*

Lavi: Who wrote that? O.o

NoName-chan: WinterPrentice. Anyways, here we go! *Puts Tyki in the position that the Torture specified, along with a camera to record his suffering.* Alright, we'll check back on both Tyki and Kanda in about 10 minutes. NEXT! Lenalee?

Lenalee: *Shrugs and spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *Unfolds paper* Alright, your torture is:

_"Let Komui give you a death hug"_

Lenalee: *Pales* Oh no…..

Lavi: Who wrote THAT?!

NoName-chan: I did. Now, RELEASE THE BEAST~!

Road: *Unties Komui*

Komui: *Glomps Lenalee* OHMYDEARBABYSISTERDON'TDATETHATOCTOPUSLAVIORTHATLI TTLESLUTROADPLEASESTAYWITHME~!

Road and Lavi: HEY!

NoName-chan: Okay, that's enough. *Pries Komui off of Lenalee and reties him*

Lenalee: *Gasps for air*

NoName-chan: This show is taking too long, so NEXT! Road~!

Road: *Smirks* Bring it on. *Spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *Unfolds paper* Alright, your torture is:

_"You can't glomp Allen for the rest of the Episode-Chapter-Thingy."_

Road: WHAT?! NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NoName-chan: I'M SO SORRY, ROAD, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D ACTUALLY GET THAT ONE WHEN I WROTE IT~! DX

Lavi: You wrote that? O.o

NoName-chan: Yes.

_*Elsewhere*_

Allen: Huh….. For some reason, I have the sudden urge to hug NoName-chan….

Cross: GET BACK TO WORK, IDIOT APPRENTICE!

Allen: *YELP*

_*Back at the show*_

NoName-chan: Anyways, now for Lavi~!

Lavi: *Sighs and spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *Unfolds paper* Okay, Lavi, your torture is….. *Eyes widen*

Lavi: What?

NoName-chan:

_"Let me slowly cut Lavi while he begs for mercy :3"_

Lavi: *Pales* Who wrote THAT?! O.O

Ben-kun: *Grins* I did. Now, come on~ *Drags Lavi away*

Lavi: *Screams*

Lenalee: S-Somebody's going to stop him, right?

NoName-chan and Road: *Hold up knives and grin* HEY, WAIT FOR US~! *Follow Ben*

Lenalee: Poor Lavi…..

Random Camera Guy: Um….. Should we break for commercial?

Lenalee: YES. YES WE SHOULD.

*~COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN~*

"RABBIT KILLER~!" *Kanda orders*

"KANDA REPELLENT~!" *Allen orders*

"ALLEN/KANDA/LAVI/TYKI BAIT~!" *99.9% of the fangirl population orders*

"SHOVELS~!" *NoName-chan orders*

*~COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END~*

*We return to the stage, where Ben-kun and I are sitting on the red couch, triumphantly grinning. Allen, Kanda, and Tyki are still gone while Road, Lenalee, and Lavi are sitting on the blue couch. Road is grinning, Lenalee is calm, and Lavi is crying and wrapped head-to-toe in bandages with a look of pure horror on his face*

NoName-chan: AND WE'RE BACK~ Now, should we move onto the Hostess' choice round or the Random round?

Lavi: NEITHER!

Road: BOTH!

Lenalee: U-Um... Shouldn't we check on Tyki, Kanda, and Allen?

NoName-chan: Oh yeah~! *Looks at the monitor for the Kanda Torture Room*

*Kanda is meditating on the floor, and the finder is….. well….. "not alive anymore."*

Lenalee and Lavi: *Gape*

Road: *Laughing*

NoName-chan: Huh… Maybe we should have taken Mugen away from Kanda before we started that torture…..

Ben-kun: That would have been smart…..

NoName-chan: *Sighs* Well, now we need someone to go fetch Kanda and clean up the body. Any volunteers?

*Crickets*

NoName-chan: Hm….. *Lightbulb* I've got an idea~! Alright, everyone, this is going to take very careful planning….

_*5 minutes later*_

NoName-chan: Alright, everybody ready? Good. On the count of 3! 1…. 2…. 3…. RELEASE THE BEAST~!

Road: *Unties Komui*

NoName-chan: HEY, KOMUI, LENALEE IS GIVING FREE HUGS TO THE FIRST PERSON WHO FETCHES KANDA AND CLEANS UP THE DEAD BODY IN THE KANDA TORTURE ROOM!

Komui: WHAT?! *Sprints to the Kanda Torture Room* THOSE HUGS WILL BE MINE! *Throws the dead finder out the window and throws Kanda over his shoulder*

Kanda: WHAT THE HEL-

Komui: FOR LENALEE~! *Sprints back to the stage and dumps Kanda on the couch* LENALEE~! *Lunges for Lenalee*

NoName-chan: *Hits Komui over the head with the shovel mid-lunge*

Komui: *Falls to the floor, unconscious*

Lenalee: *Sighs in relief* That was a close one!

NoName-chan: Yeah! But don't worry, he'll be out for a couple hours at least.

Road: *Grins* Hey, I think I saw him move!

Lenalee: What? No he didn-

NoName-chan: WHAT?! HE'S AWAKE?! DIE! *Repeatedly whacks Komui with the shovel*

Lenalee: *Glares at Road* You're evil, you know that?

Road: *Grins* Of course I do. But, hey, you have to admit: watching NoName-chan beat the shit out of Komui with a shovel is pretty hilarious.

Lenalee: *Grins* Yeah, I guess you're right.

NoName-chan: *Finally stops beating Komui with the shovel* Okay, he's out~! ^^ Now, let's check on Tyki. *Looks at the monitor for the Tyki Torture Room*

*Tyki is screaming and crying while pulling harshly on his chains. The shovel is STILL playing the recording of the Earl's chatter*

Road: *Laughs* THIS IS AWESOME.

NoName-chan: I know, right? XD Alas, we need to move on to the next round, so somebody needs to go get him. Any volunteers?

*Crickets*

NoName-chan: *Sighs* Okay, then, let's do Eenie Meenie Minie Moe. *Starts pointing from person to person* Eenie Meenie Minie You. *Points at Ben*

Ben-kun: What? Why me? DX

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO, NOW GO!

Ben-kun: OWWWW FINE DX *Goes to the Tyki Torture Room and unchains Tyki*

Tyki: *Immediately sprints out of the room and to the stage and starts kissing my shoes*

NoName-chan: What….. the fuck…..

Road: Oh, I know what's going on.

NoName-chan: Mind sharing?

Road: Sure. Well, while you guys were plotting to trick Komui into cleaning up corpses, I was watching the Tyki Torture Room monitor, and at one point, I heard him scream, "OH DEAR GOD, MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING! HELL, IF I GET OUT OF HERE, I'LL EVEN KISS NONAME-CHAN'S SHOES!"

NoName-chan: *Laughs* It was that bad, huh?

Tyki: *Nods his head grimly*

Ben-kun: *Walks onto the stage to see Tyki kissing my shoes* What….. the fuck…..

NoName-chan: Yeah, I know. That was my reaction at first, too.

Ben-kun: Mind explaining what's going on here? DX

NoName-chan: Road ignored our Komui corpse-cleaning plots, Tyki got desperate, he promised to kiss my shoes.

Ben-kun: Wha? o.o

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* NO REFUNDS!

Ben-kun: OW! DX

Kanda: THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENS-

NoName-chan: *Hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* SHUT UP! Anyways, I'll tell Cross to bring Allen back. *Takes out cellphone and dials number*

_*Ringing*_

_"What the hell do you want?"_

NoName-chan: Hey, Cross! Allen's torture is over, so you can bring him back now.

_"Torture? What are you talking about?"_

NoName-chan: You know? Allen's torture? For D Gray-Show? The reason that you've been tormenting Allen for the past 20 minutes?

_"That was for a show?"_

NoName-chan: ….Just bring him back.

_"But-"_

NoName-chan: BYE~! *Hangs up phone*

Lenalee: So, when's he gonna be back?

NoName-chan: I'd expect in 3…. 2…. 1….

Allen: *Comes flying in through to window, crashing into the wall on the other side of the room*

NoName-chan: *Yelling out the window* THANKS, CROSS!

Cross: *Yelling from the ground several floors below* YOU OWE ME A BOTTLE OF WINE!

NoName-chan: UH, YEAH, SURE, WHATEVER, BYE~!

Cross: *Walks away grumbling*

Road: ALLEN~! *Tries to flying glomp him*

NoName-chan: *Catches Road mid-fly* Sorry, Road, you can't glomp Allen for the rest of the Episode-Chapter-Thingy, remember?

Road: *Pouts* Oh yeah…...

Allen: *Moans of pain* Wait, what?

NoName-chan: Road's torture was that she isn't allowed to glomp you for the rest of the Episode-Chapter-Thingy.

Allen: WHO WROTE THAT?

NoName-chan: I did.

Allen: *Starts kissing the shoe that Tyki isn't kissing* OH, THANK YOU, GREAT AND POWERFUL ONE~!

NoName-chan: *Kicks Allen in the face* OH MY GOD EW GROSS ALLEN SPIT!

Lavi: Wait, how come you don't have a problem with Tyki kissing your shoes?

NoName-chan: Because Tyki spit is way better than Allen spit! Allen spit is gross, but Tyki spit is awesome!

Lavi: …..I'm just going to pretend that I never heard that…..

NoName-chan: You do that. Anyways, Tyki, you can stop kissing my shoes now.

Tyki: *Stops* OH THANK GOD.

NoName-chan: Alright, after very little thought and consideration, I've decided to go ahead and do the random round~! So, take your seats, everyone, and I'll bring out the box of RANDOMNESS~!

Allen and Tyki: *Sit down on the blue couch*

NoName-chan: *A colorful box filled with popsicle sticks magically appears in my hands* Alright, let's start with Allen~! *Picks up a popsicle stick from the box and reads the writing on it* Alright, Allen, today's randomness for you is… ANOTHER QUESTION~! It reads:

_"Hey, Allen._

_Why do you hate the nickname "beansprout?"_

_~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Kanda: OKAY, HOLD ON! Who's "myangelicladyofdarkness?"

NoName-chan: She's another person that I asked for help with this~

Kanda: More like "begged"…..

NoName-chan: *Hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* SHUT UP! Anyways, Allen?

Allen: Well, I hate being called a beansprout because I'm NOT one! Seriously, I'm not THAT short!

Kanda: Che. Yes you are.

NoName-chan: *Hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* HE'S TALLER THAN ME, SO SHUT IT!

Kanda: That's because you're short, too.

NoName-chan: I AM NOT! I'M ACTUALLY VERY TALL FOR MY AGE!

Lavi: Wha? O.o

Allen: How old ARE you? O.o

NoName-chan: 13.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *Spit out coffee that I'm just now telling you is there* WHAT?!

NoName-chan: Well, YEAH. How old did you think I was?

Lavi: I was guessing around 15 O.O

Lenalee: Same here O.O

NoName-chan: Ha. Dumb bitches.

Tyki: Well, you look like a short(ish) 15-year-old, and you have a very….. "mature" attitude.

NoName-chan: Once again, I'M JUST TALL FOR MY AGE. And the fact that I'm a sadistic perverted bitch doesn't mean that I'm not 13.

Road: Yeah. Though, she even surprises me sometimes. I mean, she's the youngest one here, and yet she still somehow manages to control you all.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: THAT'S BECAUSE OF HER SHOVEL!

Lenalee: Wait a minute, hold up. Let's go ahead and establish you guys' ages now so that we're not confused later. You guys all already know our ages, and we just found out that NoName-chan is 13. So, how old are you, Ben-kun?

Ben-kun: 18.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *Spit out randomly appearing coffee again* WHAT?!

NoName-chan: Duh -.-

Allen: HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S IN HIS TWENTIES!

NoName-chan: CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH THE RANDOM ROUND ALREADY?! Alright, Kanda's next~!

Kanda: Che.

NoName-chan: *Attempts to select popsicle stick, but ends up pulling up two that are stuck together*

Kanda: ….

Lenalee: So how do we handle this?...

NoName-chan: Easy. Kanda will have to do both.

Kanda: WHAT?!

NoName-chan: *Hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* NO OBJECTIONS! Alright, the first one's a question. It reads:

_"Hey, Kanda._

_Why do you keep your hair so long?_

_~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Kanda: Because of Alma….

*Sad silence…..*

NoName-chan: Um, okay~! Moving on~! The other one's a request from one of our lovely viewers~! It reads:

_"Hi, Kanda! ^^_

_Will you come ravish me?_

_~WinterPrentice"_

Kanda: WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?! OF COURSE NO-

NoName-chan: He'll be right over~

Kanda: WHAT?!

NoName-chan: WINTERPRENTICE WAS KIND ENOUGH TO HELP ME IN MY HOUR OF NEED, SO IF SHE WANTS A GOOD KANDA-RAVISHING, SHE'LL GET ONE. NOW, GO!

Kanda: *Storms off of the stage, grabs WinterPrentice (who has now returned from shopping) from the audience, and carries her out of the room, muttering evil things under his breath*

NoName-chan: Have fun~! Okay, while Kanda's ravishing the viewer, let's move on to our next Randomness victim~!

Tyki: …..Am I the only one who's concerned about the fact that Kanda's still wearing the dress that Road put him in earlier?

Allen: At this point, the rest of us have just given up and accepted it, so yes.

NoName-chan: Alright, Lavi's turn~! *Selects a random popsicle stick* This one's a dare~! It reads:

_"Lavi,_

_I dare you to tell Komui that you're dating Lenalee._

_~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Lavi: Didn't I already do something like that today?

NoName-chan: Yes, but I refuse to disappoint a viewer! TIE HIM UP!

Lenalee and Road: *Tie up and gag the unconscious and heavily beaten Komui*

NoName-chan: Alright, Lavi! Your cue!

Lavi: *Sighs* Komui, I'm dating Lenalee.

Komui: *Snaps awake and starts thrashing and screaming in his restraints*

Allen: NoName-chan, I thought you said that he would be out for hours. O.o

NoName-chan: Allen, with the beating I gave him, he should've been out for DAYS. O.O

Allen: O.O

Lavi: *Hiding behind Lenalee* WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE KNOCK HIM OUT AGAIN?!

NoName-chan: My pleasure. *Knocks Komui out with the shovel* Now, Moving on. Tyki's turn~! *Selects a random popsicle stick* Well, Tyki, it looks like you get: ANOTHER TORTURE~!

Tyki: *Pales* o_o

NoName-chan: Alright, it reads:

_"Let me hit Tyki repeatedly with a shovel, then stab him a few times with a rusty knife."_

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *Gape*

Tyki: WHO WROTE THAT?!

NoName-chan: myangelicladyofdarkness. Speaking of which, in order to complete this torture, we need her to come on up here~!

myangelicladyofdarkness: *Walks onto the stage*

NoName-chan: *Grins.* Here, you can even use my trusty shovel. *Hands myangelicladyofdarkness my trusty shovel as well as a rusty knife* Have at it~!

Lenalee: OH MY GOD COMMERCIAL BREAK COMMERCIAL BREAK COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Random Camera Guy: OH MY GOD I GET IT I GET IT I GET IT! Geez, lady…..

*~COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN~*

"POINTY CANDLES~!" *Road orders*

"CIGARETTES~!" *Tyki orders*

"BIG BROTHER REPELLENT~!" *Lenalee orders*

"HAMMERS~!" *Lavi orders*

"MORE SHOVELS~!" *NoName-chan orders*

*~COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END~*

*We return to NoName-chan and Ben-kun talking casually on the red couch. Allen, Lavi, and Lenalee are on the blue couch, staring in horror at Tyki, who is unconscious on the floor, bleeding heavily, while myangelicladyofdarkness walks away, smirking. Road is just laughing her ass off about all of this, and Kanda is still nowhere to be found….*

NoName-chan: *Cleaning Tyki's blood from my shovel* Alright, we're back~! Now, Lenalee, would you mind bandaging up Tyki? I don't want to have to clean his blood off of everything later.

Lenalee: Sure, no problem. *Starts bandaging up Tyki*

NoName-chan: Okay, while she does that, why don't we let Road have her turn for the randomness round? *Picks up a random popsicle stick* Alright, Road, your randomness is….. Viewer Words~!

Road: Huh? What's that?

NoName-chan: Well, two of our fabulous viewers each have something to say to you. It reads:

_"Road:_

_Back off of Allen because he's making me money, and his adorable face is mine! And nobody wants to play with you!_

_~WinterPrentice_

_You are my favorite Noah. You are sadistic and childish._

_~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Road: Alright. WinterPrentice, HE'S MINE, BITCH! You can have the money, though. And I don't really give a shit if people want to play with me; I play with them anyways. *Grins* And, myangelicladyofdarkness, glad to be of service~ *Bows*

NoName-chan: Okay~! Lenalee, you done bandaging up Tyki?

Lenalee: *Lifts a heavily bandaged Tyki onto the couch* Yup!

NoName-chan: Then it's your turn~! *Selects a random popsicle stick* Alright, Lenalee, your Randomness is: another question~! It reads:

_"Hey, Lenalee._

_Are you worried that you will never have a date because of Komui?_

_~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Lenalee: *Looks at Road* Well, I kind of already have one, so no…

Ben-kun: YAY FOR YURI~!

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* SHUT IT!

Kanda and WinterPrentice: *Burst into the room*

WinterPrentice: *Blushing madly and smirking. Walks back to her seat in the audience*

Kanda: *Now wearing man clothes again. Walks onto the stage and sits on the blue couch*

NoName-chan: Good, Kanda's back! Now we can move on to the final round: HOSTESS' CHOICE~!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *Gape in horror*

Lenalee: *Shrugs* Nothing too bad has happened to me yet…

Road: I'm ready for anything~

Tyki: *Still unconscious*

NoName-chan: Okay~! I'll start with Allen: GO GET ME A SANDWICH!

Allen: ….That's it?

NoName-chan: Hey, I'm hungry. Don't judge.

Allen: *Sighs* Whatever…. *Leaves room to go get me a sandwich*

NoName-chan: Alright~! How about Lavi next? Lavi….. hm… How about you do me a fanservice-y favor and go kiss Tyki awake?

Lavi: *Gapes* WHAT?!

NoName-chan: You heard me. Now DO IT OR FACE MY SHOVEL!

Lavi: *YELP. Leans over Tyki's unconscious body and sighs* Here goes nothing… *Kisses Tyki and pulls back quickly*

Tyki: *Eyelids flutter open very princess-like. Sees Lavi and smiles* OH, MY PRINCE~! *Pulls Lavi down into a long deep kiss*

Lavi: MMMMMMMPH?!

NoName-chan: *Grinning with a nosebleed* You're getting all of this, right, Lenalee?

Lenalee: *Has a nosebleed as well. Grins and holds up her video camera* Yup.

Road: Huh….. So Tyki's gay after all…..

Kanda: Apparently…

Allen: *Bursts into the room* Hey, NoName-chan, what kind of- *Sees Lavi and Tyki* WHAT HAPPENED.

Road: NoName-chan's choice for Lavi was for him to kiss Tyki awake, Tyki pulled Lavi in for another kiss afterwords, and middle, middle, middle, now they're making out.

Allen: Huh….. So Tyki's gay after all…..

Road: THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

NoName-chan: *Rolls eyes* Whatever. Now, what do you want? Can't you see that you're interrupting a perfectly good yaoi make out session?

Allen: I came back to ask what kind of sandwich you want, NoName-chan.

NoName-chan: Peanut butter and jelly, whole wheat bread, creamy peanut butter, apricot jelly. Any more questions? No? Good. NOW GO MAKE ME MY SANDWICH.

Allen: *Rolls eyes and leaves*

Tyki: *Finally releases Lavi, grinning*

Lavi: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THA-

NoName-chan: MOVING ON~! How about….. Lenalee~! All I want is for you to send me a copy of the videos you've taken today~ *Nosebleed*

Road: Can I get one, too?

NoName-chan: Oh, and one for Road, too?

Lenalee: *Grins* No problem.

NoName-chan: Alright, moving on~! Next, let's have….. Tyki! *Evil grin* This idea was given to me by WinterPrentice. Tyki, I want you to choose a shovel: *Holds up a shovel covered in spikes* this shovel with a decent amount of spikes on it, *Holds up the shovel with the recording of the Millennium Earl's chatter on it* this shovel with a nonstop recording of the Millennium Earl's chatter on it, or *holds up my trusty shovel* the shovel that I've been beating you guys with all day?

Tyki: Um… I guess the first one since it has yet to cause me any trauma?

NoName-chan: *Grins* Excellent choice. Now, for the second part of my request: *starts beating Tyki with the spiked shovel*

Tyki: *Screaming* I SHOULD'VE CHOSEN THE EARL SHOVEL, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I SHOULD'VE CHOSEN THE EARL SHOVEL!

Lenalee: *Pales* I can't watch….. COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Random Camera Guy: I'M ON IT!

*~COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN~*

"BREATH MINTS~!" *Lavi orders for Tyki*

"POISONOUS CARROTS~!" *Kanda orders for the rabbit- er, I mean, Lavi*

"NONAME-CHAN SANDWICH SUPPLIES~!" *Allen orders*

"LENALEE'S TYKIxLAVI MAKEOUT TAPE~!" *NoName-chan, Road, Lenalee, Tyki, and 99.9% of the DGM fangirl population order*

"EVEN MORE SHOVELS~!" *NoName-chan orders*

*~COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END~*

*We return to me and Ben-kun casually talking on the red couch, Road, Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee casually talking on the blue couch, Tyki unconscious and bleeding on the floor again, and Allen still off somewhere trying to figure out the concept of a sandwich*

NoName-chan: Alright, we're back~!

Lenalee: *Looks at the bleeding Tyki* Um…. Should we do something?

NoName-chan: Probably…. *Grins* Lavi…?

Lavi: I'M NOT KISSING HIM AGAIN, SO DON'T EVEN ASK.

NoName-chan: Oh, well I was GOING to ask if you wanted a sandwich, but I guess not…

Lavi: God Damn It.

Kanda: Che. Well, will someone get Tyki out of here? He's starting to smell.

NoName-chan: I'm on it. *Throws Tyki's unconscious body out the window* Okay, next?

Lavi, Lenalee, Kanda: O.O

Roads: My turn~!

NoName-chan: *Grins* Alright, Road. All I want from you is some flying pointy candles that I can maim and/or kill people with.

Road: *Grins* Done. *Gives me some candles*

NoName-chan: Yayz~! Now, finally, we move on to our last Hostess' Choice Contestant of the day: Kanda~!

Kanda: *Rolls eyes* Che. Just get on with it.

NoName-chan: *Grins* Oh, I've been waiting for this moment for almost the entire Episode-Chapter-Thingy. Kanda, I want you… to become a stripper.

Kanda: *Gapes*

Lavi and Ben-kun: *Laugh*

Road: *Grins*

Lenalee: *Takes out video camera*

Kanda: WHAT?!

NoName-chan: You heard me.

Kanda: THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M DOING THAT.

NoName-chan: Hey, it's either that or the shovel. And even if you choose the shovel, you're still going to have to do it eventually. Your choice.

Kanda: *Growls* Che. Fine. Where and when do I start?

NoName-chan: *Grins* Here and Now.

*The table between the two couches suddenly becomes a risen platform with a stripper pole on it. Stripper music starts playing*

Kanda: *Sighs in defeat and climbs up onto the platform, where he begins his strip dance*

Every female within a 30 yard radius: *NOSEBLEED*

NoName-chan: *Starts throwing $1 bills at Kanda* COME ON, SHAKE IT~!

Allen: *Bursts into the room* Hey, NoName-chan, I got your sandwi- *Sees Kanda* JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED THIS TIME?!

NoName-chan: None of your concern. NOW WHERE'S MY SANDWICH?!

Allen: Here. *Gives me my sandwich*

NoName-chan: FINALLY! *Takes a bite and immediately spits it out* WHAT THE FUCK?! THERE'S MAYO ON THIS!

Allen: So?

NoName-chan: I ASKED FOR A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH, AND YOU PUT MAYO ON IT?!

Allen: That's how I eat mine….

NoName-chan: *Hits Allen over the head with the shovel* TAKE IT BACK AND TRY AGAIN! THIS TIME A _NORMAL_ PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH, PLEASE?! *Throws the Peanut butter, Jelly, and Mayo Sandwich at Allen*

Allen: *Gets hit in the face with the sandwich* AH! FINE, FINE, I'LL TRY AGAIN! *Leaves room*

NoName-chan: *Angry sigh* HOW DID HE EVEN MESS THAT ONE UP?!

Road: *Pats my shoulder gently* Shhhh it's okay. Just relax and enjoy the naked Kanda~

NoName-chan: Yeah, you're right. *Once again starts watching Kanda's strip dance*

_*20 minutes later*_

Allen: *Bursts into the room* I'M BACK- …..huh?

*The entire audience as well and Lenalee are unconscious from nosebleeds. Road and Lavi are laughing their asses off, and Ben and I are both throwing $1 bills at Kanda, who is still strip dancing*

NoName-chan: *Notices Allen and rolls eyes* WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, MAN?! I'M STARVING HERE!

Allen: Making you sandwich -.- *Gives me my sandwich*

NoName-chan: *Takes a bite and immediately spits it out* WHAT THE HELL?! I SAID APRICOT JELLY! THIS IS STRAWBERRY!

Allen: *Angry sigh* Look, I didn't put mayo on it this time. That's the best you're getting, so can you suck it up?!

NoName-chan: Eh? Of course I can. I like strawberry, too. But, still. *Hits Allen over the head with the shovel*

Allen: *Gets knocked unconscious from too many head wounds*

NoName-chan: *Eats my sandwich like a badass* NOBODY talks back to NoName-chan.

Road: *Finally stops laughing and looks around* Oh, wow. Hey, NoName-chan, our entire Audience is unconscious from blood loss, so we should probably end this Episode-Chapter-Thingy.

NoName-chan: *Looks around* Wow, you're right! Alright, Kanda, you can stop dancing now.

Kanda: *Stops dancing and puts clothes back on before collecting and going through the money that was thrown at him* Wow, $600. I should strip more often…

NoName-chan: You're damn right you should. Anyways, before I end this Episode-Chapter-Thingy, I just want to give a special thanks to WinterPrentice and myangelicladyofdarkness for helping me with today's Questions, Dares, Tortures, Randomness, and other ideas, even though I literally just PMed you guys out of nowhere with "PLEASE HELP ME!" I really appreciate your help, and I'd like to present to you the gift of SHOVELS~! *Gives Winter Prentice and myangelicladyofdarkness each a shovel*

WinterPrentice: This is going to come in handy….. *evil grin* And you're welcome!

myangelicladyofdarkness: I will need this….. My other shovel might get broken on Tyki's thick skull…..

NoName-chan: *Grins* Have fun with your shovels, my Lovelies~ Anyways, I'd also like to thank my dear friends, Jen-chan and Ben-kun, for their help~! I really appreciate it, and-

Ben-kun: You're welcome, NoName-chan ^^

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* DON'T INTERRUPT MY SPEECH, YOU LITTLE SHIT! Anyways, thank you all so much for your help in getting the first Episode-Chapter-Thingy of D Gray-Show up and running~!

Road: Can we wrap this up? I'm not trying to rush you or anything, NoName-chan, but I have a date with Lenalee tonight.

Ben-kun: *Fanboy squeal and nosebleed*

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* NO FANBOY SQUEALING! And, yes, Road, I'm almost done. I just need to say one more thing to the unconscious audience: PLEASE HELP ME~! I can't think up this random shit on my own! DX I need help! So, if you have any suggestions, questions, dares, tortures, randomness, ideas, or anything else that I can use on the Show-Fanfiction-Thingy, please tell me via Review, PM, or even email (address is on my bio,) I don't care~! Just please help me before I die of awful Allen PB&J&M Sandwich poisoning! If you do, I'll love you forever, and I'll give you a free shovel!

Road: Anything else?

NoName-chan: Yeah, just one last thing-

Lavi: THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID LAST TIME!

NoName-chan: *Hits Lavi over the head with the shovel* ZIP IT! Anyways, I'd also like you guys to tell me whether I should let Ben-kun continue hosting with me, or if I should just kick him off of the Show-Fanfiction-Thingy.

Road: Alright, is that it?

NoName-chan: Yup.

Road: Okay. I've got a date to get to~ *Drags Lenalee's unconscious body away*

Ben-kun: *Skips after them happily with a video camera*

NoName-chan: Well, 'Til next time~!

**_Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1 End_**

_….._

**_Extra: Lenalee and Road's Date_**

**Road and Lenalee: *At Ruby Tuesday's***

**Lenalee: *Studying the menu carefully***

**Road: *Eating a biscuit***

**Ben-kun: *Filming everything from a few tables away***

**Lenalee: ….He DOES realize that we know he's there, right?**

**Road: I honestly have no idea. So, do you know what you're getting yet?**

**Lenalee: *Shrugs* I'll get a burger, I guess….**

**Road: 'Kay. HEY, WAITER!**

**Waitress: I'm a girl, and I'm right here. You don't need to yell.**

**Road: Whatever. I want chicken tenders and she wants a burger! NOW, GO!**

**Waitress: *Walks away***

**Lenalee: …...**

**Road: …..So…**

**Lenalee: *Sighs* This is really boring.**

**Road: Yeah, I know. I wish NoName-chan was here….**

**NoName-chan: *Jumps up from under the table, flipping it* WHAT'S UP, BITCHES?**

**Entire restaurant: O_O …**

**Lenalee: …HAVE YOU BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME? O_O**

**NoName-chan: Yes. Yes I have.**

**Road: *Grins* YAYZ~! IT'S NONAME-CHAN~! :D**

**NoName-chan: *Grins* 'Sup, Road.**

**Some Random Waiter We Don't Care About: Hey, isn't she that chick that got banned from the restaurant for beating the manager with a shovel? What's she doing here?**

**Lenalee: Yeah, why ARE you here, NoName-chan?**

**NoName-chan: Because Road promised to go out on a killing spree with me after your date, and I got tired of waiting! Now, let's GO!**

**Road: *Grins* Gladly~! Bye, Lenalee~!**

**NoName-chan and Road: *Skip off into the sunset, arms linked, while killing random people with pointy candles and shovels***

**Lenalee: Well, thank god THAT'S over. *Suddenly looks exactly like Ronald McDonald* Now I can go off to my secret life~ *Runs to McDonald's***

**Ben-kun: Well, my DGM yuri dreams are crushed…*Throws camera in the trash and leaves***


	2. Chapter 1 5

**NoName-chan: *Looking at a mirror, focusing really hard*  
Allen: Um, what are you doing?  
NoName-chan: Trying to see if I look in the mirror long enough, I'll suddenly turn into Katsura Hoshino. Sadly, it isn't working. So still don't own DGM.**

**_….._**

*And we open up to our fabulous stage once again. Ben-kun and I are sitting on our beautiful red couch while a coffee table separates us from Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, Tyki, and Road, who are sitting on the blue couch. The suicide-inducing Game show music is playing, of course, and I'm busy polishing my shovel*

NoName-chan: *Grins* Hello there, everyone~! Happy to see you all again for Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.5 of D Gray-show~!

Allen: Wait, what? Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.5?

NoName-chan: You know? Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.5? Like the Episode-Chapter-Thingy between Episode-Chapter-Thingys 1 and 2?

Allen: *exasperated sigh*No, no, I meant, why is this Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.5 instead of 2?

NoName-chan: Oh, that's simple: because we didn't have enough people submit suggestions in order to come out with Episode-Chapter-Thingy 2. Seriously, so far we only have 1 question, 1 randomness, 1 torture, 2 dares, and only 3 murder plots!

Allen: Oh, yeah, that's not very much- WAIT, MURDER PLOTS?!

NoName-chan: Moving on. Anyways, the suggestions aren't coming in fast enough to have Episode-Chapter-Thingy 2 happen anytime soon-

Kanda: AND IT SHOULD STAY THAT WAY!

NoName-chan: -and the Network's owner said that if this doesn't work soon, he'll cut off my funds.

Tyki: Who owns the Network? O.o

NoName-chan: Ben-kun does. *glares at him*

Ben-kun: *yelps in fear* I-I'M SORRY, B-BUT IT WAS INCREDIBLY HARD TO GET THE FUNDS, A-AND I REALLY NEED TO MAKE IT BACK!

Lavi: Wait, where'd you get the funds from?

Ben-kun: Well, I went to the bank to get a loan. But they refused, so I robbed them.

Everybody: *silence* …..

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, Tyki: YOU ROBBED A BANK?! O.O

Ben-kun: Yup. Well, I got some of the money from the mafia, but that's another story. Point is, if I don't get that money back soon, I'm fucked o_o

Allen: *sighs* Okay, yeah, whatever. I still don't understand why we're having an Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.5.

NoName-chan: Oh yeah! Well, there're 3 reasons: 1. Because I need more suggestions, and what better way to get them than by making a special episode~?

Kanda: A better way would be to just not make them-

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel*STFU! Anyways, 2. Because I received a special suggestion from one of the few people who decided to help out that I believe needs its own Episode-Chapter-Thingy~!

Allen: We're going to die, aren't we?

Road: *grins* Probably~

Lavi: *Whimpers*

NoName-chan: And, finally, 3. *hits Allen over the head with the shovel* BECAUSE I'M THE HOSTESS AND I DO WHAT I WANT, NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Allen: *holds head in agony*

Lenalee: So, you said that there's a special suggestion at play today? What is it?

NoName-chan: *grins* It's something very special, courtesy of Pineapplebombgirl. But first, I need to knock everybody except Ben-kun unconscious.

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Tyki: Oh. Wait, WHAT?!

NoName-chan: *grin grows wider* You heard me. Now, FACE MY WRATH~! *jumps to my feet and starts swinging the shovel around*

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Tyki: *SHRIEK. Start running for their lives*AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

NoName-chan: GET BACK HERE! *Starts chasing them*

Lenalee: Am I the only one who thinks that this is a bit inhumane?

Ben-kun and Road: *Grin and start waving flags with my name on them around* GO NONAME-CHAN~!

Lenalee: *Sighs* I guess so…..

*MEANWHILE WITH THE VICTIM- I MEAN, "CONTESTANTS"*

Allen: HOW…. *pant* THE FUCK…. *pant* IS THIS…. *pant* LEGAL?!

Kanda: IT…. *pant* ISN'T! *pant* NONAME-CHAN…. *pant* IS JUST…. *pant* A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH!

Lavi: WELL,…. *pant* WE CAN'T…. *pant* KEEP RUNNING…. *pant* LIKE THIS…. *pant* FOREVER!

Tyki: HE'S RIGHT! *pant* WE NEED…. *pant* A PLAN!

Kanda: *pant* I'VE GOT ONE! *pant*

Allen: REALLY? *pant* WHAT…. *pant* IS IT?

Kanda: *trips Allen* EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF! *starts running even faster and leaves the others behind*

Allen: *pulls himself to his feet painfully* KANDA, YOU TRAITOROUS BASTARD! *starts running again but is stopped by a hand on his shoulder from behind*

Unknown voice: *whispers in Allen's ear* Come with me, I'll help you.

Allen's thoughts: _'Hm, a random voice that I've never heard before asking me to go with them. Sounds perfectly safe!'_

Actual Allen: Okay! *is led to a dark alley*

Unknown voice: *Allen can see a dark silhouette of them* So, you're running from NoName-chan?

Allen: Last time I checked, yeah.

Unknown voice: Well, I can help you stop her.

Allen: *eyes widen* REALLY?! HOW?!

Unknown voice: SHHHHHHH! *looks around frantically* I parked my car in a tow away zone, you need to be quiet!

Allen: *lowers his voice to a whisper* Sorry! Anyways, you know how to stop NoName-chan? How?

Unknown voice: It's easy. *holds an open hand out into the light, revealing a pill* You just need to give NoName-chan her medication.

Allen: Really? That's it? O.O

Unknown voice: Pretty much.

Allen: Wow. *Takes the pill from the person* Thanks! But, wait, why are you helping me?

Unknown voice: Because, THIS FUCKING NONAME-CHAN IS DRIVING ME UP A FUCKING WALL!

Allen: Was that a Dane Cook reference?

Unknown voice: What is this, 20 Questions? Of course it was a Dane Cook reference!

Allen: Awesome. Okay, one last question: Who are you?

Unknown voice: *smirks and steps into the light, revealing themselves to be a 13 year old girl 1 inch taller than Allen with (dyed) dark brown shoulder blade-length hair and grey-ish eyes* I'm NoName-chan's best friend, Jen-chan.

Allen: Oh. Wait, if you're her best friend, then why are you conspiring against her?

Jen-chan: NO MORE QUESTIONS! NOW, GO! *pushes Allen out of the alley*

Allen: *shrugs and runs off to find me*

*5 minutes later*

Allen: *sees me taking a break from chasing the idiots at a taco stand*

NoName-chan: Yeah, okay, can I get 6 tacos with extra everything, 4 burritos, 10 enchiladas, some chips and salsa, 8 quesadillas, and 42 churros please? Oh, and a small Slushie.

Taco Stand Guy: O_o

Allen: AHA! *Tackles me to the ground and forces me to swallow the pill*

NoName-chan: What the-?

Allen: HA! I win! I'm the winner!

NoName-chan: *Grins* You're an idiot. *Disappears*

Allen: *hits the ground* Huh? O.O

NoName-chan: *Appears behind him and taps his shoulder*

Allen: *whirls around to looks up at me in terror* W-WHA-?! HOW-?!

NoName-chan: *Grins* Thanks for giving me my energy supplement pill! *Knocks Allen out with the shovel*

Allen: *unconscious*

NoName-chan: *wipes sweat off my forehead* One down, three to go!

Jen-chan: *Walks up to me* Wow, he's an idiot.

NoName-chan: *grins* Yup. *Hands her $20 bucks* Here's your payment. Thanks again for helping me, Lulubell!

Jen-chan: *Changes form until she reveals herself to actually be Lulubell and takes the $20* Anytime. *Walks away*

NoName-chan: Alright, now where was I? *turns back towards the taco stand* My food, please.

Taco Stand Guy: *Gaping in fear and horror at the sight of me, my (now bloody) shovel, and unconscious Allen*

*MEANWHILE WITH THE OTHER PREY*

Kanda: *still a little bit ahead of the others. Hears the sound of Allen shouting followed by the loud slam of a shovel hitting someone's head* WELL,…. *pant* MOYASHI'S OUT.

Tyki: YOU'RE…. *PANT* CRUEL.

Lavi: YOU KNOW,…. *pant* WE'RE STILL…. *pant* FUCKED…. *pant* IF NONAME-CHAN…. *pant* CATCHES US!

Kanda: WELL,…. *pant* THERE IS…. *pant* A WAY…. *pant* THAT WE…. *pant* CAN TRAVEL FASTER.

Tyki: REALLY? *pant* WHAT?

Kanda: *stops dead in his tracks* Ok, first, we-

Lavi and Tyki: *crash into him, sending them all flying*

Kanda: YOU FUCKING IDIOTS WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU I AM GOING TO SLICE YOU BOTH TO PIECES-

Tyki: ANYWAYS, what's the plan?

Kanda: Right, right. Well, first we…

*5 minutes later*

Kanda: ….and then after that…

*Another 5 minutes later? O.o*

Kanda: …And then we use the costumes to…..

*GODDAMMIT, WHO THE FUCK LET BEN-KUN CONTROL THE TIME SKIPS?*

Kanda: … And then finally, we….

**bursts into the video editing room and sees Ben-kun messing with the time skip controls* BEN-KUN! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE VIDEO EDITING SOFTWARE! *starts beating him with the shovel**

Kanda: ….okay? Got it?

Lavi and Tyki: *salute* RODGER THAT!

Kanda: Alright then. Now, GO!

Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *each run in different directions*

*WITH TYKI*

Tyki: *looks at sticky note* Okay, on Kanda's shopping list it says I need…. Booty shorts? O.o

AWESOME! *runs into a department store*

Random Clerk Lady: *smiles at Tyki* Welcome to Forever 21! How can I help you?

Tyki: Hi, I need 3 pairs of booty shorts for me and my friends.

Random Clerk Lady: …...  
Right this way~! ^^ *leads him to a shelf of booty shorts of many different colors and patterns* Okay, it might take a little bit of work finding your size, but I'm sure it's possible if you just tell me what design you want.

Tyki: Alright….. *looks down at the piles and piles of booty shorts* Hm… There's so many choices, I don't think I could possibly choose- *freezes immediately as his eyes land on a certain pair of shorts. Gapes*

Random Clerk Lady: Do you see a pair you like?

Tyki: Yes….. *points at the pair with a huge smile* THOSE~!

Random Clerk Lady: *looks to where he's pointing and smiles* A fantastic choice~! Let me just take your waist measurements, and I'll have them ready for you right away!

*5 minutes of waist measurements and "accidental" groping courtesy of Random Clerk Lady later*

Random Clerk Lady: *hands Tyki the shorts* Try these on please~

Tyki: Okay~! *pulls off his pants and puts on the shorts*

Random Pedestrians: *eyes widen as Tyki forgets that he's in the middle of the store instead of the Dressing Rooms*

Random Clerk Lady: *Points to a large mirror that's conveniently right there* What do you think? ^^

Tyki: *looks in the mirror. Eyes widen* THEY'RE… PERFECT… *starts striking different poses*

*5 minutes of Tyki's fashionista poses in front of the large mirror in the middle of Forever 21 later*

Random Clerk Lady: Okay, can I get you anything else? ^^

Tyki: Yeah *pulls off the shorts and puts his pants back on before handing the shorts to Random Clerk Lady* Can you get me two more pairs of these, same size, same print?

Random Clerk Lady: *smiles* Certainly. Anything else?

Tyki: *looks down at his shopping list* Yup! I also need….

*WITH LAVI*

Lavi: *walks into a store*

Random Clerk Guy: *monotone* Welcome to Walmart. How can I assist you?

Lavi: …Please don't… *runs off to an aisle and looks at his list* Okay, my job is…. To create a distraction? *grins* AWESOME! So what should I do first… hm….. *grin widens* GOT IT! *runs to another aisle*

*2 minutes later*

Random Lady: *Walks into an aisle containing "Feminine Products" and starts looking at tampons. Evidently makes a choice and grabs a box*

Lavi: *jumps out from the stack of tampon boxes, sending most of them flying in random directions, and grabs the box in Random Lady's hand* NOOOOO! I'M THE TAMPAX PEARL MONTSER! STOP STEALING MY CHILDREN!

Random Lady: *Screams at the top of her lungs and runs away in terror*

Lavi: *Laughs ass off for a few minutes before calming down again* Okay, what should I do next?... OOOH! I KNOW! *runs to another aisle*

*5 minutes later*

Random Guy: *Peacefully shopping in the produce section, inspecting pumpkins*

Lavi: *runs up to him* OH MY GOD, YOU FOUND IT! YOU FOUND THE DEVICE! *Grabs a large pumpkin and punches through it, creating a large hole* THERE! NOW WE CAN READ THE MAP!

Random Guy: OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! *Attempts to take the pumpkin from Lavi*

Lavi: *drops the pumpkin, causing it to break* OH NO! YOU DESTROYED THE DEVICE, LENNY! NOW WE'LL NEVER MAKE IT TO NEVERLAND!

Random Guy: WHAT ARE YOU-?!

Lavi: NOOOOOOOOOOO! *runs off to a random aisle on the other side of the store before stopping* Ok, what should I do next? Maybe….. YES! *runs to another aisle*

*5 minutes later*

Teenage Guy and Girl: *walking down an aisle, holding hands*

Lavi: *runs up to them* Rose? I that you?! ROSE! IT'S ME, JACK! YOU KNOW? THAT GUY YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH ON THE TITANIC?

Teenage Girl: W-wha? I never fell in love with you-

Lavi: *gives her a disgusted glare* NOT YOU, IDIOT! I was TALKING to ROSE! *turns to Teenage Guy and tackles him in a huge hug* Oh, Rose~! I've missed you so much! Ever since I froze to death in the ocean, and- wait a minute….. YOU LET ME DIE! *Steps back and slaps the guy* HOW COULD YOU?! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!

Teenage Guy: WHAT THE HELL?!

Lavi: NO! NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?! I'M DONE WITH THIS! IT'S OVER!

Teenage Guy: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLE-?!

Lavi: *starts singing* SO, SO WHAT? I'M STILL A ROCKSTAR! I'VE GOT MY ROCK MOVES! AND I DON'T NEEEEEEEED YOOOOUUUUUU~! *runs off to some other aisle before stopping again* Okay, what shall I do next-?

Random Lady: *points at Lavi frantically* THERE HE IS! THERE'S THE TAMPAX PEARL MONSTER!

Security Guards: *start running towards Lavi*

Lavi: SHIT! *starts running away*

*WITH KANDA*

Kanda: *Waiting in the parking lot of the mall where Tyki and Lavi are adventuring, tapping his foot impatiently*

Tyki: *runs up to Kanda, holding several large Forever 21 bags* I finished!

Kanda: Che, 'bout time, and- JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I TOLD YOU TO GET 5 THINGS! HOW MUCH DID YOU BUY?!

Tyki: *holds the bags of clothes protectively* But Kandaaaaa! They had a sale on pleated miniskirts and mango skittles lip gloss!

Kanda: *rubs his head in frustration and sighs* Did you at least get what I told you to?

Tyki: *beams* Yup~! Here's your outfit! *gives Kanda one of the bags*

Kanda: Ok, good. *reaches into the bag* Now, we cha- What the hell is this? *holds up the outfit*

Tyki: It's the outfit you told me to get.

Kanda: WHEN I TOLD YOU TO BUY THIS STUFF, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD GET THESE DESIGNS.

Tyki: HEY! The lady at the store told me this was trendy!

Kanda: *rolls eyes* Just- Whatever. I give up. Let's just go change.

*5 minutes later*

Kanda: *walks back into the parking lot in a pair of bright lime green knee-high heeled boots, a tight hot pick cami, a stylish purple scarf, a pair of blue designer sunglasses, and a pair of bright rainbow zebra print booty shorts*

Tyki: *walks up to Kanda wearing an identical outfit. Does a fashionista twirl* Fabulous, right~?

Kanda: *death glare* I fucking hate you. But alas, if we don't want to have our skulls cracked open by NoName-chan, we need to go. Come on! *Runs towards the nearest street*

Tyki: *follows Kanda, lugging his shopping bags* But, wait! What about Lavi?

Kanda: …

Tyki: …Oh my god, we're ditching him, aren't we?

Kanda: Yeah. Got a problem with that?

Tyki: YES! OH MY GOD, THIS IS TERRIBLE!

Kanda: *eyes widen* Geez, I didn't think you liked Lavi that much…..

Tyki: WHAT?! NO! I HAD TO BUY HIM AN OUTFIT, TOO! I COULD'VE USED THAT MONEY TO GET 3 MORE VESTS!

Kanda: Well, we needed someone to distract NoName-chan while we escape, and I've been trying to get rid of the damn rabbit for years, so you're going to have to just get over it.

Tyki: *sighs* Whatever. So what do we do next?

Kanda: I EXPLAINED THE ENTIRE PLAN TO YOU EARLIER!

Tyki: You did?

Kanda: YES! WEREN'T YOU LISTENING?

Tyki: Hm…

_*FLASHBACK (TYKI'S P.O.V.)*_

Kanda: BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH…

Tyki's thoughts: _'I think there's a sale at Victoria's Secret today….. Maybe I should go after this. Wait! Don't I have a coupon for Bed Bath & Beyond? Maybe I should go there instead. But the Victoria's Secret sale might be a one day only thing! I can't miss that! But what if my Bed Bath & Beyond Coupon expires before I get the chance to go there again? GAH….. SO MANY CHOICES… WHAT SHOULD I CHOOSE?! Hm… Victoria's Secret. No, Bed Bath & Beyond. No, Victoria's Secret. No, Bed Bath & Beyond. No, BOTH!'_

_*FLASHBACK END*_

Tyki: U-um, y-yeah, I was listening! B-but, would you mind running it by me again?

Kanda: *Angry sigh* I'll explain when we get there, now come on! *runs even faster*

Tyki: *follows*

*5 minutes later*

Kanda and Tyki: *Stop when they reach the side of a road*

Tyki: Okay, so what do we do?

Kanda: Just follow my example. *puts his arm out to the side and gives a thumbs up*

Tyki: … We're hitchhiking?

Kanda: Yup.

Tyki: … *shrugs and does the same as Kanda*

A Car: *pulls up next to them*

Driver: *rolls down the window* You ladies need a ride?

Kanda: LADIE-?!

Tyki: Yes, please! *puts his many shopping bags in the trunk before getting in the car*

Kanda: *tick mark* CHE. *gets in the car as well*

Car: *drives away*

Tyki: So, wait, Kanda? Why'd we need these outfits again?

Kanda: To grab attention.

Tyki: Oh. That makes sense. So, how long do you think do you think NoName-chan will be stalled for?

Kanda: Hopefully long enough for us to get out of the country.

*WITH LAVI*

Lavi: *Has run out of Walmart and left the Security Guards long behind. Stops on a side walk somewhere else in town* That was a close one….. *looks around* Wait….. where am I?

*Silence*

Lavi: SHIT! *sighs* Well, considering the fact that I have no clue where to find Kanda or Tyki, I should probably go hide from NoName-chan. *Looks around* Now, where's the last place she'd be?... I'VE GOT IT! *runs off*

*AT A SCHOOL*

Teacher: Okay, class, if 5x + 75 equals the supplement of a 23 degree angle, what is x?

Students: O_O

Teacher: …Oh yeah, this is an Art class, isn't it?

Lavi: *bursts through the window* HELP! THERE'S A DERANGED 13-YEAR-OLD AFTER ME!

Students: *SCREAM*

Teacher: *angrily glares at Lavi* NO YELLING IN THE CLASSROOM!

Lavi: BUT, MISS, NONAME-CHAN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!

NoName-chan: *bursts through a second window holding unconscious Allen over my right shoulder and a taco in my left hand* STOP RIGHT THERE, RABBIT!

Lavi: *SCREAM. Hides behind the teacher*

Teacher: *exasperated sigh* Please refrain from using the windows to enter and exit the classroom.

NoName-chan: Oh, sorry. But I have a TV show and I'm kinda on a man hunt, so can I please have that ugly guy behind you?

Lavi: HEY!

Teacher: *Kicks Lavi* NO YELLING IN THE CLASSROOM!

Students: *Shaking in terror*

Teacher: And, yeah, sure. *picks up Lavi and gives him to me* Have fun on your little Play Date, okay, NoName-chan? ^^

NoName-chan: *smiles* I will, thanks, Mom! ^^

Lavi: MOM?!

NoName-chan: My mom's a teacher, duh -.- Now, *holds up the shovel* Where was I? *knocks Lavi out with the shovel and drags his and Allen's bodies away while finishing my taco*

Students: *Wide eyed and gaping in horror with splatters of Lavi's head blood and pieces of broken glass on their faces*

Teacher: Now, where were we? Turn to Lesson 6 on page 142 and do the exercises shown while I call the janitor to come clean up the blood before the stains set in.

*WITH KANDA AND TYKI*

Kanda and Tyki: *Still in the car*

Tyki: So… do you think Lavi's dead yet?

Kanda: Probably.

Tyki: *chill goes down his spine* Kanda, I have a bad feeling about this.

Kanda: *Raises an eyebrow* What do you mean?

Tyki: I have this sinking feeling that NoName-chan's going to catch us…..

Kanda: You're worrying too much. She'll never catch us now. Even if she does somehow know where we are, there's no way she'll be able to catch us. We're in a car, remember? How could she possibly get us here? She can't exactly just go up to some car on a freeway and say "Hey, can I kill those two hitchhikers in the back seat?" So just relax. She can't get us.

Tyki: *Deep breath* Yeah, you're probably right, Kanda. There's no way she'll catch us.

NoName-chan: *Lands on the windshield of the car*

Kanda, Tyki, Driver: *SCREAM*

Car: *Swerves until it drives off the road and crashes into a tree*

Kanda: OH MY GOD, GO! GO! GO!

Kanda and Tyki: *Jump out of the car and run for their lives*

NoName-chan: *Appears in front of them holding the handle of a wagon with Allen and Lavi's unconscious bodies in it* NOT SO FAST! *knocks them both out with the shovel*

Kanda and Tyki: *Crumple to the ground*

NoName-chan: *sigh of relief* Finally! *Puts their unconscious bodies on the wagon along with the others'* Now, how am I going to get them all back to the NoName-chan Fanfiction Co. building?... Hm…..

*MEANWHILE WITH BEN-KUN, ROAD, AND LENALEE*

Road: *impatiently tapping her foot* God, where IS she?

Lenalee: No idea…..

Ben-kun: Well, just calm down, ladies! I'm sure she'll be back soon! I can imagine it now: my sweet little unbiological sister skipping in through that door with a sweet little smile on her face-

NoName-chan: *Drives through the wall in a monster truck* I'M BACK!

Ben-kun, Lenalee, and Audience: O_O

Road: FINALLY~! How'd it go?

NoName-chan: *Gets out of the truck, dragging the 4 unconscious bodies* It took a while, but it went pretty well~!

Road: Awesome~! *kicks Tyki's unconscious body* So, what now?

NoName-chan: Well, for the suggestion, I also need to knock out you and Lenalee, so I guess I'll do that now.

Lenalee: *Pales* Wait…. Are you gonna hit us with the shovel, too? o.o

NoName-chan: *Smiles* Of course not! The shovel's only for the 5 idiots.

Ben-kun: Yeah, the 5- HEY!

NoName-chan: Moving on. I've got other ways to knock you and Road out.

Road: Really? How?

NoName-chan: *Grins* Like THIS! *Shows Lenalee a VERY detailed doujinshi drawing*

Lenalee: *Squeals and passes out from a massive nosebleed*

Ben-kun: Wow 0.0

NoName-chan: Yup~! ^^

Ben-kun: *Grins* Lenalee looks really pretty when she's unconscious…..

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with the shovel* NO PERVINESS!

Ben-kun: *Unconscious*

NoName-chan: …Woops….

Road: Well, what now?

NoName-chan: *Sighs* I WAS going to leave Ben-kun conscious and knock you out, but I guess this'll work… Well, Road, this was all for today's activity. You see, when I knocked everybody out, I made sure it was to the point that when they wake up, they'll all have temporary amnesia. So, basically, today's activity is that we're going to convince them all that they're all their opposites!

Road:*Grins* This is gonna be fun~!

NoName-chan: *Grins* Yup~! Anyways, after everybody is in their new persona, we're going to take them all out for dinner at Applebee's and see what they all do! And of course, we'll be secretly recording them the whole time.

Road: Awesome~! So, when are they going to wake up?

NoName-chan: Well, Road, it's hard to say. It could really be anytime between now and when I blow this airhorn in their ears. *Blows the airhorn*

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, Tyki, Ben-kun: *Shoot awake* AH!

NoName-chan: *puts on a façade of worry* Oh my god, guys, are you okay?

Allen: *rubs head* W-what happened?

Road: *puts on a similar act to mine* We were all just walking when you guys all tripped and hit your heads! You've been unconscious for, like, an hour!

Ben-kun: Really? *Looks around* Where are we?

NoName-chan: We're at a movie set. It was the nearest place we could lay you guys down.

Lavi: Really? Wow….

Tyki: Wait a second…. *Blink blink* Who are you guys?

Road: *Fake gasp* You guys don't remember? We're your best friends! I'm Road, and this is NoName-chan.

Kanda: Oh… *Blink blink* But….. who are we?

NoName-chan: *Fake gasp of horror* Oh no! They don't remember who they are! What are we going to do, Road?

Road: Well…. Maybe it's temporary. You know what? I bet if we tell them who they are, they'll remember right away!

NoName-chan: *beams* You're right! Well, *points at Kanda* Your name is Yuu Kanda, but you like it way better when people call you Yuu-chan. You're a super nice and friendly person who likes to be friends with everyone. You are also a cheerful employee at the Black Order Costume Store, where you spend your time dressing up as a fairy princess and dancing around, giving candy to the children.

Kanda: *smiles sweetly* U-um, yeah! I think I remember!

NoName-chan: *Fake tear of joy* I'm glad. Anyways, *points at Lenalee* Your name is Lenalee Lee. You have a huge brother complex over your big brother, Komui Lee, and you're always very overprotective of him and always beat up his colleague, Reever Wenham, for being near him. You're incredibly energetic, and you love to annoy your friends. You also have a tendency to pull pranks and interrupt people, then laugh about it. You're currently unemployed, but you devote your time to stalking your brother, pranking Reever, and making mischief with your best friend, Allen.

Lenalee: *mischievous grin* Righto~!

NoName-chan: *points to Allen* Your name is Allen Walker, but you like it better when people call you "beansprout." You're smug, sarcastic, and a bit mischievous. You are a total playboy, and you like to tease all the ladies except Lenalee. However, your one true love is Yuu-chan, and you kiss him as much as possible. You work as a stripper, and you will strip for anyone willing to pay for it. Lenalee is your best friend, but when you two are together, you're like evil twins. You guys prank everybody and like to cause chaos wherever you go.

Allen: *low seductive tone and sly smile* So I am, you lovely gems~ *winks*

NoName-chan: *resists the urge to hit him over the head with the shovel*

Road: *Grins and makes a mental note to record his flirtation and make it her ringtone*

Allen: *Sees Kanda* My precious Yuu-chan~! *Launches a surprise kiss*

Kanda: *Blushes a kisses back*

NoName-chan, Road, Audience: *Nosebleeds*

NoName-chan: Awwwww, so sweet ^^ Anyways, *points at Lavi* Your name is Lavi, but you hate it when people call you by your given name and always expect them to call you "Rabbit." You're an irritable person who shows very little emotion. Everybody annoys you except for your boyfriend, who you still act ignorant of in public. You're gay, and you can barely stand talking to women without throwing up. The only girls who you are comfortable around are me, Road, Lenalee, and a girl who likes you named Pineapplebombgirl. You work as a servant for Pineapplebombgirl, and you always cater to her wants and needs without question. Lenalee and Allen particularly piss you off with their mischief, but the person you hate the most is Yuu-chan. He is always very sweet towards you and desperately wants to be your friend, but you always act as mean as possible towards him.

Lavi: *rolls eyes in annoyance* Che.

Road: *whispering in my ear* What was with the part about Pineapplebombgirl? O.o

NoName-chan: *whispering in Road's ear* Well, she's the one who came up with the whole idea in the first place, and she really likes Lavi, so I thought I'd give her a little treat as thanks.

Lavi: *growling* What the hell are you two idiots whispering about?

Road: Oh, nothing, Rabbit ^^;;;

NoName-chan: Anyways, *points at Tyki* Your name is Tyki Mikk. You are incredibly bipolar. One second, you'll be happy and kind, and the next you'll be picking a fight on with random person. You are Rabbit's boyfriend, and you always show your love for him despite his irritability. Your pet name for him is "Bunny-boy," but he always yells at you for calling him that. You work as a transvestite GoGo Dancer, and you like to show off your Transvestite GoGo Dancing skills wherever you go. You also try to convince Rabbit to join you in such activities, but he acts angry as always. Whenever you aren't working your shift as a GoGo Dancer, you're Road's slave, and you do whatever she wants.

Tyki: *Smiles and wraps Lavi in a huge hug* Bunny-boy~!

Lavi: *pries Tyki off of him* Don't touch me, dumbass!

NoName-chan: And finally, *points at Ben-kun* Your name is Ben, but everybody calls you Ben-kun. You're my big brother, and you worship me as if I was a goddess. I beat you with a shovel constantly, but you don't mind because you worship me so much. You, of course, work for me as my worshipper, but you do not get paid for that.

Ben-kun: *bows to me* Of course, my dear sister!

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with the shovel* Duh.

Road: So is that everybody?

NoName-chan: I think so. Anyways, before you guys all tripped, we were heading to Applebee's. We only came here to pick up Pineapplebombgirl *motions to her in the audience* to go with us. Come on!

NoName-chan and Road: *walk towards the exit, getting Pineapplebombgirl on the way*

Ben-kun: *follows me closely, worshipping me the whole time*

Allen: *Finally stops kissing Kanda and grabs his hand, leading him towards the exit while sending seductive winks and flirtatious smiles towards the fangirls in the audience*

Kanda: *blushes and follows Allen closely with a shy smile*

Tyki: *smiles happily and starts dragging Lavi towards the exit by the wrist*

Lavi: *follows with annoyance*

Lenalee: *grins childishly and trips Lavi before running towards the exit*

Lavi: YOU LITTLE- *chases after her with murder in his eyes- er, eye*

Tyki: *chases after Lavi* WAIT FOR ME, BUNNY-BOY!

Pineapplebombgirl: *Grins* This gonna be awesome.

NoName-chan and Road: *Grin* We know~

*10 MINUTES LATER AT APPLEBEE'S*

NoName-chan, Road: *Walk in and find the place decked out with party lights* Huh? O.o

Pineapplebombgirl: *Walks in with the same findings and smiles* YAY~! It's Karaoke Night!

NoName-chan: Karaoke Night? Road, you thinking what I'm thinking?

Road: *Grins and holds up a camera with the word "Blackmail" written on the side* Way ahead of you.

NoName-chan: *Grins* Good.

Lenalee: *Bursts into the restaurant, giggling madly, and heads towards some unknown destination* Come on, Allen!

Allen: *Runs in after her, grinning* Right behind you!

Allen, Lenalee: *Disappear through some unknown door*

Pineapplebombgirl: *Sweat drops* Uh Oh….. That foretells trouble to come…..

NoName-chan: *Grins* Correction: That foretells hilariousness to come.

Lavi: *bolts in, fuming* WHERE DID THEY GO?!

Pineapplebombgirl: *Squeals* LAVI~! *Glomps him*

LavI: *Stiffens slightly but doesn't shake her off*

Pineapplebombgirl: HUG ME BACK, DAMMIT!

Lavi: Yes, ma'am. *Hugs her back*

Pineapplebombgirl: *In her happy place*

Tyki: *Walks in, chatting with Kanda about how "absolutely fabulous" their matching outfits are*

Kanda: *Smiling and agreeing with enthusiastic nods of his head*

Ben-kun: *Finally drags himself in, rubbing his head from the many shovel hits he got on the way to the restaurant*

NoName-chan: *Turns towards Ben-kun* THERE YOU ARE! Now, go get us a table for 9!

Ben-kun: *bows* Yes, sis!

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with the shovel* I SAID, "GO!"

Ben-kun: *Goes*

Pineapplebombgirl: *Finally unlatches herself from Lavi* Now, go get me a bag of pretzels~! ^^

Lavi: *Bows* Yes, ma'am. *Turns to leave*

Road: WAIT! I have an idea! Why don't you go with him, Yuu-chan?

NoName-chan: *Grins* That sounds like an excellent idea!

Kanda: *Shy sweet smile* Okay.

Lavi: *Growls* What?! NO WAY IN HELL!

Pineapplebombgirl: No, he's going with you, and that's FINAL!

Lavi: *sighs* Yes, ma'am. Come on, idiot. *roughly grabs Kanda's arm and leaves*

*5 minutes later*

Lavi and Kanda: *Arrive at a convenience store*

Lavi: *points at Kanda* YOU! Go get the damn pretzels!

Kanda: *smiles and nods* O-of course! *runs off to go get them*

Lavi: *rolls eyes* Che. *starts reading a random magazine*

*WITH KANDA*

Kanda: *walking through an aisle, looking for the pretzels*

Man: *walks by and sees Kanda* Hey, aren't you that crazy samurai from The Black Order?

Kanda: *SHRIEK* STRANGER DANGER! *throws a bag of Doritos at the man's face and runs*

Lavi: *still waiting impatiently*

Kanda: *crashes into him from behind* RABBIT!

Lavi: WHAT THE HELL, YUU-CHAN?! I'M GOING TO FUCKING SLIT YOUR THROAT!

Kanda: THERE'S A STRANGE MAN BEHIND ME! A STRANGE MAN!

Man: *runs to them* GET BACK HERE!

Kanda: *SCREAM*

Lavi: *tick mark* Oh, for the love of god... *takes Mugen from Kanda's belt*

*20 minutes later*

Kanda and Lavi: *walk back into Applebee's*

NoName-chan: *angrily glaring at them and tapping my foot expectantly* Care to explain why the fuck I just had to bail you both out of jail for attempted homicide?!

Kanda: Well, you see, there was a scary man and he yelled at us and Rabbit took the sword from my samurai costume and-

NoName-chan: *Interrupts him with a loud sigh* Whatever, just don't do it again.

Pineapplebombgirl: *glomps Lavi* Rabbit~! ^^ Where are my pretzels?

Lavi: Uh...

Pineapplebombgirl: *freezes* Wait... You DID get the pretzels, right?

Lavi: Maybe not...

Pineapplebombgirl: *SCREAM*

NoName-chan: *hits Lavi over the head with the shovel* GOD DAMN IT, RABBIT, YOU PUT HER IN SHOCK!

Lavi: HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?!

NoName-chan: FIX IT!

Lavi: *sighs. Walks up to a random waiter* Hey, can I get one pretzel, please?

Waiter: Right away, sir!

Tyki: ...Wait, if they sell pretzels here, then what was the point of all this?

NoName-chan and Road: *Shrug and grin* Who cares?

Tyki: *sighs*

Waitress: *walks up to Lavi and gives him a plate with three large pretzels on it* Here you go! ^^

Lavi: *throws up on the ground*

NoName-chan: *SCREAM* EEUUEGHEUGHEUGH! GROSS! WHY THE HELL DID HE JUST PUKE?!

Road: Didn't you tell him that the very sight of girls makes him nauseous?

NoName-chan: ...Oh yeah...

Lavi: *wipes his mouth and give Pineapplebombgirl the pretzels*

Pineapplebombgirl: *comes back into reality and squeals* PRETZELS~! *eats them*

NoName-chan: Hey, where's Lenalee?

Lenalee: *randomly shows up behind me* Right here~!

NoName-chan: *does an incredibly weir- er, "sexy" muscle spasm dance in surprise* OHJESUSCHRISTWHATTHEFUCK DON'T DO THAT

Lenalee: *grins*

Komui and Reever: *walk into Applebee's*

Reever: *sighs* Look, I'm telling you, turning Kanda into a girl is not going to decrease the chances of Lenalee being raped.

Komui: *cries* B-but- *locks eyes with Lenalee*

Komui and Lenalee: *Squeal in joy* BROTHER/SISTER!

*cue slow motion movie cliche-style reunion with Komui and Lenalee running towards each other while what I think is piano music is playing*

NoName-chan: *steps in between them, completely interrupting the scene* NO! NO! WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS! NO SLOW MOTION!

Komui and Lenalee: ... *shrug and tackle hug each other*

Komui: OH MY DEAR BABY SISTER I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

Lenalee: OH MY PRECIOUS BIG BROTHER! HAS THAT STUPID REEVER DONE ANYTHING BAD TO YOU?!

Reever: Wait, WHAT?

Lenalee: *glares at him and kicks him in the stomach*

Reever: *crumples to the floor* OW!

Lenalee: OH, NII-SAN~!

Komui: OH, NEE-CHAN~!

Komui and Lenalee: *continue weeping and embracing each other*

Reever: *moans in pain on the floor*

NoName-chan: *laughs* Oh, this is AWESOME!

Road: *grins* Yup!

NoName-chan: But, alas, tears of joy are bad for ratings, so this'll have to stop.

Ben-kun: How are you going to do that? O.o

NoName-chan: I'll just ask Komui and Reever to leave, of course! ^^ *walks over to them and calmly clears my throat* Excuse me, but *judo flips them both out the window* GET THE FUCK OUT!

Ben-kun: *laughs* Oh, Mistress, that was awesome! ^^

NoName-chan: *smirks* I know~

Lenalee: *SHRIEK* NII-SAN! *attempts to leave the restaurant to help him*

NoName-chan: HEY, LENALEE, LOOK! WHIPPED CREAM! *holds up a can of whipped cream*

Lenalee: *immediately stops* Whipped cream? *grins and takes the can* AWESOME! *runs off, forgetting about Komui*

Komui: *sobs* LENALE-!

NoName-chan: *knocks him out with the shovel* Problem solved~

Ben-kun: *smiles* Great job, sis! ^^

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with the shovel and smirks* Duh~

Tyki: *randomly jumps up on the table and starts GoGo Dancing*

Everyone Else: O.O

NoName-chan: WHAT THE-?!

Road: You made him a Transvestite GoGo Dancer, remember?

NoName-chan: Kind of? O.o

Tyki: *Still GoGo Dancing* JOIN ME, RABBIT~! ^^

Lavi: Che.

Kanda: *picks up somebody's baby lovingly* Awwww, miss, he's the cutest thing ever! ^^

The baby's mom: I know! He's simply precious! ^^

NoName-chan: WHAT THE FUC-?!

Road: You made him work at a costume store where he spends his time happily giving candy to children, remember?

NoName-chan: Oh yeah...*sighs* I'm starting to regret the character choices I made for this... Things are just spiraling out of control!

Road: *shrugs* Whatever, just do what I do: get a drink. *walks up to the bar*

Allen: *walks up to the bar as well and sits down next to Road with a smirk* Hey, beautiful~

Road: *grins* Hey, Hot Stuff.

Allen: *smiles seductively at Road* Can I get you a drink?

Road: *grins wider* Sure. OI, BARTENDER! ONE VIRGIN STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRI!

Allen: *grins at the bartender* Actually, make that un-virgin. *glances and Road with a smug smile* That's alright with you, right, gorgeous?

Road: *smirks* You can un-virgin my daiquiri anytime, aye Papi?

NoName-chan: *curls up in the corner* WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO?...

Ben-kun: I don't know, ma'am. I do not know.

NoName-chan: *siiiiigh* I'll just... I don't know. Pee? *walks to the bathroom*

*5 minutes later*

NoName-chan: *storms out of the bathroom and holds up an unconscious snapping turtle with a shovel-shaped dent in its shell* LENALEE! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT PUTTING SNAPPING TURTLES IN THE TOILET- huh? o.o

Kanda and Tyki: *singing and dancing very... "Suggestively"*

_"California girls, we're unforgettable,_

_Daisy dukes, bikinis on top!_

_Sunkissed skin,_

_So hot we'll melt your popsicle!_

_Oh oh oh ohhhhhhh!"_

Allen: *strip dancing on one of the tables to the music*

Road and fangirls: *throwing money at Allen*

Lenalee: *running for her life, giggling*

Lavi: *chasing Lenalee around with whipped cream in his hair* GET BACK HERE, YOU STUPID WENCH!

NoName-chan: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I WAS GONE FOR FIVE MINUTES! WHAT HAPPENED?!

Ben-kun: Alcohol happened, Miss. Alcohol.

NoName-chan: THEY'RE DRUNK?! O.O

Ben-kun: I'm afraid so.

NoName-chan: *SIGH* GODDAMMIT, WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY IN THE BUDGET TO PAY OFF ALL THE DAMAGE THEY'LL CAUSE!

Ben-kun: Well, what do you propose we do, miss?

NoName-chan: *thinks about this and grins* Well, if we can't beat 'em, we might as well join them!

Ben-kun: *grins* HOORAY! I'll get the vodka!

NoName-chan: *hits Ben over the head with the shovel* NOT DRINKING, IDIOT! I'M UNDERAGE! I MEANT, THIS! *drags Ben onto the stage by the wrist* Let's sing, big bro~! ^^

Ben-kun: *smiles* Alright! ^^

NoName-chan: *grins and snatches the microphones from Kanda and Tyki before literally drop kicking them off the stage. Hands Ben a microphone*

Ben-kun: So what are we singing? ^^

NoName-chan: *grins* you'll figure it out pretty quickly~ *snaps fingers. Suddenly dressed like the girl in the PONPONPON music video*

Ben-kun: *suddenly dressed like the dancing lady in the background of the same video* O.O *smiles* wait, you mean we're singing...?

NoName-chan: *grins even more* Yup~! HIT IT, DJ!

DJ: Geez, no need to yell -.- *Hits it*

NoName-chan: *smiles and starts singing*

_"Ano kousaten de minna ga moshi SUKIPPU wo shite _

_moshi ano machi no mannaka de te wo tsunaide _

_sora wo miagetara moshi mo ano _

_machi no dokoka de CHANSU ga tsuka mitai no nara _

_mada naku no niwa hayai yo ne tada mae ni _

_susumu shikanai wa iya iya"_

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: *start doing the PONPONPON dance*

_"PON PON dashite shimaeba ii no _

_zenzen shinai no tsumaranai desho _

_HEADPHONE kakete RIZUMU ni nosete _

_WEI WEI akete atashi no michi wo _

_PON PON susumu iroiro na koto _

_DONDON kiiteru anata no kimochi _

_POIPOI suteru warui ko wa dare _

_sou sou ii ko ARE YOU MAKE ME HAPPY"_

NoName-chan:

_"EVERY DAY PON _

_EVERY TIME IS PON _

_MERRY-GO-ROUND noritai no _

_EVERY DAY PON _

_EVERY TIME IS PON _

_tabun sonna ja dame desho"_

NoName-chan and Ben-kun:

_"PON PON dashite shimaeba ii no _

_zenzen shinai no tsumaranai desho _

_HEADPHONE kakete RIZUMU ni nosete _

_WEI WEI akete atashi no michi wo"_

Ben-kun:

_"PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI"_

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: *start skipping around during the instrumental part. Do the weird clappy bread thing at the clappy part*

NoName-chan:

_"Ano kousaten de minna ga moshi SUKIPPU wo shite _

_moshi ano machi no mannaka de te wo tsunaide _

_sora wo miagetara moshi mo ano _

_machi no dokoka de CHANSU ga tsuka mitai no nara _

_mada naku no niwa hayai yo ne tada mae ni _

_susumu shikanai wa iya iya"_

NoName-chan and Ben-kun:

_"PON PON susumu iroiro na koto _

_DONDON kiiteru anata no kimochi _

_POIPOI suteru warui ko wa dare _

_sou sou ii ko ARE YOU MAKE ME HAPPY"_

NoName-chan:

_"EVERY DAY PON _

_EVERY TIME IS PON _

_MERRY-GO-ROUND noritai no _

_EVERY DAY PON _

_EVERY TIME IS PON _

_tabun sonna ja dame desho"_

Ben-kun:

_"PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI"_

NoName-chan and Ben-kun:

_"PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI"_

*song ends*

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: *suddenly back in our normal clothes. Grin and take a bow*

Road: *hollers at us drunkly* WOO HOO! AWESOME!

Allen: *claps and smiles at me suggestively*

NoName-chan's thoughts: _'Resist the urge to kill him resist the urge to kill him resist the urge to kill him'_

Lenalee: *grins and cheers*

Kanda: *claps and smiles sweetly*

Tyki: *claps and laughs*

Lavi: Che. *rolls his eye in annoyance*

Pineapplebombgirl: *cheers from her post at Lavi's leg*

NoName-chan: This is going to be fun~

*3 hours of mostly drunk karaoke, stripping, GoGo Dancing, Fangirling, Pretzels, and pranks courtesy of Allen and Lenalee later*

Road: *sitting at the bar, getting wasted*

Ben-kun: *dancing drunkly on some random stranger's table*

Allen: *Drunkly making out with Kanda*

Kanda: *Drunkly making out with Allen*

Tyki: *Drunkly cuddling out to Lavi*

Lavi: *Drunkly playing with Tyki's hair*

Lenalee: *laughing her ass off on the floor (how else?) drunkly*

NoName-chan: *pants* okay... I think... It's time to go back!

Pineapplebombgirl: *Is the only other sober person in our group due to legal drinking age-related complications. Looks up at me from Lavi's leg* Sounds good~! ^^

NoName-chan: Mmkay. OI, DRUNKEN IDIOTS! GO BACK TO THAT MOVIE SET WE WERE AT EARLIER!

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Tyki, Lenalee: KAYKAY~! *stumble out drunkly*

Lavi: *rolls eyes* Che. *leaves, dragging Pineapplebombgirl along with him*

NoName-chan: *looks at Road* OI, ROAD! WE NEED TO GO!

Road: *ignores me*

NoName-chan: *sighs and walks towards her*

Road: *sobbing* NO NEW NIGGAS, MAN! *Downs another shot* FUCK A FAKE FRIEND, WHERE ARE MY REAL FRIENDS AT?

NoName-chan: *Taps Road's shoulder* Road, we need to go.

Road: *snaps around to look at me, crying* WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS AT, NONAME-CHAN?!

NoName-chan: Road, they went back. Now, come on, you're drunk.

Road: I SWEAR TO DRUNK I'M NOT GOD, BUT I MAY OR MAY NOT BE 70% JESUS!

NoName-chan: *sigh* Road, we need to go back. *attempts to move Road*

Road: BITCH, *attempts to hold up one finger, but holds up four* WATCHA TRYIN TO MAKE ME DO?!

NoName-chan: *sigh* Road, I swear to god-

Road: BITCH, *throws head back dramatically* YA WANNA GO?!

NoName-chan: Oh my god...

Road: AKAKAKAKOW, MUTHAFUCKAH! *jumps up and kicks me in the face*

NoName-chan: OW! *holds face in agony* WHAT THE HELL, ROAD?!

Road: *loses balance and crashes into the bar. Groans in pain and rolls around slightly in the shards of broken beer bottles* WHY DO YOU LET ME DO THESE THINGS, NONAME-CHAN? *blacks out*

NoName-chan: *sighs and drags Road's unconscious body out of the restaurant*

*10 minutes later*

NoName-chan: *drags unconscious Road back onto the stage*

Pineapplebombgirl: *has actually let go of Lavi for once to eat a huge pile of pretzels that somehow got on the table*

Ben-kun and Lenalee: *laughing about something on the red couch*

Lavi: *sitting on the blue couch, looking annoyed* Che.

Tyki: *sitting on Lavi's lap, smiling at Allen and Kanda, who are sitting next to him and Lavi* You guys have such a strong relationship! How do you do it?

Allen: *smirks* Depends what you mean by "do it."

Tyki: *laughs girlishly and playfully slaps Allen's arm* You bitch, you~!

Allen: And speaking of doing it... *smirks at Kanda*

Kanda: *blushes madly*

Allen: *leads Kanda away to the nearest stage closet*

NoName-chan: *props Road up against the table and sighs angrily at Allen and Kanda* Goddammit, I JUST cleaned that closet!

*Loud moans are heard from the closet*

Ben-kun and Lenalee: *pause for a moment before laughing even louder*

Tyki: *smirks* oh. So THAT'S how. *flips over and straddles Lavi*

Lavi: *raises and eyebrow then smirks*

NoName-chan: *siiiiiigh* It's been a long night...

Pineapplebombgirl: *looks up from pretzel paradise and smiles* I thought it was fun~! ^^

NoName-chan: It was ^^ Just exhausting~ *collapses next to Ben-kun on the red couch*

Pineapplebombgirl: So, about when do you think the amnesia's going to wear off?

NoName-chan: *looks at watch* In about... 3... 2... 1

*silence for a few moments as the amnesia-victims regain their memories*

Allen and Kanda: *SCREAM*

Allen: *scrambles out of the closet, mostly naked, pale as paper and screaming in terror*

Kanda: *roaring in fury* MOYASHI! NONAME-CHAN!

NoName-chan: *grins* Well, they woke up~

Lavi: *looks up slowly to see Tyki. Eyes widen in horror*

Tyki: *eyes widen for a moment* ... AWESOME! *kisses Lavi*

Lavi: MMPH!

Tyki: *pulls back*

Lavi: *gasps for air* OHJESUSCHRISTWHATTHEFUCK

Tyki: *smirks and gets off him* That was awesome~

NoName-chan: *nosebleed* I'm glad you think so~

Lenalee: *looks around. Sees Lavi and Tyki. Sees Allen and Kanda. Passes out from nosebleed*

Ben-kun: *grins* Wow, that was one hell of a night~!

NoName-chan: *smirks* Trust me, I know~

Pineapplebombgirl: *glomps Lavi* YAY YOU'RE LAVI AGAIN~!

Lavi: *siiiiigh*

NoName-chan: Well, with all our memories regained, I guess that ends Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.5 of D Gray-Show~! Remember to send in your suggestions, questions, dares, tortures, and randomness, because if you don't, this entire Episode-Chapter-Thingy was entirely pointless, and I'll feel horrible! I'd also like to thank Pineapplebombgirl once again for sending in the suggestion for today's Episode-Chapter-Thingy, and in return I give her pretzels! *gives Pineapplebombgirl even more pretzels*

Pineapplebombgirl: *Squeals in joy and starts eating them*

NoName-chan: And finally, I'd like to thank everyone for watch-reading this~! Now, if that's all, then-

Allen and Kanda: *run at me, mostly naked* NONAME-CHAN!

NoName-chan: *SHRIEK* NAKED MEN! *runs for my life* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Allen and Kanda: *chase after me with their Innocence activated*

Ben-kun, Pineapplebombgirl, Lavi, Tyki: *end up being left alone with unconscious Road and Lenalee* ...

Pineapplebombgirl: ... *reattaches herself to Lavi's leg* ^^

Lavi: *sigh*

Tyki: You know, after all of this, I just realized something...

Ben-kun: And what would that be? ^^

Tyki: We never actually ate dinner...

_….._

**NoName-chan: I have a few Disclaimers for you!**

**1. All the drunk Road scenes were written by my best friend, Jen-chan, not me. She also wrote the Strawberry Daiquiri joke. Thank you, Jen-chaaaaan~! ^^**

**2. The song Ben-kun and I were singing was "PONPONPON" by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu. I do not own that either. I suggest that you go look up the music video on YouTube or something, though, that way you can visualize me and Ben-kun's karaoke scene better ^^**

**And I also put the original lyrics on the actual Episode-Chapter-Thingy. They are in Japanese, in case you haven't noticed.**

**If anyone's curious, this is the English Dub of the lyrics:**

**_"What if everyone around _**

**_Decided to go skipping all across the town?_**

**_And what if they collided in the city streets_**

**_And everyone held hands and looked up into the sky, now?_**

**_If everyone would look around from where they stand_**

**_And open up and learn to give and take a chance_**

**_Then that will be the hope to chase away my cries_**

**_So don't worry and move forward with your head held high, -igh -igh_**

**_PON PON set it free_**

**_C'mon, let the crazy show_**

**_Because if you don't_**

**_Life would be so dull, you know_**

**_Headphones on my ears_**

**_Rhythm's got me jammin' here_**

**_WAY WAY open road_**

**_Gotta make it on my own_**

**_PON PON can't you see_**

**_Boundless possibilities?_**

**_DON DON hear that beat?_**

**_Sounds like it's your heart to me_**

**_POI POI make a change_**

**_Throw bad history away_**

**_Slow and steadily_**

**_Ah-ah, you make me happy_**

**_Every day PON_**

**_Every time is PON_**

**_Jump on a carousel and don't let go_**

**_Every day PON_**

**_Every time is PON_**

**_We cannot stay like this, but even so_**

**_PON PON set it free_**

**_C'mon, let the crazy show_**

**_Because if you don't_**

**_Life would be so dull, you know_**

**_Headphones on my ears_**

**_Rhythm's got me jammin' here_**

**_WAY WAY open road_**

**_Gotta make it on my own_**

**_PONPON WAYWAYWAY PONPON WAY PON WAY PONPON_**

**_WAYWAY PONPONPON WAYWAY PON WAY PON WAYWAY_**

**_PONPON WAYWAYWAY PONPON WAY PON WAY PONPON_**

**_WAYWAY PONPONPON WAYWAY PON WAY PON WAYWAY_**

**_What if everyone around _**

**_Decided to go skipping all across the town?_**

**_And what if they collided in the city streets_**

**_And everyone held hands and looked up into the sky, now?_**

**_If everyone would look around from where they stand_**

**_And open up and learn to give and take a chance_**

**_Then that will be the hope to chase away my cries_**

**_So don't worry and move forward with your head held high, -igh -igh_**

**_PON PON can't you see_**

**_Boundless possibilities?_**

**_DON DON hear that beat?_**

**_Sounds like it's your heart to me_**

**_POI POI make a change_**

**_Throw bad history away_**

**_Slow and steadily_**

**_Ah-ah, you make me happy_**

**_Every day PON_**

**_Every time is PON_**

**_Jump on a carousel and don't let go_**

**_Every day PON_**

**_Every time is PON_**

**_We cannot stay like this, but even so_**

**_PONPON WAYWAYWAY PONPON WAY PON WAY PONPON_**

**_WAYWAY PONPONPON WAYWAY PON WAY PON WAYWAY_**

**_PONPON WAYWAYWAY PONPON WAY PON WAY PONPON_**

**_WAYWAY PONPONPON WAYWAY PON WAY PON WAYWAY_**

**_PONPON WAYWAYWAY PONPON WAY PON WAY PONPON_**

**_WAYWAY PONPONPON WAYWAY PON WAY PON WAYWAY_**

**_PONPON WAYWAYWAY PONPON WAY PON WAY PONPON_**

**_WAYWAY PONPONPON WAYWAY PON WAY PON WAYWAY."_**

**This has been NoName-chan. Over and out~**


	3. Chapter 2

**NoName-chan: Welp, as sad as it is, I still don't own DGM. Trust me, if I did, there would be a lot more Crack, Humor, Romance, and Shovels.  
Allen: Thank God you don't…  
NoName-chan: *Hits Allen over the head with my shovel* OH, SHUT UP! Oh, and I also don't own any of the songs that may or may not be in this Episode-Chapter-Thingy~! ^^**

**…**

*Horrible Game Show Intro runs its horrible course. We open up to the same stage setting as last time, with me and Ben on the red couch, the contestants on the blue couch, and a table in the middle*

NoName-chan: *grins* Welcome back for Episode-Chapter-Thingy 2 of D Gray-Show~! I'm your hostess, NoName-chan-

Kanda: They already know that, dipshit.

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* SHUT UP! Anyways, after receiving a total of two votes on the subject, I have decided to allow Ben-kun to continue hosting with me~! So, here's my Co-Host, Ben-kun~! *gestures to Ben*

Ben-kun: *smiles and waves*

NoName-chan: And here are our contestants that I'm not going to name because if you don't already know their names, you shouldn't be watch-reading this! *gestures to the people on the blue couch*

Lavi, Lenalee, Road: *smile and wave*

Kanda: *glares at everything*

Allen: *notices that Tyki's missing* Hey, where's Tyki?

NoName-chan: *finally notices that Tyki's not there* Huh... Good question...

Tyki: *rushes in panting* Sorry I'm late! I was dropping the Earl off at Soccer Practice, and- *makes eye contact with me*

NoName-chan and Tyki: *tense*

Lavi: What's wrong with them?

Road: That's... Actually a good question...

NoName-chan: We had a little... encounter last night that we'd both like to forget...

Tyki: *smirks* you looked really funny with white stuff all over your face, though.

Ben-kun, Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, Road: *gape* WHAT?!

NoName-chan and Tyki: *stare at them curiously* What?

Allen: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TYKI, SHE'S ONLY THIRTEEN! YOU'RE LIKE, FIFTY!

Tyki: FIFTY?!

Road: AHEM! We already discussed ages in the first Episode-Chapter-Thingy, so let's focus on the main topic here: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

NoName-chan: Well, you see...

_*Flashback*_

_Tyki: *back at the (now vacant) TV set at night because he forgot his cell phone or something, wandering through the halls in the dark*_

_NoName-chan: *walking down the hallway holding a few cookies and a glass of milk*_

_Tyki: *blindly runs into me, causing me to drop the cookies and splash the milk all over my face*_

_NoName-chan: *SHRIEK* MY COOKIES! *Starts swinging the shovel at Tyki* DIE, YOU BASTARD!_

_Tyki: *SCREAM. Runs for his life*_

_NoName-chan: *Chases him in fury*_

_*Flashback End*_

Allen: Wait, so you guys DIDN'T have drunk sex?

NoName-chan and Tyki: *Stare at Allen curiously* Of course not...

Ben-kun, Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, Road: *Sigh in relief*

NoName-chan: Um... Okay then... Anyways, the security guards eventually caught us, and that was a difficult situation to explain.

Tyki: Yeah. I mean, how do you explain a 13-year-old girl with milk all over her face and a deadly shovel in hand chasing a screaming 26-year-old man around the studio at 3 in the morning?

NoName-chan: The point is, it was really awkward and we'd rather just forget about it.

Lavi: Um... Sure. Just answer one more question: WHY THE HELL WERE YOU EATING MILK AND COOKIES ALONE IN THE STUDIO AT THREE IN THE MORNING?!

NoName-chan and Allen: Midnight snack, obviously.

Lavi: *sighs in defeat*

Kanda: Wait, why the hell did she come here for that?

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* BECAUSE I'M THE HOSTESS AND I DO WHAT I WANT, NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Ben-kun: My question is what kind of cookies were they and where can I get some? :3

NoName-chan: Chocolate chip, and *HIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS* STAY AWAY FROM MY COOKIES!

Allen: D-did she just hiss?

Lavi: Yup. That's the second time since this Show-Fanfiction-Thingy first aired.

Allen: I'm scared.

Lavi: Me, too.

Ben-kun: Rawr! :3

Allen: Is that "I love you" in dinosaur?

Ben-kun: Nope... Have you not seen Jurassic Park? It means "I'M GOING TO FUCKING EAT YOU!" :3

Allen: O_O

NoName-chan: *hits Allen over the head with the shovel* Honestly, Allen! How stupid are you?

Allen: ASDFGHJKL THAT FUCKING HURT!

NoName-chan: GOOD. Anyways, Ben-kun, you aren't going to eat us.

Ben-kun: And why not?

NoName-chan: Because I have THIS! *holds up my shovel*

Ben-kun: *YELP* Point taken!

NoName-chan: *grins* Good.

Tyki: Am I the only one who's a little bit concerned about the fact that he, an 18-year-old human, just threatened to EAT US?!

Allen: Of course we're concerned. But we also know that there's nothing he can do to hurt us.

Ben-kun: Is that so? *Gives Allen a taco and grins* Hey, Allen don't throw that taco on the ground... trust me X3

Allen: *shrugs and throws it on the ground*

Taco: OUCH! NoName-chan! DX

NoName-chan: *GASP* HOW DARE YOU ABUSE A PERFECTLY GOOD TACO?! *beats the shit out of Allen with my shovel*

Allen: I WAS WRONG! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I WAS WRONG!

Ben-kun: *smirks* Damn straight~! X3

Lavi: Am I the only one concerned that the taco was talking?...

Lenalee: ...

Lavi: *Sighs* I guess so.

Taco: In your face Lavi X3

Lavi: IT TALKED AGAIN!

NoName-chan: *hits Lavi over the head with the shovel* SHUT IT!

Lavi: B-but...

NoName-chan: *death glare*

Lavi: *whimpers*

Allen: Wait, hold on a second... WHAT WAS TYKI SAYING WHEN HE FIRST WALKED IN?

Tyki: That I was sorry for being late?

Allen: No, the other thing!

Tyki: That I was taking the Earl to Soccer Practice before I came here?

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee: THE EARL PLAYS SOCCER?! O.O

Road: Um, yeah. What's the big deal?

Lenalee: Well, um, nothing really... That just seems so unlikely, with his figure and all...

*ELSEWHERE*

Earl: *sobs* I'll never be a soccer star...

*BACK WITH THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE*

NoName-chan: Anyways, let's begin today with... The Dare Round~!

Allen: So we're skipping the Question Round again?

NoName-chan: yup! ^^

Ben-kun: Why? O.o

NoName-chan: *hits Ben over the head with the shovel* BECAUSE SHUT UP! Anyways, let's get started~! ^^ *slip of paper with the dare written on it appears in my hand* Okay, this one's for Kanda! It reads:

_"Kanda,  
I dare you to give up Mugen and replace it with safety scissors for the remainder of the Episode-Chapter-Thingy.  
~Magicsinger"_

Kanda: *gapes in horror*

Lenalee: Who's Magicsinger? O.o

NoName-chan: The first viewer to send in suggestions without me begging, that's who~! ^^ Now, Kanda?

Kanda: NO WAY IN HELL!

NoName-chan: *grins* Suit yourself~ *start beating him with the shovel*

Kanda: OW! OW! OKAY, OKAY! *gives me Mugen*

NoName-chan: *grins and gives Kanda a pair of safety scissors* Perfect~ *starts laughing evilly*

Kanda: *rolls eyes* Okay, whatever, have fun with my blood.

NoName-chan: HAHAHAHA- wait, what?

Kanda: Remember Chapter 208? Mugen's made of my blood, you dumbass.

NoName-chan: ... *licks Mugen's blade*

Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, Lavi, Tyki: O.O

Ben-kun: ...Does it taste like blood?

NoName-chan: Actually, yes! ^^

Kanda: IT DOES?! O_O

Road: Wait, hold on! Let me try! *takes Mugen and licks it* Hmmmm... Yeah she's right! It does!

Ben-kun: Really? I wanna try! *takes Mugen and licks it* WOW, IT DOES!

Kanda: *tick mark* GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD, YOU DIPSHITS! *swipes Mugen from Ben's hands*

NoName-chan: NOT UNTIL THE END OF THE DARE! *takes it back*

Kanda: *gives up and starts angrily muttering to himself*

Lavi: So, are we just completely ignoring the fact that they were just licking a katana made of Kanda's blood?

Lenalee: I guess so.

NoName-chan: Anyways, let's mix it up and do Lenalee's dare next~! *piece up paper materializes in my hand* Alright, it reads:

_"Lenalee,  
I dare you to tell everyone about your secret life~  
~Road"_

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, Tyki: *stare at Road* ...

Road: *nonchalantly sitting*

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, Tyki: IT'S FROM YOU?

Road: Duh.

Allen: SINCE WHEN ARE WE ALLOWED TO SUBMIT DARES?!

NoName-chan: YOU aren't. But Road and Lenalee are.

Lavi: Are you sexist or something?

NoName-chan: A little bit~ I just tend to get along with girls better than guys.

Ben-kun: WHAT ABOUT ME?! D':

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the was with the shovel* YOU'RE THE EXCEPTION, NOW SHUT IT! Anyways, Lenalee?

Lenalee: *shrugs* I guess I'll have to reveal my secret sooner or later... The truth is, I have a secret life. *deep breath* I am Ronald McDonald.

Allen, Lavi, Kanda: We know -.-

Lenalee: *gasps* HOW?!

Kanda: *holds up a newspaper*

Lenalee: *reads it* um... Okay?

Lavi: *rolls eyes* Seriously? The headline is "Ronald McDonald Kicks Fat Guy Through Window With Fiery Boots." It wasn't that hard to guess.

Lenalee: Oh...

NoName-chan: Okay, now... Allen~! *slip of paper appears in my hand* It reads:

_"Moyashi,  
I dare you to legally change your name to Moyashi.  
~Kanda"_

Allen: *gapes in horror*

Lavi: Wait, I thought you said that Road and Lenalee were the only contestants allowed to submit suggestions! Why does Yuu-chan get to?!

Kanda: DON'T CALL ME THAT! *tries to stab Lavi with safety scissors, but fails*

Lavi: *grins* YUU-CHAN CAN'T IMPALE ME~! *glomps Kanda*

Kanda: WHAT THE-?! GET OFF, YOU DAMN RABBIT!

Lavi: NEVER!

Tyki: Wait, why IS Kanda allowed to submit dares?

NoName-chan: *tick mark* HE ISN'T! *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel*

Lavi: *gets hit in the face in the process and goes flying into the wall* OW! WHY'D YOU HIT ME?!

NoName-chan: BECAUSE YOU WERE IN THE WAY, AND YOU PROBABLY DESERVED IT! Anyways, Kanda isn't allowed to submit anything! So, Allen, congrats. You're off the hook for this one.

Allen: WOO HOO~!

Kanda: *growls in frustration*

NoName-chan: Now, let's try this AGAIN, shall we? *another slip of paper appears in my hand* This one reads:

_"Beansprout,  
I dare you to not complain about being called a beansprout for the rest of the Episode. If you complain, you get hit with the shovel.  
~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Allen: *gapes in horror again*

Kanda: ... HA!

NoName-chan: *sweat drops* Wow, apparently Allen is destined to be called Beansprout today... *shrugs* Whatever! You heard the lady, Moyashi!

Allen: *weeps*

NoName-chan: Right, next dare~! This one's for... Tyki! *slip of paper appears in my hand* It reads:

_"Oi, Pervert,  
I dare you to play with Road.  
~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Tyki: *gapes in horror* W-WHAT?

Kanda: *pats Tyki's back sympathetically* Good luck. You'll need it.

Road: *grins* HOORAY~! Let's go, Pervy! *drags Tyki out of the room*

Tyki: *cries and screams for help*

Anybody that could possibly help Tyki: *ignores*

NoName-chan: Right... Next! Lavi~! *slip of paper appears in my hand* It reads:

_"Bunny-boy,  
I dare you to call Yuu-chan girly.  
~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Lavi: *gapes*

Lenalee: Geez, how many suggestions did myangelicladyofdarkness submit? O.o

NoName-chan: A lot. And for that, I'm forever grateful ^^ Anyways, Lavi?

Kanda: *glares at Lavi* Don't you fucking dare.

NoName-chan: Lavi, do it or face my wrath *holds up shovel*

Lavi's thoughts: _'Hm... What's worse: facing the wrath of Yuu-chan or NoName-chan?...'_

Lavi: ... Yuu-chan, you're girly~

Kanda: WHY YOU LITTLE-

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU TO MAUL LAVI! MOVING ON! Next Dare's, of course, for Road~! ^^

Lenalee: But she's not here...

NoName-chan: Don't worry, she will be~! ^^

Lenalee: How do you know? O.o

NoName-chan: Because I can do this: *grins* ROAD~! PEOPLE ARE DYING~!

Road: *bursts into the room dragging a horrified Tyki, who's dressed up like a ballerina* SOMEONE'S DYING?! WHERE?!

NoName-chan: Sorry, Road! Nobody is yet! You just need to do your dare~! ^^;;;

Road: Oh, okay. Lay it on me~

Tyki: That's what she sai-

NoName-chan: *his Tyki over the head with the shovel* NO PERVINESS!

Tyki: OW!

NoName-chan: Anyways, *grins. Slip of paper appears in my hand* it reads:

_"Road,  
I dare you to destroy one of your Blackmail tapes.  
~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Road: ... WHAT?!

NoName-chan: *crying* NO! OUR PRECIOUS BLACKMAIL!

Lenalee: It's okay, guys! I made copies of all the tapes! ^^

NoName-chan and Road: *immediately calm down* Really? Okay then!

Road: *smashes a tape labeled "Allen Shower Singing Blackmail: Volume 1"*

NoName-chan: Alright~! That concludes the Dare Round~! ^^ Now, to mix it up, let's go ahead and do the Torture Round~!

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Tyki: *GROAN*

NoName-chan: Alright, first up for the Wheel of Torture will be... ALLEN~!

Allen: *sighs and spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds piece of paper* Alright, Allen, your torture is...

_"Be locked in a room alone with NoName-chan for 10 minutes."_

Allen: *gapes* THE HORROR!

Lavi: Who wrote THAT?

NoName-chan: That's... Actually a good question. But, I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS DIPSHIT FOR 10 MINUTES! KANDA, SAVE ME! I'M TIRED FROM A LACK OF SLEEP DUE TO HAVING TO CHASE TYKI ALL NIGHT! T_T

Kanda: Che. I don't care.

NoName-chan: And I'm sore from cheer practice! T_T

Kanda: I still don't give a shit.

NoName-chan: And I still haven't found a place to hide the body! T_T

Kanda: I don't car- Wait, WHAT?!

NoName-chan: Nothing~

Ben-kun: Aww, NoName-chan~! If you're tired, just take your energy pills~ ^^

NoName-chan: I can't! I've already taken my prescribed dose for today! T_T

Ben-kun: OH NO! THE PLAN IS RUINED! D:

NoName-chan: Not quite yet, Ben-kun! I still have my secret weapon... *holds up a Diet Coke*

Ben-kun: *eyes widen* B-but NoName-chan, that's too much power! 0.0

NoName-chan: Don't worry! I can handle it... I think! *chugs the Diet Coke*

Ben-kun: YOU THINK?! *shakes head* This might end badly...

NoName-chan: *starts shaking uncontrollably* I-I FEEL... *starts bouncing of the walls* WOO HOO~!

Ben-kun: And it begins... 0.0 CURSE YOU, DIET COKE! DX

NoName-chan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! I BET I CAN EAT THIS WHOLE SANDWICH! *holds up a sandwich and throws it at Ben's face* HAHAHA SANDWICH FACE! OMG I SHOULD TOTALLY GO START A BUSINESS! A FISHING BUSINESS! I'LL GO GET THE HARPOONS~! *starts running away* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!

Ben-kun: *Wipes the sandwich off his face and stares at me* Really!? O.0

NoName-chan: HARPOONS~! IMPALING FISH~! *sprints toward the door*

Ben-kun: SOMEBODY STOP HER, QUICK! O.O

Kanda: Che. *grabs me by the back of the neck and throws me into a small empty room and closes the door*

Ben-kun: *sighs in relief*

Lavi: Wait... What just happened?

Ben-kun: She drank a Diet Coke.

Lavi: Well, yeah, but why did she spaz out like that?

Ben-kun: Diet Coke has caffeine in it.

Lavi: And?

Ben-kun: She has a very low tolerance for caffeine and sugar.

Jen-chan: *appears out of nowhere* Yeah, once I was at her house while she was making a cake, and she ate half a teaspoon of frosting. She was bouncing off the walls for 20 minutes. The worst part is, we were in the kitchen and she was right next to a set of steak knives...

Lavi: O_O

Kanda: Wait, wait, hold on! Who the hell are you?

Jen-chan: I'm Jen-chan. I'm another one of NoName-chan's best friends. I'm here to fill in for her as hostess while she's on her sugar high.

Ben-kun: WHAT?! I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO FILL IN FOR HER!

Jen-chan: Originally, you were. But after the first Episode-Chapter-Thingy, she gave me a call and told me that I'd be filling in instead. Something about you not understanding the difference between a dare and a question? I dunno.

Ben-kun: THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT! DX

Jen-chan: I DON'T CARE! Anyways, I don't watch-read this Show-Fanfiction-Thingy, so what are we supposed to be doing?

Ben-kun: Huh? Oh yeah! *grins* Allen has to stay in that room with NoName-chan for 10 minutes.

Allen: *gapes* YOU'RE STILL GONNA MAKE ME GO IN THERE?!

Ben-kun: Duh. :3 Now, GO! *pushes Allen into the NoName-chan Cage Room and closes the door*

Tyki: So how long do you think he's gonna last in there?

Road: He'll be lucky if he reaches 2 minutes...

_*10 seconds later*_

Allen: *comes running back onto the stage. There's a large bruise on his face and he looks like he's seen a ghost* GUYS, NONAME-CHAN'S GONE.

Ben-kun, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: WHAT?!

Jen-chan and Kanda: I don't care.

Road: What do you mean, she's GONE?!

Allen: I MEAN, I was pushed into the room, I looked at NoName-chan, she grinned, hit me in the face with her shovel, and JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW INTO THE STREETS!

Ben-kun, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: WHAT?!

Lenalee: Is she okay?!

Allen: I HAVE NO IDEA! All I know is that she jumped, and I ran to you guys!

Lavi: Wait, aren't we on, like, the 20th floor?! SHE'S PROBABLY DEAD!

Jen-chan: LOL.

Tyki: You know, for somebody that's supposed to be her best friend, you're incredibly mean to her.

Jen-chan: *smirks* I know. But I think she's annoying and the only reason that we're even still friends is because we both know too much. I would gladly shove her off a cliff into shark-infested waters without a second thought.

Ben-kun, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *gape in horror*

Kanda: ... Will you marry me?

Jen-chan: And get mauled to death by thousands of fangirls? FUCK NO.

Road: GUYS. WE'RE GETTING OFF TOPIC. First things first, we need to find out if NoName-chan is even alive. So let's go out and look for her, alright?

Ben-kun, Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *nod in agreement* okay!

Jen-chan: You guys have fun with that. I'm going to stay here with Kanda and plot people's deaths.

Road: *shrugs* Suit yourself.

Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *sprint out of the room*

Allen: *starts to head towards the door*

Ben-kun: *stops him by grabbing his shoulder* Hey, Allen?

Allen: *looks at Ben* Yeah?

Ben-kun: *holds up a butcher knife* If anything bad happens to NoName-chan, I'll hold you responsible, and I WILL kill you. Got it? Good. *Leaves room*

Allen: *gapes in horror* WHAT THE HELL?!

Road: Oh yeah, that... Well, you see, even though she abuses him CONSTANTLY, Ben-kun has a bit of a sister complex over NoName-chan whenever she's hurt. He isn't a scientist like Komui, so he won't build any giant robots, but he has other ways of showing his brotherly love. Many of those ways involving some sort of knife or other sharp object.

Allen: *shivers*

Road: Anyways, let's go! *leaves room with Allen*

Jen-chan: Alright, they're gone. So who is it you need help killing?

Kanda: That stupid rabbit, Lavi. And it's not so much the killing that's the problem as it is hiding the body.

Jen-chan: Don't worry, I watch Criminal Minds. I can help. *grins*

Kanda: Good. *grins*

*OUTSIDE THE BUILDING*

Lavi: So how do we figure out where NoName-chan landed?

Allen: *points at a large crater-like indent on a nearby sidewalk* That's probably it...

Lenalee: Well, if that's where she landed, then considering the fact that there's no blood or body, I'd say that she survived.

Ben-kun, Allen, Road: *sigh in relief*

Lavi: Wait, if that's where she landed, then where is she now?

Tyki: And is she okay? I mean, did she break any bones or have to go to the ER or something?

*My loud laughter is heard echoing from a distance*

Lenalee: Um, yeah, I think she's fine. As to finding out where she is, let's all split up to look for her. Meet back up here in an hour, okay?

Ben-kun, Allen, Lavi, Road, Tyki: *nod in agreement and all take off in different directions*

_*1 hour later*_

Ben-kun: *bursts into the stage room carrying an unconscious me*

Jen-chan and Kanda: *quickly hide their murder plans* WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING.

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *run into the room shortly after*

Jen-chan: So, how'd it go?

Road: NoName-chan somehow survived the fall without any injuries-

Jen-chan: Damn it.

Road: -She then ran around town causing a lot of caffeine-induced havoc. We all split up to find her, and eventually, Ben-kun did.

Jen-chan: Wow. *looks at Ben* How'd you do it?

Ben-kun: *smiles* As NoName-chan's big brotherly figure, I knew the one thing I could lure her in with; the one thing she couldn't resist no matter what.

Jen-chan: And what was that?

Ben-kun: *holds up a taco* A Taco.

Jen-chan: Um... Okay then... So why is she unconscious?

Ben-kun: *smiles lovingly* She got all tuckered out~ ^^

NoName-chan: *snores softly, snuggling up to Ben's chest*

Ben-kun: D'AAAAWWWWW she's the cutest little sister ever~! X3 Especially when she's sleeping. She's all calm and peaceful, and-

NoName-chan: *eyes suddenly shoot wide open* NO ONE SEES THE WIZARD! *Punches Ben in the face*

Ben-kun: *drops me* OW! DX

NoName-chan: Eh? What happened? The last thing I remember is drinking a Diet Coke, and- *sees Jen-chan* JEN-CHAN~!

Jen-chan: Oh shit...

NoName-chan: *glomps Jen-chan* OMG JEN-CHAN IT'S YOU I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN SO LONG HOW ARE YOU DOING OMGOMGOMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE PLEASE STAY WITH ME FOREVER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH~!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *gape in shock* WHAT THE HELL?!

Road: Calm down, this is perfectly normal. NoName-chan just tends to get a bit hyper when Jen-chan's around, so random outbursts like this are common.

Jen-chan: *pries me off of her* FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU SAW ME YESTERDAY, I'M THE SAME AS I ALWAYS AM, I'M ONLY HERE BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO STEP IN FOR YOU IF NECESSARY, I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR SO YOU CAN SEE ME ANY TIME YOU WANT, AND JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I DO NOT LOVE YOU!

NoName-chan: *reglomps Jen-chan* OH, JEN-CHAN~!

Tyki: Isn't this a Show-Fanfiction-Thingy? Why are we wasting time like this?

NoName-chan: *suddenly snaps back into hostess mode* You're right! Jen-chan, get the fuck out.

Jen-chan: Gladly. *looks at Kanda one last time, silently mouthing the words "Call me and we'll continue"

Kanda: *nods his head in agreement*

Jen-chan: *leaves*

NoName-chan: Alright, so how did Allen's torture go?

Road: He was in there for about 10 seconds before he ran back out panicking because you had apparently hit him with your shovel and jumped out the window. Then we embarked on a search for you, and Ben-kun managed to lure you back with a Taco.

NoName-chan: WOW. *Grins* That was one hell of a sugar high~! XD But, in other words, Allen still hasn't completed his torture?

Road: Nope.

NoName-chan: *sadistic grin* Well, then, come along Allen~

Allen: *whimpers*

Lavi: Wait, if Ben-kun has a sister complex, doesn't that mean...?

Ben-kun: *enters Komui mode* NONAME-CHAN! DX

NoName-chan: Oh shit.

Ben-kun: *Hugs me tightly* DON'T GO WITH ALLEN! STAY HERE! DX

NoName-chan: *pries him off* No, I've got to do the torture!

Ben-kun: *Cries and hugs my leg tightly* NOOO...LET ROAD DO IT INSTEAD! DX

NoName-chan: *tries to walk, but is dragging him along* I have to go, and that's FINAL!

Ben-kun: *Drags on the floor but is still holding tight* NOOO I WON'T LET YOU!

NoName-chan: WHY NOT?!

Ben-kun: BECAUSE HE'S PROBABLY A PERVERT AND WILL TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU-

Allen: EW

Lavi: Can I reiterate the point that she's THIRTEEN?!

Ben-kun: -AND YOU COULD GET HURT! DX

NoName-chan: How? Allen can't hurt me. I have a shovel.

Allen: The fact that she has that shovel is enough to make me too afraid to even TRY.

Lavi and Tyki: Same here.

Kanda: Che. I'm not afraid.

NoName-chan: Liar -.-

Kanda: I'M NOT!

NoName-chan: Oh really? *holds up shovel*

Kanda: *YELP. Hides behind Lenalee*

NoName-chan: *smirks* That's what I thought.

Ben-kun: *Lets me go and tries not to cry* O-okay... just promise me you won't get hurt, alright?

NoName-chan: Don't worry, the only one who's going to get hurt here is Allen *sadistic grin*

Road: *Smiles* She makes me so proud~! :')

Ben-kun: *tears up happily* Me, too~! :')

NoName-chan: *Drags Allen into the NoName-chan Cage Room*

Allen: *screams for help*

NoName-chan: *slowly closes the door with a Cheshire cat grin*

Lenalee: Um... COMMERCIALS!

Random Camera Guy: I'm on it!

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN*_

"COPIES OF THE DESTROYED BLACKMAIL TAPE~!" *Road and NoName-chan order*

"LAVI BAIT~!" *Pineapplebombgirl orders*

"FASHIONABLE SCARVES~!" *Tyki orders*

"SHOVELS~!" *NoName-chan orders*

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END*_

*we open back up to our wonderful set. Allen and I are back on our respective couches along with everyone else, me grinning and Allen shaking in terror*

NoName-chan: *grins* AND WE'RE BACK~! Anyways, let's continue the torture round! Next up is... Kanda~!

Kanda: Che. *spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds the paper* Alright, your torture is:

_"Be called Yuu-chan for 24 hours without complaining."_

Kanda: *eyes widen*

Lenalee: Who wrote THAT? O.o

NoName-chan: myangelicladyofdarkness, of course ;D

Lavi: *grins* YAYZ~! *glomps Kanda* YUU-CHAN~!

Kanda: *pushes Lavi away* DON'T CALL ME THA-

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* NO COMPLAINING!

Kanda: ASDFGHJKLFFUU$& UAGAHAUAIGAJIAGSLD?/!

NoName-chan: Moving on~! Next will be... Tyki~!

Tyki: *smiles fabulously and spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds paper* Alright, Tyki, your torture is:

_"Be locked in a room with Jasdevi, Road, myangelicladyofdarkness, and several sharp objects for 3 hours."_

Tyki: *gapes in pure horror*

Ben-kun: *raises an eyebrow* Who wrote that? O.o

NoName-chan: *grins* myangelicladyofdarkness, of course.

Tyki: *whimpers*

Random Audience Member: TYKI, STOP SHAKING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!

NoName-chan: *grins* You're really in for it now, Tyki. But, don't worry! ^^ We'll do that dare after the Episode-Chapter-Thingy is over because we don't have 3 hours to spare! So, Tyki, your safe(ish) for now~

Tyki: *cheers in joy*

NoName-chan: *hits Tyki over the head with the shovel* ZIP IT! Anyways, moving on~! ^^ Next will be... Lavi~!

Lavi: *spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds the paper* Alright, Lavi, yours reads:

_"Bunny-boy has to go out on a date with Pineapplebombgirl (kissing included. You're welcome, Pineapple.)"_

Lavi: *eyes widen in horror*

Pineapplebombgirl: *squeals in pure joy from somewhere in the audience*

Lenalee: Who wrote tha-

NoName-chan: myangelicladyofdarkness ^^

Lenalee: Right, right...

NoName-chan: Anyways, LAVI! PIÑA! YOU HAVE A DATE TONIGHT!

Pineapplebombgirl: HOORAY~! :D THANK YOU SO MUCH, MYANGELICLADYOFDARKNESS~!

Lavi: Oh no... T.T

NoName-chan: Moving on~ Next, let's have... Lenalee~!

Lenalee: *spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds the paper*

Alright, it reads-

Usagi-Twins: WAIT! Since this is going to be ours, can we say it?

NoName-chan: Sure~! ^^

Allen: Wait, how did they know it's be theirs-

NoName-chan: *hits Allen over the head with the shovel* SHUT UP!

Usagi-Twins: *walks onto the stage* In case you guy don't already know, our names are Candy and Choco.

Choco: This Torture is from me. Lenalee, spend 24 hours locked in a soundproof room with Komui.

Lenalee: *pales* Oh no...

NoName-chan: *grins* Oh yes~! However, since this is a time-consuming torture, we'll save it 'til after the show! Thanks for helping, Candy and Choco~! ^^

Usagi-Twins: No problem~! *sit back down*

NoName-chan: Alright, finally, Road~! ^^

Road: *grins and spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds the paper* Okay, it reads:

_"LEAVE ALLEN ALONE FOR ETERNITY!"_

Road: *narrows eyes* Who the hell wrote that?

NoName-chan: Lucy Moon-Walker. Don't worry, though! Eternity is a REALLY long time, and REALLY-long-term tortures like this are bad for ratings, so I'm going to change "Eternity" to a month, 'Kay? ^^

Road: WOOT~!

NoName-chan: Anyways, that concludes the Torture Round~! Ben-kun, which Round should we do next? ^^

Ben-kun: How about... The Question Round~! B|

NoName-chan: B|

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: AAAAWWWW YEAH~!

Allen: What the-?

NoName-chan: *hits Allen over the head with the shovel* SHUT IT, BEANSPROUT.

Allen: *whimpers*

NoName-chan: Anyways, let's start with... Lenalee~! ^^ *slip of paper appears in my hand* Your question reads:

_"Lenalee,  
What are your favorite DGM Yaoi pairings?  
~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Lenalee and Road: *grin*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: OH DEAR GOD...

Tyki: ... So what are they?

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *give Tyki a "WTF?" stare*

Lenalee: Well, I'm particularly fond of Yullen and Laven, but I also like LaviYuu a lot! ^^

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *gape in horror*

Tyki: ... OH MY GOD... THIS IS HORRIBLE!

Allen: *sighs in relief* FINALLY, Tyki's seeing reason-

Tyki: I'M NOT IN ANY OF THOSE PAIRINGS!

Allen: *sweat drops* I spoke too soon...

Lenalee: *shrugs* Whatever.

Road: I like Yullen and Laven, but LaviYuu is just horrible, Lena!

Ben-kun: *rolls eyes at Road* You're only saying that because Beansprout isn't in it.

Road: *chuckles* Guilty as charged~

NoName-chan: Well, I personally like all 3 of those pairings, but I like Laven and LaviYuu better than Yullen just because Yullen is a bit overused. Plus I can't imagine it ever truly working out for real.

Lenalee: *nods her head* True. Plus-

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: CAN WE JUST MOVE ON ALREADY?!

NoName-chan: *hits all 3 of them over the head with the shovel* NO YELLING! But, yes, we can~! ^^ *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for Road~! It reads:

_"Road,  
How do I wash blood out of fabric? I got Tyki's blood all over my clothes when I beat him half to death with that shovel during Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.  
~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Road: *grins* To answer your question, myangelicladyofdarkness, the best way to wash Tyki's blood out of clothes is with a new detergent I invented called "Tyki Blood Remover." You can order over the phone or online~!

NoName-chan: I might have to look that up, too, Road! Anyways, *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for Yuu-chan! It reads:

_"Yuu-chan!  
Would you cut your hair if you were dying and the only way to save yourself was to cut your hair?  
~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Kanda: *tick mark* DON'T CALL ME BY THAT NAM-

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with the shovel* JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!

Kanda: CHE. Yes, fine, I would cut my hair to save my life.

NoName-chan: Super! MOVING ON! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for Beansprout~! It reads:

_"Dear Allen,  
How did you survive Cross?! He's evil! And Tyki, too!  
~Lucy Moon-Walker"_

Allen: Well, to answer your question, I barely survived either of those. I consider myself lucky to have made it alive this long!

NoName-chan: Heartwarming. NEXT~! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for Lavi~! It reads:

_"Lavi,  
Why do all of your commands include "growing" or "extending"?  
~Lucy Moon-Walker"_

Lavi: *grins* Well, -

NoName-chan: *hits Lavi over the head with the shovel* NO PERVERTEDNESS!

Lavi: GEEZ, fine! Those are simply the commands that work with my Anti-Akuma weapon.

NoName-chan: Wonderful! *Slip of paper appears in my hand* Now, finally, this ones for Tyki~! It reads-

Usagi-Twins: *jump up from the audience again* WAIT! Can we say this one too?

NoName-chan: *shrugs* I don't see why not.

Usagi-Twins: *smile* Awesome! *walk on stage*

Candy: This question is from me. Tyki, *looks at him* Why do you always come across as a rapist, pedo, jerk, etc.?

Tyki: *shrugs* um... I dunno?

Random Audience Member: It's because he is one!

NoName-chan: *shouts back at the audience member* I agree!

Ben-kun: NONAME ELIZABETH KANDA! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO STRANGERS!

NoName-chan: *hits Ben-kun over the head with the shovel* And I said SHUT UP!

Allen: Wait... NoName Elizabeth KANDA?! Is that her full name? O.O

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Road: Duh.

Lavi: Wait... Does that mean...

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *sudden realization. Look at my hands*

NoName-chan: *wearing a diamond ring on my left ring finger*

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: OH MY GOD!

NoName-chan: What?

Tyki: YOU'RE MARRIED?!

NoName-chan: Yup.

Lavi: *stares at Kanda* YOU PEDO!

Kanda: *stares at Lavi quizzically* What the hell are you talking about?

Lavi: YOU'RE MARRIED TO NONAME-CHAN!

Allen: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, KANDA!

Tyki: I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!

Lenalee: *freezes at Tyki's exclamation and gets a nosebleed*

Lavi: HOW COULD YOU MARRY A 13-YEAR-OLD?! ESPECIALLY HER!

NoName-chan and Kanda: We're not married, you dipshits.

Lavi: AND THEN- wait, what? You're not?

Kanda: *rolls eyes* Of course not! She's annoying!

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* I AM NOT! And, no. I'm not married to Kanda.

Allen: BUT... BUT... THE RING! YOUR LAST NAME! HOW ARE YOU NOT-?!

NoName-chan: Kanda's my cousin, dumbass.

Allen, Lavi, Tyki: WHAT?!

NoName-chan: *rolls eyes* Duh. Before he became a test tube baby, Kanda was originally another person. In his past life, he had a father, who had a brother, who had a daughter. And here I am.

Lavi: But, wait, if you're not married to Kanda, then who are you married to?

NoName-chan: Him~! *points to a seat in the audience*

Allen, Lavi, Tyki: *look where I'm pointing to find a taco placed on a seat*

Tyki: ...A taco? You're married to a taco?

NoName-chan: *beams* Not just any taco!

Taco: Hi, NoName-chan~! ^^

Lavi: *pales*

Allen: Wait, what?

Lavi: She's married to the talking taco from earlier...

NoName-chan: *smirks* You're damn right I am! Oh, and even though today's Question Round is over, I want to include one more Question today that isn't for any of you!

Lenalee: Really? Who's it for? O.o

NoName-chan: *grins and takes out my phone. Dials a number*

_*Ringing*_

_"Hello?"_

NoName-chan: Hey, Komui~! It's NoName-chan! I'm on DGS right now, and someone sent in a Question for you!

_"Really? Okay, what is it?"_

NoName-chan: *pulls out a slip of paper* It reads:

_"Komui,  
Can I have a Komurin...? Or if not, can I have your coffee cup...? :D  
~Slaythevampire87"_

_"Well, sure! You can have a Komurin! Just drop by my office any time to get it! But not my coffee cup. It was given to me by my darling LENALEE~!"_

NoName-chan: Wonderful! *hangs up phone* Well, you heard him, Slaythevampire87!

*MEANWHILE IN KOMUI'S OFFICE*

Komui: *staring at the recently hung of phone* Well then...

Slaythevampire87: *bursts into the room* WHERE'S MY KOMURIN?!

Komui: *SCREAM. Jumps two feet in the air in surprise*

*BACK WITH THE CAST*

NoName-chan: Alright, onto the Random Round~! *the random box full of Popsicle sticks appears on my lap* Alright, let's start with... Allen! *picks a random Popsicle stick and reads it. Grins* Looks like you got a Combo Dare!

Allen: *looks at me confusedly* What's a "Combo Dare"?

NoName-chan: It means that this is for two people rather than one!

Allen: *pales* Uh oh...

Road: *grins* So who's the other person?

NoName-chan: This dare is for both Allen and Kanda~!

Allen and Kanda: WHAT?!

NoName-chan: *ignores them* It reads:

_"Allen and Kanda,  
I dare you both to sing a duet, like "The Onion Song."  
~Magicsinger"_

Allen and Kanda: *gape in shock and horror*

NoName-chan: Well, you heard the lady! *table becomes a risen platform* NOW GET UP THERE OR FACE MY WRATH!

Allen and Kanda: *YELP. Climb onto the stage*

NoName-chan: *hands them both microphones* Here ya go~! ^^ Now, DJ, HIT IT~!

_*music starts*_

Allen and Kanda: *sigh and start singing* "_The world is just a great big onion_

Allen: _And pain and fear are the spices that make you cry_

Allen and Kanda:_ Oh, and the only way to get rid of this great big onion_

Kanda: _Is to plant love seeds until it dies, uh huh_

Allen: _Hey world! We got a great big job to do_

_Yeah, we need you_

_And everybody who loves truth_

_Don't you know we've got to clean up this place_

_and reach far and high oh yeah_

Kanda: _Yes we do_

_We gotta be headstrong about rightin' the wrong_

_And make a mountain of happy souls, oh _

Allen:_ Oh_

Allen and Kanda: _The world is just a great big onion_

Allen: _And I don't care, it's the face people like to wear_

Kanda: _Yes it is now_

Allen and Kanda: _And the only way to get rid of this great big onion_

Kanda: _Every one single soul's got to do their share_

Allen: _Tell about it, baby!_

_So come on, let's knock on every door_

_Tell them love is the answer_

_Whether they're rich or poor, oh yeah_

_For we don't care what you do_

_How you look, or your status claim, baby_

Kanda: _No no, because brothers and sisters_

_From now on, is gonna be everyone's name, oh oh_

Allen and Kanda: _The world is just a great big onion_

Allen: _And pain and fear are the spices that make you cry_

Kanda: _Yes it is_

Allen and Kanda: _And the only way to get rid of this great big onion_

Kanda:_ Is to plant love seeds_

Allen: _Now everybody, got to plant love seeds_

Kanda: _Come on and plant love seeds_

Allen: _Until it dies_

Allen and Kanda: _The world is just a great big onion"_

_*song ends*_

NoName-chan: *wipes away tears and claps* So beautiful~!

Allen and Kanda: *glare at me*

NoName-chan: *suddenly stops crying* Anyways, we've gotta move on, so BITCHES, GET OFF DA STAGE!

Allen and Kanda: *hop down*

*stage goes back to being a table*

NoName-chan: Now, let's move on: Yuu-chan~!

Kanda: *gapes* WHAT?! I JUST DID-

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* AND THAT WAS ALLEN'S RANDOMNESS, AND THIS IS YOURS, NOW SHUT UP! Anyways, *picks out a Popsicle stick* Your randomness is... Another Dare~! It reads:

_"Kanda,  
I dare you to dress up as your true gender- a girl- for a year.  
~Lucy Moon-Walker"_

Kanda: WHAT THE FU-?!

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* NO COMPLAINING! Now, sorry 'bout 'cha, but you're going to be dressed as a girl for the next year or until somebody cancels it out-

Road: *whispering* NOBODY CANCEL IT OUT! NOBODY CANCEL IT OUT!

NoName-chan: -so, Lucy Moon-Walker, mind coming up here and showing us what you want him to wear today? :D

Lucy Moon-Walker: *grins and walks onto the stage* Why, of course! *holds up a randomly appearing sundress* How about this?

NoName-chan: BEAUTIFUL~! Well, Yuu-chan?

Kanda: *snatches the dress from her and stomps off, muttering under his breath*

NoName-chan: Okay~! ^^ Who should go next~?

Ben-kun: How about our sweet Lena-lady? :3

NoName-chan: Sure~! ^^ Lenalee, *picks out a Popsicle stick* your randomness is... Another Dare~! It reads:

_"Lenalee,  
I dare you to dye your hair pink and dress as a hooker for a month. Komui can't say anything.  
~Lucy Moon-Walker."_

Lenalee: *eyes widen at Lucy*

Ben-kun and Tyki: ... YES!

NoName-chan: *hits them both over the head with the shovel* NO PERVERTEDNESS! Anyways, GEEZ PEOPLE! What is it with you and the super long dead lines? XD

Lucy Moon-Walker: It makes things interesting! XD

NoName-chan: Oh, that makes sense! Alright, well, you heard the woman, Lenalee! You've got a dare to do!

Lenalee: *sighs and leaves the room*

NoName-chan: Okay, moving on~! Let's do... Lavi~! *picks up a Popsicle stick* Alright, Lavi, your Randomness is... *eyes widen considerably*

Lavi: *gulps* W-what?

NoName-chan:

_"Lavi,  
Let Tyki rape you.  
~Lucy Moon-Walker."_

Lavi: *GAPE*

NoName-chan: Wow... O.O *grins at Lucy* I didn't know you wanted Fanservice so badly!

Lucy Moon-Walker: *tick mark* I DON'T! HE JUST DESERVES IT!

NoName-chan: *squeaks in fear* Y-yes, ma'am! 0.0;;; *grins* Well, Lavi, Tyki, off to the Rape Room you go~!

Tyki: *grins* AWESOME~! *drags Lavi out of the room*

Lavi: *thrashes and screams for help*

Ben-kun: *looks at me* Rape Room? You have one of those? O.O

NoName-chan: You'd be surprised how handy it can be... Anyways, while Tyki gives it to Lavi, next Randomness~! Road, since you and Tyki are the only ones left to do this and Tyki's a bit preoccupied, let's go to you~! *picks a Popsicle stick* Your Randomness is... A Double Question~!

Road: A Double Question? What's that?

NoName-chan: Oh, all that means is that you have two questions to answer instead of one! ^^ Here's your first question:

_"Road,  
WHY ARE YOU SO EVIL?! You say you love Allen, but why I'd you poke his eye out with one of your pointy candles?!  
~Lucy Moon-Walker"_

Allen: 0.0 ...Does Lucy hate Road or something?...

NoName-chan: Kind of, but she mostly just loves you~! ^^

Allen: *smiles at Lucy* Why thank you~~~

Lucy Moon-Walker: *smiles and hugs Allen* Anything for you, cutey~!

NoName-chan: Yeah, yeah, 'Kay, Road?

Road: *grins* Well to answer your Questions, Lucy, I'm not evil. I'm sadistic. There's a difference~ And I stabbed Allen's eye out before I loved him~

Allen: *shudders at the memory*

Random Audience Member: *cough*Ormaybeshe'sjustbipolar*cough*

Lucy Moon-Walker: *tick mark. Glares at Road* I WOULDN'T BUY THAT IN A MILLION YEARS! YA WANNA GO, YOU BITCH?!

Road: BRING IT-

NoName-chan: We're on a time limit right now, so save it for later, Ladies~! Now, for Road's other question~! It reads:

_"Dear Road,  
Where do you get your clothes? I absolutely love them! :D  
~Slaythevampire87"_

Road: *grins* Why thank you~! The Earl made them for me, but I'm sure he'd make you some, too, if you ask.

*MEANWHILE AT THE BLACK ARK*

Millennium Earl: *calmly sitting with Lulubell on his lap in cat form*

_*Doorbell rings*_

Earl: Hm? Who's that?

Lulubell: *changes into human form and walks towards the door* I got it. *opens door* Hello, how can I help yo-

Slaythevampire87: *pushes Lulubell out of the way* MOVE! *launches herself at the Earl* MAKE ME SOME CLOTHES!

Earl: 0.0 ... *shrugs* Sure.

Slaythevampire87: *leaps in joy*

*BACK AT THE SHOW*

NoName-chan: Okay, next, let's-

Kanda: *slams the door open and storms in, dressed in a yellow sundress with cherry blossoms on it and white ballet flats*

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Road: *gape*

NoName-chan: Jesus Christ, Yuu-chan, easy on the door...

Road: *squeals* HE'S SO PRETTY~!

Ben-kun: *gaping at Kanda* Wow... 0.0

Allen: *starts snickering*

Kanda: *gives Allen a death glare*

Allen: *shuts up*

Lucy Moon-Walker: *gives Kanda a death glare* DON'T GLARE AT ALLEN.

Kanda: *pales and stops glaring*

NoName-chan: Okay, okay, now sit down, Yuu-chan, so I can tell you what you missed.

Kanda: Che. *sits down in his rightful place on the blue couch*

NoName-chan: Okay, so here's what you missed in a nutshell: Road answered hate mail, Tyki's raping Lavi-

Kanda: *eyes widen* WHAT?!

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* SHUT UP, I WASN'T FINISHED! Anyways, and Lenalee was dared to-

Lenalee: *slams door open and walks in with Hooker clothes and pink hair*

Allen and Kanda: *gape*

NoName-chan: OH MY FUCKING GOD, AGAIN WITH THE DOOR!

Ben-kun: *nosebleed*

Road: ... *laughs*

Lucy Moon-Walker: *nods approvingly*

Lenalee: *sighs and sits down on the blue couch* So what'd I miss?

NoName-chan: *EXASPERATED SIGH* Road answered hate mail, Kanda got back with his dress, and Tyki's-

Tyki: *slams door open with a crying Lavi slung over his shoulder*

NoName-chan: IF YOU ASSHOLES BREAK MY GODDAMN DOOR, I'M GONNA BE PISSED!

Tyki: THE DEED IS DONE~! *grins*

Lavi: *sobs*

Lenalee: *raises an eyebrow* What deed?

Lucy Moon-Walker: *grins*

NoName-chan: Tyki raped Lavi.

Lenalee: *eyes widen. NOSEBLEED*

NoName-chan: Alrighty then. Tyki, just put Lavi anywhere.

Tyki: 'Kay. *props Lavi up against the table and sits down*

NoName-chan: Okay, now it's time for out final Randomness of the day: Tyki~! *picks out a Popsicle stick* Alright, you've got... *laughs* OH, THIS IS AWESOME! XD

Allen: What is it?

NoName-chan:

_"Tyki,  
Host one of your fashion shows ;D  
~Pineapplebombgirl"_

Tyki: *squeals in joy* OMGOMGOMGOMG~!

Pineapplebombgirl: *walks onto the stage, smiling and holding a bunch of clothes* I even designed a collection for you, Tyki! ^^

Tyki: *squeals again and glomps Pineapplebombgirl* THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU~! *takes the clothes and sprints out of the room*

Allen, Kanda, Lenalee: ...

Ben-kun: ... *starts laughing with me*

Road: *grins and takes out her Blackmail Camera*

Lavi: *still too traumatized to say anything*

NoName-chan: *grins and snaps fingers*

Stage: *suddenly transforms into a fashion show setup with Ben, our contestants, Lucy, and Pineapplebombgirl sitting in front of the risen runway and the audience sitting in their seats behind them.*

_*music starts playing*_

NoName-chan: *sitting in the announcers spot with a microphone. Grins* Welcome one and all to today's Fashion Show~! Today, we will be presenting you with a brand new style designed by Pineapplebombgirl and worn by our top model, Tyki Mikk~!

_*Applause*_

NoName-chan: Now, without further ado, I present you with our new collection, "The Fabulous Kitty Boy"~! First up, we have... The Summer Style~!

Tyki: *sashays onto the stage wearing a fashionable pair of jean booty shorts, a white tank top with Hello Kitty on it, hot pink stiletto heels, a bandana that wraps up his hair, and a pair old lady sunglasses with a huge smile. Strikes a couple poses at the front of the stage before doing a fashionista twirl and walking back and off the runway backstage*

Ben-kun, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: *gape*

Road: *laughing ass off*

Allen: OH GOD MY VIRGIN EYES!

Lucy Moon-Walker: It's okay, Allen! I'll protect you! *glomps him*

Pineapplebombgirl: So photogenic~!

NoName-chan: *grins* Next, we have... The Winter Style~!

Tyki: *repeats the modeling process wearing a Banana Republic teal pea coat with a black scarf, white faded jeans, a pair of fabulous rainbow polka dot rain boots, and a black beanie hat with Hello Kitty print*

Ben-kun, Kanda, Lavi: *still gaping*

Lenalee: Wow, I positively LOVE those boots~!

Pineapplebombgirl: *smiles* Why, thank you~!

Road: *ROFLing*

Allen: *sobbing into Lucy's shoulder*

Lucy Moon-Walker: *holding him protectively*

NoName-chan: Up next, we have... The Prom Style~!

Tyki: *repeats the process again wearing a VERY frilly and sparkly hot pink dress that is accented with a purple sash, goes down to his feet, and has a sweetheart neckline, black high heels, a crystal tiara, a pearl necklace and earrings, and a purple "Prom Queen" award sash while carrying a beautiful bouquet of red roses*

NoName-chan: *wipes tears* So beautiful~!

Pineapplebombgirl: *wipes tears as well* He's such a beautiful princess!

Ben-kun, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: *giving us a "WTF?" stare*

Road: *still ROFLing*

Allen: *has finally stopped crying* Um... Lucy, you can let go now...

Lucy Moon-Walker: *still clinging to Allen* NEVER!

NoName-chan: Next, we have... The Schoolgirl Style~!

Tyki: *once again repeats the process wearing a black mini skirt with a tucked in white shirt, a teal bowtie, a black suit jacket to go over, knee-high socks, and hot pink ballet flats with Hello Kitty on them*

Ben-kun and Kanda: *STILL gaping*

Lavi: I'm starting to think that Hello Kitty is a major theme here...

Pineapplebombgirl: It is ^^

Lenalee: I like his skirt~! ^^

Road: *You can probably already guess what she's doing*

Allen: *has given up trying to persuade Lucy to let go and is hugging her back*

Lucy Moon-Walker: *in her happy place*

NoName-chan: Next up, we have... The Bikini Style~!

Tyki: *repeats the process wearing a teal colored bikini with white vertical stripes, a string-bikini top with a ruffled front, and booty shorts-styled bottoms, all made by Abercrombie, and flip flops with the same design and creator*

Allen: *starts crying into Lucy's shoulder again*

Lucy Moon-Walker: *continues holding him*

Lavi: Hey, there wasn't any Hello Kitty in this one!

Pineapplebombgirl: There wasn't any in The Prom Style either ^^;;;

Ben-kun and Kanda: *GapeGapeGapeGapeGapeGapeGape*

Road: *Lololololololol*

NoName-chan: Next in our collection, we have... The Pajama Style~! :D

Tyki: *repeats the modeling process again wearing teal Footsie pajamas with hello kitty all over them and padding on the bottom of the feet. Carrying a stuffed animal of Hello Kitty eating a pretzel*

Ben-kun and Kanda: *still have not moved*

Lavi: ...Why was Hello Kitty eating a pretzel? O.o

Pineapplebombgirl: Because PRETZELS~! :D

Lenalee: D'aaawwwww so cute~! ^^

Road: *Take a wild guess what's going on with her -.-*

Allen and Lucy Moon-Walker: *still hugging*

NoName-chan: And, now, for our Finale~! For the final piece of The Fabulous Kitty Boy Collection, we have... THE UNDERWEAR STYLE~!

Tyki: *repeats the modeling process one last time wearing a lacy hot pink bra with small black bows, lacy black panties with hello kitty and gold fringe on them, and gold stilettos*

Ben-kun, Lavi, Kanda: *eyes are so wide, people are surprised they haven't popped yet*

Lenalee: *NOSEBLEED*

Road: ... *snorts and bursts out in laughter even more intense than the previous outbursts*

Lucy Moon-Walker: 0_0 *holds Allen even more protectively than before*

Allen: *staring blankly off into space* No words can truly explain the horrors I just witnessed...

Pineapplebombgirl: Tee hee! XD

NoName-chan: And that concludes our Fashion Show, everybody~! *snaps fingers*

Stage: *returns to its normal setup*

Tyki: *suddenly back in his suit on his respective couch*

Pineapplebombgirl: XD THAT WAS AWESOME!

NoName-chan and Road: WE KNOW! XD

Tyki: Hey, Piña, can I keep the outfits...? :D

Pineapplebombgirl: Of course! ^^

Tyki: YAYZ~!

NoName-chan: Okay, now that that's over, let's get to Yuu-chan's other dare~! ^^

Kanda: WHAT?!

NoName-chan: Oh, I didn't tell you? Your randomness included two dares!

Kanda: OH HELL NO! *attempts to impale me with the safety scissors and fails* ...SHIT.

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* BITCH, SIT DOWN!

Kanda: ASDFGHJKL?/!#% *sits down*

NoName-chan: Anyways, Yuu-chan, your dare reads:

_"Kanda,  
I dare you to skip around Allen while throwing flower petals and singing the My Little Pony theme song.  
~Slaythevampire87"_

Kanda: *gapes*

Road: *laughs ass off*

NoName-chan: *grins* Well, Yuu-chan, you heard the woman! *hands Kanda a basket of flower petals* Now, GO~!

Kanda: *tick mark* CHE. *starts skipping around Allen and throwing handfuls of flower petals*

_"My Little Pony, My Little Pony_

_Aaaaaaaaaaaah _

_My Little Pony_

_I used to wonder what friendship could be_

_Until you all shared its magic with me!_

_Big adventure!_

_Tons of fun!_

_A beautiful heart_

_Faithful and strong_

_Sharing kindness_

_It's an easy feat_

_And magic makes it all complete!_

_My Little Pony_

_Did you know, you are my very best friends!"_

Allen and Lavi: ... *laugh asses off*

Kanda: *glares at them and sits down*

NoName-chan: *trying to hide my chuckles and failing* Well, that concludes the Random Round~! Next, it's time for... Authoress's Choice~! *grins*

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Tyki, Lenalee: *pale* OH GOD...

Road: *grins* BRING IT!

NoName-chan: *grins* Oh, I intend to~!

Ben-kun: *eyes widen at my expression* Oh god... I know THAT look... 0.0

Allen: *trembles* W-what look...?

Ben-kun: The look that tells us she has something big already planned for everyone.

NoName-chan: *grins* And indeed I do~! But, first, *looks at Lucy* I'm gonna have to tie you up. *tackles Lucy and ties her up*

Lucy Moon-Walker: *screams furiously* WHAT THE HELL?!

NoName-chan: Sorry, Lucy, but you're probably going to kill me and Piña for this, and that's bad for ratings. Anyways, today's Authoress's Choice is for all of or contestants~! Our lovely Pineapplebombgirl actually came up with this!

Pineapplebombgirl: *grins* Wait, you mean it's...?

NoName-chan: *grins* Yup~! Today, my choice is... AN EATING CONTEST~!

Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *stare at me questioningly*

Allen: ... YES~!

NoName-chan: Oh, don't get your hopes up just yet. *grins* The way this is going to work is that everybody is going to be blindfolded. Each round, a different dish of my choice will be set in front of you. You guys will have to eat all of whatever it is AND keep it down. After that, you'll have to guess what it was! If anybody fails to eat the whole dish, throws up, or can't guess what it is, they're out and get hit with the shovel! Last person still in wins!

Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *gape*

Allen and Road: *grin* Bring it~!

NoName-chan: *grins* Gladly~ Ben-kun, Piña, mind getting the stuff ready?

Ben-kun and Pineapplebombgirl: *salute* WE'RE ON IT!

_*5 minutes later*_

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *sitting in chairs at a long Pie-Eating-Contest-style white table, each blindfolded with a fork in front of them*

Ben-kun and Pineapplebombgirl: *set covered plates in front of each of them*

NoName-chan: *grins* Round 1! Begin in 3... 2... 1! GO!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *manage to pull the covering off their food and start eating*

NoName-chan: *grins and gestures to a large projector that's projecting the words "ROUND 1: Raw Horseradish" on the wall behind the contestants*

Allen: *eats the whole dish in record time with little to no reaction*

Kanda: *eats the whole dish slowly, making a disgusted face the whole time*

Lenalee: *eats the whole dish shakily, gagging a few times, but not throwing up*

Road: *eats the dish relatively quickly with a slightly grossed out face*

Tyki: *barely manages to choke the dish down, coughing harshly several times*

Lavi: *about to eat the dish, but seemingly remembers something and throws up before even touching it for He-Was-Raped-By-Tyki-Twenty-Minutes-Ago -related reasons*

NoName-chan: LAVI'S OUT! *Hits Lavi over the head with the shovel*

Lavi: *GROAN*

NoName-chan: Okay, guys, Ben-kun's going to walk around to each of you, and when he does, quietly tell him what you think the dish was so people around you don't steal your answer! ^^

Ben-kun: *walks to Allen*

Allen: *easily replies* Horseradish.

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Kanda*

Kanda: *still making a face* Horseradish.

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Lenalee*

Lenalee: *looking a bit green* H-Horseradish, I think...

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Road*

Road: *nonchalant* Horseradish.

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Tyki*

Tyki: *still coughing madly* H-Horseradish...

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^

NoName-chan: And the answer was... Horseradish! Now, onto Round 2!

Ben-kun and Pineapplebombgirl: *set new dishes in front of the contestants*

NoName-chan: 3... 2... 1! BEGIN!

Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *start eating*

NoName-chan: *gestures to the projection again, this time it reading "ROUND 2: Black Licorice"*

Allen and Road: *finish quickly with no reaction*

Kanda: *finishes the same way he did the Horseradish*

Tyki: *turns a bit green, but manages to finish*

Lenalee: *slowly eats the dish, gagging several times, but puts it down halfway through* I-I can't do it...

NoName-chan: LENALEE'S OUT! Sorry 'bout this, Lena! *hits her over the head with the shovel* Now, guys, same thing as last time! Ben-kun?

Ben-kun: Of course! ^^ *walks to Allen*

Allen: *another easy reply* Black Licorice.

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Kanda*

Kanda: *still making that face* Black Licorice...

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Road*

Road: Black Licorice *makes a face* Bleh! What a terrible candy!

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Tyki*

Tyki: *beginning to turn green again* B-Black Licorice...

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^

NoName-chan: And the answer was... Black Licorice~! Now, Round 3~! ^^

Ben-kun and Pineapplebombgirl: *set new dishes in front of the contestants*

NoName-chan: 3... 2... 1! GO, MOTHERFUCKERS, GO!

Allen, Kanda, Road, Tyki: *start eating*

NoName-chan: *gestures to the wall again, the projection now saying "ROUND 3: Beansprouts!"

Allen: *eats quickly, looking incredibly pissed off*

Kanda: *eats at a normal pace, chuckling to himself the whole time*

Road: *Eats quickly with a slight grin*

Tyki: *eats with a confused look on his face*

NoName-chan: Alright, guys, same as before! Ben-kun?

Ben-kun: I'm on it! ^^ *walks to Allen*

Allen: *tick mark* Beansprouts. You guys are assholes.

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Kanda*

Kanda: *smirks* Moyashis.

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Road*

Road: *laughs* Beansprouts!

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Tyki*

Tyki: *looks uneasy* U-um... Shredded Lettuce maybe?

Ben-kun: INCORRECT!

NoName-chan: TYKI'S OUT! *hits Tyki over the head with the shovel*

Tyki: OW!

NoName-chan: The correct answer was Beansprouts! Onto Round 4!

Ben-kun and Pineapplebombgirl: *set new dishes in front of the contestants*

NoName-chan: 3... 2- Oh, fuck this shit, just GO!

Allen, Kanda, Road: *start eating*

NoName-chan: *points at wall, which now says "ROUND 4: Fresh Goose Liver"

Allen: *quickly eats with only a slight face*

Road: *quickly eats in a similar manner to Allen*

Kanda: *takes one bite and immediately spits it out* OKAY, NO! I'M NOT EATING THIS!

NoName-chan: YUU-CHAN'S OUT! *his Kanda over the head with the shovel*

Kanda: ASDFGHJKL/?!$#%

NoName-chan: Well, you guys know what to do! Ben-kun?

Ben-kun: On it! ^^ *walks to Allen*

Allen: Fresh Goose Liver... *makes a disgusted face*

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Road*

Road: Definitely Fresh Goose Liver...

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^

NoName-chan: The correct answer was... Fresh Goose Liver~! Alright, guys, FINAL ROUND~!

Ben-kun and Pineapplebombgirl: *set dishes in front of the final 2*

NoName-chan: No countdown! BEGIN!

Allen and Road: *start eating*

NoName-chan: *points at the projection, which says "FINAL ROUND: Year-old-pepperoni and moldy goat cheese pizza with dry cat food sprinkles"

Allen and Road: *both finish quickly with grossed out expressions*

NoName-chan: Alrighty~! Ben-kun?

Ben-kun: Yup! ^^ *walks to Allen*

Allen: Year-old-pepperoni and moldy goat cheese pizza with dry cat food sprinkles...

Ben-kun: Correct! ^^ *walks to Road*

Road: Year-old-pepperoni and moldy cow cheese pizza with dry cat food sprinkles...

Ben-kun: Sorry, Road! Wrong type of cheese! INCORRECT!

NoName-chan: ROAD'S OUT! The correct answer was: Year-old-pepperoni and moldy goat cheese pizza with dry cat food sprinkles!

Road: *throws hands up in anger* AW, I KNEW IT WAS GOAT CHEESE!

NoName-chan: Either way, Allen wins! ^^

Allen: Um, great but... Aren't you going to hit Road with the shovel?

NoName-chan: ... Nah.

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Tyki: WHAT?! BUT YOU HIT US! WHY NOT ROAD OR LENALEE?!

NoName-chan: HEY, I DID HIT LENALEE!

Kanda: BARELY! SHE DIDN'T EVEN FLINCH! MEANWHILE, WE ALL HAVE BRUISES AND PROBABLY CRACKED SKULLS!

NoName-chan: OH, SHUT UP! I DO WHAT I WANT!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *steaming with rage at me*

NoName-chan and Road: *laugh in their faces*

Lavi: *LIGHTBULB. Grins and uses my moment of uncontrollable laughter to steal my shovel*

NoName-chan: *stops laughing and eyes shoot wide* M-MY SHOVEL!

Lavi: *grins triumphantly* What are you gonna do now that you can't beat us to death?

NoName-chan: *pales*

Allen: DESTROY IT!

Kanda: KILL HER!

Tyki: BEAT HER WITH HER OWN SHOVEL!

Lavi: Hm... All good suggestions...

NoName-chan: *whimpers* G-GIVE IT BACK!

Lavi: Or what?

NoName-chan: *deep breath* I didn't want it to come to this, but I guess I have no choice... *puts on a flawless façade of innocence along with a kicked puppy look and some tears*

Lavi: ...What is she doing?

Ben-kun: *pales* OH, YOU'RE IN FOR IT NOW.

Lavi: Still, what is she doing?

Ben-kun: Even though NoName-chan is cruel, sadistic, torturous, and beyond abusive, she has a secret weapon... She has the ability to make her evil aura disappear and replace it with one of pure innocence.

Lavi: ...And?

Ben-kun: LOOK AT HER! SHE LOOKS LIKE A FRIGHTENED 4-YEAR-OLD!

Lavi: *looks at me*

NoName-chan: *looking innocent, hurt, betrayed, and overall...*

Lavi: AAAAWWWW! SHE'S TOO ADORABLE, I CAN'T STAY MAD AT HER! I'M SO SORRY, NONAME-CHAN! I WON'T DO ANYTHING MEAN TO YOU EVER AGAIN! I PROMISE!

NoName-chan: *suddenly back to normal. Smirks* That's what I thought. NOW GIVE ME BACK MY SHOVEL!

Allen, Kanda, Tyki: GODDAMN IT, LAVI!

Lavi: *shakes out of his trance* SHIT! Can you at least do SOMETHING to earn it back?

NoName-chan: *considers this and grins* Sure. As a treat for both you guys and the fabulous viewers~ Ben-kun, I'm gonna need your help.

Ben-kun: ...What do I have to do?

NoName-chan: *grins* Oh, you'll figure it out quickly. Now, *gestures to the table, with is now a risen platform* Let's go~ *drags Ben up onto the platform with me*

Kanda: I have a bad feeling about this...

Road and Lenalee: *grin and hold up video cameras* This is gonna be awesome...

NoName-chan: *hands Ben a magically-appearing microphone and holds up one of my own* Alright, TURN ON THE MUSIC!

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Tyki: *pale when they realize what song is playing*

Road and Lenalee: *start laughing*

Ben-kun: *smiles*

NoName-chan: *grins and starts singing* _"We wonder, are you ready to join us now?_

_Hands in the air, we will show you how_

_Come and try, Caramell will be your guide~_

Ben-kun: *grins as well and starts singing* _So come on move your hips_

_Singing woa-oa-oa!_

_Look at youtube clips do it oh-la-la!_

_You and me, can sing this melody!_

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: _Owa-o-wa-wao!_

*start doing the CaramellDansen*

_Dance to the beat, wave your hands together_

_Come feel the heat, forever and forever_

_Listen and learn, it is time for prancing_

_Now we are here, with Caramell Dancing~!_

NoName-chan: _Oo-oo-owa-owa!_

_Oo-oo-owa-owa-a-a!_

Ben-kun: _Oo-oo-owa-owa!_

_Oo-oo-owa-owa-a-a!_

NoName-chan: _From Sweden to UK, we will bring our song_

_Australia, USA, and people at Hong Kong_

_They have heard, this means all around the world~_

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: _Owa-owa-ao!_

Ben-kun: _So come on move your hips, _

_Singing Woa-oa-oa!_

_Look at youtube clips_

_Do it la-la-la!_

_You and me, can sing this melody!_

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: _So come and dance to the beat, wave your hands together_

_Come feel the heat, forever and forever_

_Listen and learn, it is time for prancing, _

_Now we are here, with Caramell Dancing~!_

_Dance to the beat, wave your hands together_

_Come feel the heat, forever and forever_

_Listen and learn, it is time for prancing_

_Now we are here, with Caramell Dancing~!_

NoName-chan: _Oo-oo-owa-owa!_

_Oo-oo-owa-owa-a-a!_

Ben-kun: _Oo-oo-owa-owa!_

_Oo-oo-owa-owa-a-a!_

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: _So come and dance to the beat, wave your hands together_

_Come feel the heat, forever and forever_

_Listen and learn, it is time for prancing _

_Now we are here, with Caramell Dancing~!_

_Dance to the beat, wave your hands together_

_Come feel the heat, forever and forever_

_Listen and learn, it is time for prancing _

_Now we are here, with Caramell Dancing~!"_

_*song ends*_

Road and Lenalee: *roll on the floor laughing*

Allen, Kanda, Tyki: *gape*

Lavi: *facepalms*

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: *grin and take a bow*

NoName-chan: *magically appears next to Lavi* NOW GIVE ME BACK MY SHOVEL! *kicks him in the face and snatches my shovel*

Lavi: OOOOWWWW! *holds his face in pain*

NoName-chan: *smirks like a badass* NOBODY messes with NoName-chan~

Kanda: HOLD ON, if you could just do that, then why didn't you do it before rather than go through all this trouble?

NoName-chan: ...

Allen: *sudden realization* OH MY GOD...

Tyki: What?

Allen: SHE PLANNED THIS WHOLE THING!

Lavi, Kanda, Tyki: *gape* WHAT?!

Allen: SHE KNEW FROM THE START THAT LAVI WOULD GIVE IN TO HER INNOCENT FAÇADE AND LET HER SING CARAMELLDANSEN WITH BEN-KUN!

NoName-chan: *smirks* Oh please, it goes WAY further than that! I've been planning all of this since the beginning of the Episode-Chapter-Thingy.

Lavi: HOW?! O.o

NoName-chan: Lavi, do you honestly think that I'd be dumb enough to have my guard down so much that you could just take my shovel? HELL NO. I let you take it! I was also able to predict all of your actions from there beforehand, so all I had to do was act~

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Tyki: *gape*

Ben-kun: *laughs* Wow! XD

Road and Lenalee: *STILL laughing*

Lavi: AND THEM, THEY'VE BEEN LAUGHING THIS WHOLE TIME! W-WERE THEY IN ON THIS?

Road and Lenalee: Duh.

Ben-kun: Wait, why wasn't I in on it? O.o

NoName-chan: BECAUSE YOU WOULD'VE EITHER FUCKED UP YOUR LINES OR MADE IT TOO OBVIOUS. It was easier to just leave you ignorant~

Ben-kun: O.O

Allen: Okay, hold on, I have one more question: WHY DID YOU EVEN DO THIS?!

NoName-chan: Because I felt like dancing, and when I feel like dancing, Ben-kun feels like dancing, so together, we both felt like dancing~

Ben-kun: *grins* True~ X3

NoName-chan: Now, time for me to do what I've been wanting to do for the past 10 minutes~ *grins*

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Tyki: *pale*

NoName-chan: *starts beating the shit out of them with my shovel* Never. EVER. Defy. Me. GOT IT?!

Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Tyki: *cry out in pain* YES, MA'AM!

NoName-chan: Oh, there was another reason for this, too. *looks at the audience* I wanted to let you guys all know that from now on, you guys have the option to send Questions, Dares, Tortures, and other suggestions to me and Ben-kun, too! Yup, fire away! However, since we're hosting this thing, we'll have the option to deny your suggestions towards us. Basically, all that means is that we will NOT answer to something like "DIE, BEN-KUN, DIE!", 'Kay? ;D

Allen: Um... That's nice, but don't we have a viewer to untie?

NoName-chan: *pales* Oh shit... *walks over to one VERY pissed Lucy and gulps* Well, guys. It was nice knowing you... *unties Lucy*

Lucy Moon-Walker: *grins evilly and takes out her Monkey Stick and cursed sword*

NoName-chan: *YELP*

Lenalee: HOLY SHIT, COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Random Camera Guy: I'M ON IT!

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN*_

"ROAD'S TYKI BLOOD REMOVER~!" *myangelicladyofdarkness and NoName-chan order*

"MONKEY STICKS~!" *Lucy orders*

"MONKEY STICK WOUND HEALER~!" *NoName-chan orders*

"SHOVELS~!" *NoName-chan orders*

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END*_

*We return to our set once again. I am laying on the ground, broken and bloody, Ben-kun is freaking the fuck out over me, Lucy is smirking and polishing her Cursed Sword, Road is shrieking at her, and Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Tyki are gaping over the entire situation*

Ben-kun: *WAILS* WAAAAAHHHH! MY POOR BABY SISTER! WHY?! T.T

NoName-chan: *sits up slowly* Nah, it's okay, Ben-kun... I knew I had that one coming...

Lucy Moon-Walker: *smirks* Damn straight.

Road: THE HELL?!

Lucy Moon-Walker: *glares at Road* Oh, calm down, she knew what to expect for harming Allen and tying me up!

NoName-chan: Yup... ^^;;;; Anyways, I think I'm about to die of blood loss, so can we go back to commercial break?

Camera Guy: Yup!

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN*_

"YUU-CHAN TRANQUILIZER~!" *Allen orders*

"KOMURIN~!" *Slaythevampire87 orders*

"MONKEY STICKS TO BEAT NONAME-CHAN WITH~!" *Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Tyki order* *OUT OF STOCK*

"EVEN MORE SHOVELS~!" *NoName-chan orders*

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END*_

*we return to the set, where Lucy has apparently decided to go back to her seat in the audience, and the cast is sitting on their respective couches, staring at me as I laugh my ass off and look at my phone with several casts and bandages on my body*

NoName-chan: *wheezing from laughter*

Allen: Jesus fucking Christ, what's wrong with you? O.O

NoName-chan: THIS... *wheeze* FANFICTION... *wheeze* I'M... *wheeze* READING! *wheeze mixed with laughter* SO... *wheeze* DAMN... *wheeze* FUNNY!

Kanda: Wait... Fanfiction? OH SHIT...

Lavi: What's it abo- MMPH?!

Kanda: *slapped a hand over his mouth*

NoName-chan: What was he asking?

Kanda: NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL!

Tyki: I think he was about to ask "what's it about?", actually.

Kanda: *glares murderously at Tyki*

NoName-chan: OOOOH~! Well, it's this one smut fic about a threesome between Allen, Lavi, and Kanda, and-

Allen: OH GOD MY VIRGIN EARS! MAKE IT STOP!

Lenalee: *already has a nosebleed* No, no, keep going!

Kanda: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE! *pulls out the safety scissors*

Lavi: *finally free of Kanda's silencing* I was in it? HOT!

Allen and Kanda: *glare at Lavi*

NoName-chan: -it was really funny because Allen and Kanda were exchanging their usual smartass remarks the whole time, and-

Allen: *covers ears* LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

NoName-chan: *hits Allen over the head with the shovel* -it turned out that the entire Order could hear it all the whole time, and Lenalee went all fangirl, and Bak broke out in hives, and Komui cried for Lenalee, and Fou laughed her ass off, and-

Lavi: WHERE WAS I IN ALL OF THIS?! T_T

Kanda: WHY IS THAT YOUR MAIN CONCERN HERE?!

NoName-chan: -and Lavi was just being his normal idiotic self!

*ELSEWHERE*

Everybody in the Order who's watch-reading except Fou: *gape in shock and horror*

Fou: *laughing her ass off*

*BACK WITH THE MAIN FOCUS*

Lavi: ...Was I at least hot?

NoName-chan: *Rape Face (also known as Tyki Grin)* Very.

Lavi: SWEET!

Allen: So... Wait... Kanda and I were arguing while we...?

NoName-chan: Yup! And it was a threesome so Lavi was in on it with you guys!

Allen: I... *runs to nearest trash can and throws up*

Kanda: *exasperated sigh* and THIS is why I tried to avoid this topic.

Road and Ben-kun: *laughing their asses off*

Lenalee: *(where else?) unconscious from nosebleed*

Road: What was it called? XD

NoName-chan: "Challenged Pleasure" by Angel Fantasy (seriously, go read it. It's hilarious! XD But don't if graphic smut bothers you)

Allen: *sighs* Can we wrap this up already?

NoName-chan: Yeah, sure! ^^ Anyways, thank you all for all of your fabulous support and suggestions for today's Episode-Chapter-Thingy~! After Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.5, the suggestions started coming in so quickly that I couldn't even use all of them! But I tried to use at least a few from each person! ^^ I'm glad you guys like this show-fanfiction-thingy, and I hope you'll continue watch-reading it! :D Please continue sending in your suggestions for us so I can write Episode-Chapter-Thingy 3 soon! ^^ Oh, and one more thing: BEN-KUN FINALLY MADE A ACCOUNT~!

Ben-kun: Yup~! ^^

NoName-chan: He has yet to write any stories, and he doesn't even have a bio, but he still has PMing and stuff, so yeah! Mind telling them your Account Name, Ben-kun~? ^^

Ben-kun: *smiles* Not at all~! ^^ It's " .1257"

*silence*

NoName-chan: *hits Ben over the head with the shovel*

Ben-kun: OW! DX What was that for?! T.T

NoName-chan: YOU PUT YOUR FULL NAME AS YOUR ACCOUNT NAME?!

Ben-kun: I'M SORRY! DX

NoName-chan: *facepalm* And with that, I conclude today's Episode-Chapter-Thingy. So, Tyki, it's time to go complete your Toture!

myangelicladyofdarkness, Road, and Jasdevi: *grin and drag Tyki away to the Tyki Torture Room*

Tyki: *screams for help*

NoName-chan: See ya later, Tyki~! Now, Lenalee, time to complete your torture~!

Komui: LENALEE~! *glomps Lenalee and drags her away to a soundproof chamber*

Lenalee: *screams for help*

NoName-chan: Perfect~! *looks at Lavi* And YOU have a date to tonight~! You better go get ready!

Lavi: *sighs and leaves*

NoName-chan: Well, that's all! Ciao~! ^^

**…**

**EXTRA: "Lavi and Pineapplebombgirl's Date"**

**Lavi: *Sighs and knocks on Pineapplebombgirl's door*  
Pineapplebombgirl: *answers, looking beautiful* Oh, hey~! ^^  
Lavi: *Gaping at her appearance* H-hey! Um….. Ready to go?  
Pineapplebombgirl: Yup~! ^^ Let's go!  
*3 hours of dinner, movies, and genuinely happy conversations later*  
Pineapplebombgirl and Lavi: *Walk up to Pineapplebombgirl's front door*  
Pineapplebombgirl: *Whispering* We need to be quiet! I'm sharing a house with NoName-chan at the moment, and she's probably sleeping!  
Lavi: *Whispering* Okay! Well, um…. *blushes* I had a really great time tonight. I'm glad that my "Torture" was to take you out.  
Pineapplebombgirl: *Smiles and blushes* I'm glad, too ^^ This was a lot of fun!  
Lavi: *Stands there for a moment before slowly leaning in towards Pineapplebombgirl and closing his eye*  
Pineapplebombgirl: *closes her eyes and tilts her head up slightly*  
Pineapplebombgirl and Lavi: *Get closer and closer until, finally, they-*  
NoName-chan: *Slams the door open into Lavi's face* PIÑA! WHERE DID YOU PUT THE PRETZELS?!  
Pineapplebombgirl: *Pushes me back inside the house and slams the door on my fingers. Turns to Lavi* Where were we? ^^  
Lavi: 0.0 R-right….. um…. *gives Pineapplebombgirl a quick kiss before running off*  
Pineapplebombgirl: *Sighs dreamily before walking inside the house. Expression suddenly turns dark* NONAME-CHAN!  
NoName-chan: *Casually sitting on the couch, sipping a Dr. Pepper* In my defense, you still haven't told me where you put the pretzels.**


	4. Chapter 3

**NoName-chan: Hola, ****_¿_**_**Cómo están**_**?**

**Allen: NOBODY READING THIS SPEAKS SPANISH!**

**NoName-chan: *hits Allen over the head with my shovel* BITCH ASS NIGGA, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! Anyways, here's Episode-Chapter-Thingy 3. Sorry it took so long to get up! ^^;;;**

**Road: I forgive you~! ;3**

**NoName-chan: I'm glad~! ^^ Anyways, I don't own DGM, and I never will. So, yeah... **

**…**

*Torturous Intro causes worldwide cringing*

Road: *grins* Welcome one and all to Episode-Chapter-Thingy 3 of DGS~! I'm Road Kamelot, and these are-

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *GROAN*

Lenalee: *stares at us oddly* What's their problem?

Road: ... I'm actually not sure...

Lenalee: Well, they look like zombies, so we should probably find out...

Road: Yeah... OI, IDIOTS! Who wants to explain what's going on with you guys?

NoName-chan: *Groans again* I'll tell you. It all started a day after Episode-Chapter-Thingy 2 aired when...

_/Flashback/_

_NoName-chan and Pineapplebombgirl: *In our living room, doing some sort of muscle spasm dance in order to get inspiration for writing fanfictions*_

_*doorbell rings*_

_Pineapplebombgirl: *stops dancing* Who's that?_

_NoName-chan: *stops dancing as well and shrugs* I dunno. I didn't invite anyone over. I'll get it, you just go back to dancing._

_Pineapplebombgirl: 'Kay! ^^ *starts doing the Inspiration Dance again*_

_NoName-chan: *answers the door*_

_Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *standing on the porch*_

_Ben-kun: Hi, NoName-chan~! ^^_

_NoName-chan: Oh, hey, Ben-kun- *sees the other 4* WHY ARE THEY HERE._

_Ben-kun: Because I invited them! ^^_

_NoName-chan: No shit, Sherlock! -.- I meant, WHY DID YOU INVITE THEM TO MY HOUSE?!_

_Allen: *taps Ben-kun on the shoulder* Hey, Ben-kun, we- *sees me* WHY IS SHE HERE?!_

_NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with my shovel* I LIVE HERE, DUMBASS!_

_Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: WHAT?! *turn to Ben* WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US WE WERE GOING TO HER HOUSE?!_

_NoName-chan: *hits Ben over the head with my shovel* YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL THEM THEY WERE COMING HERE?!_

_Ben-kun: Heh... 0.0;;;;_

_NoName-chan, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *glare murderously at Ben*_

_Ben-kun: *YELP*_

_*We are interrupted by the loud THUMP of Piña dancing into a wall*_

_Pineapplebombgirl: *gets up shakily* I'M OKAY! ^^_

_NoName-chan: *sweat drops at Piña. Sighs and turns back to Ben, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki* Well, you guys might as well come on in since you're already here. Feel free to look around, but IF YOU BREAK MY SHIT, I WILL BREAK YOUR NECKS, GOT IT?!_

_Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *YELP* G-GOT IT..._

_NoName-chan: *steps aside* Well, then get your asses inside already! You're wasting the AC!_

_Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *walk inside*_

_NoName-chan: *closes the door*_

_Ben-kun: *looks around* Nice place you've got here! ^^_

_Pineapplebombgirl: *turns around to look at him* Why thank you, we- *sees Lavi* LAVI~!_

_Lavi: *blushes* H-hey, Piña! ^^;;;_

_Pineapplebombgirl: *glomps him*_

_Lavi: OOF-! *gets tackled to the ground*_

_NoName-chan: Awww how cute~! ^^_

_NoName-chan's thoughts: _'I hope they're not still pissed about me ruining their moment by slamming the door into Lavi's face after their date...'

_Ben-kun: D'awwwww, they have such a way of greeting each other! X3 *seemingly thinks of something and grins evilly* Which reminds me... *starts tickling me* HEY, NONAME-CHAN! X3_

_NoName-chan: *shrieks and starts laughing hysterically* BAHAHAHA! S-STOP! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!_

_Ben-kun: NO! X3_

_NoName-chan: *starts rolling around on the ground and kicking* BAHAHAHA! S-SERIOUSLY, BEN-KUN! S-STOP IT! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!_

_Ben-kun: NOPE! ^.^_

_NoName-chan: BAHAHAHA- BITCH, STOP! *kicks Ben in the eye*_

_Ben-kun: *falls backwards onto the ground, clutching his eye* OW!_

_NoName-chan: *stands up and casually brushes dust off of my clothes as Ben writhes in pain* I warned you._

_Ben-kun: *starts rolling around on the ground in agony*_

_NoName-chan: *stares down at myself in disgust* Great, now I have to go take a goddamn shower! *stomps upstairs muttering something about "Stupid Ben-kun!"*_

_Tyki: So... *looks over to Piña* Mind if I go get a drink?_

_Pineapplebombgirl: *still clinging to Lavi* Go right ahead! ^^ Kitchen's down the hall, first door to the left._

_Tyki: 'Kay, thanks! ^^ *walks to the kitchen*_

_Allen: Why do I get the feeling something terrible yet hilarious is about to happen...?_

_Pineapplebombgirl: I have no clue~ ^^_

_*WITH TYKI*_

_Tyki: *walks into the kitchen with the lights off* Okay, now where's the fridge...? *stumbles blindly through the darkness, feeling around and finding just about everything except the fridge* JESUS CHRIST, WHERE THE HELL- *trips and falls, smacking face first into the side of the fridge* There it is... T.T_

_Allen: *runs in and turns on the lights* I HEARD A NOISE- oh, it's just you. What happened?_

_Tyki: *groans* Darkness... Refrigerator... SMACK! *passes out from minor head trauma*_

_Allen: *Sweat drops* He tripped into the fridge?... Oh, whatever *grins* Might as well get some food while I'm in here! *gets a piece of bread and walks up to the toaster*_

_*WITH THE OTHERS*_

_Ben-kun: *suddenly stops rolling around and sits up straight with a serious expression*_

_Pineapplebombgirl: *still hugging Lavi* Ben-kun? You okay?_

_Ben-kun: *shakes himself from his daze* U-um yeah, I'm fine! It's just... I have this odd feeling that something stupid is about to happen..._

_*WITH ALLEN*_

_Allen: *inspecting the toaster* How the hell do I use this thing...? *pokes it with the piece of bread and sighs* I guess I'll go ask NoName-chan... *walks upstairs to the bathroom and opens the door*_

_NoName-chan: *showering*_

_Allen: *yanks back the shower curtain* Hey, NoName-chan, how do I use-?_

_NoName-chan: *SCREAM. Throws a huge bottle of shampoo at Allen*_

_Allen: *Gets hit in the smack middle of the forehead* AH!_

_NoName-chan: *calms down* Oh, it's just you. What do you want?_

_Allen: *holds up the toaster* How do I work this thing?_

_NoName-chan: ... The same way you work any other toaster..._

_Allen: *blank stare* How do I do that?_

_NoName-chan: *Facepalm* Here, follow me. *wraps a towel around myself and walks downstairs to the kitchen*_

_Allen: *follows me*_

_NoName-chan: *walks into kitchen* Alright, now- *sees Tyki's unconscious body*_

_... *shrugs and pushes it under a rug with my foot*_

_Allen: ..._

_NoName-chan: Okay, Allen, *takes the toaster and plugs it into the wall* first, you plug in the toaster, *puts a piece of bread in the slot* then, you put the bread in, *pushes down the lever on the side* and finally, you push the thingy down. Now, just wait for the bell thingy to ring and take the toast from the toaster, 'Kay?_

_Allen: *beams* alright! ^^_

_NoName-chan: Now, back to my showe-_

_Kanda: *walks into the room and gapes when she sees towel-wearing me* OH GOD MY VIRGIN EYES MAKE IT STOP! *knocks himself out with a frying pan*_

_NoName-chan: The fuck? O.o_

_Toaster: *DING-A-FREAKIN-LING*_

_Allen: YAY, TOAST~! ^^ *grabs for the toast*_

_NoName-chan: WAIT, ALLEN, STOP! IT'S-_

_Allen: *touches the toast and screams, jumping back and clutching his burnt hand*_

_NoName-chan: -hot... *siiigh* Whatever, I have a shower to get to. *goes back upstairs to the bathroom, drops the towel, and pulls back the shower curtain*_

_Lavi: *IN THE FUCKING SHOWER FOR SOME REASON*_

_NoName-chan and Lavi: *see each other. SCREAM* OH GOD MY VIRGIN EYES MAKE IT STOP!_

_NoName-chan: *in shortage of Bathroom Shovels, knocks Lavi out with the toilet plunger* JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, ASK BEFORE USING SOMEONE ELSE'S SHOWER!_

_Pineapplebombgirl: *walks into the bathroom* Hey, NoName-chan, where did you put the pretze- *sees naked Lavi* JACKPOT~! *drags him away*_

_NoName-chan: ... Riiiight... *shrugs and finishes my shower*_

_/Flashback End/_

Lenalee: Wait, what? I'm confused, what exactly does that have to do with your moods today?

Allen: My hand hurts! T.T *raises up burnt hand*

Ben-kun: My eye hurts! T.T *points to black eye*

Tyki: My head hurts! T.T *rubs head*

Kanda and Lavi: *curled up in the corner, shaking* Some things cannot be un-seen... O_O

NoName-chan: They were only over for five minutes and we were all already traumatized! T.T

Lenalee: Wait, NoName-chan, I understand their stories, but how were YOU traumatized?

NoName-chan: LAVI USED ALL MY SHAMPOO! T_T

Road: *sighs* Well, we've got an Episode-Chapter-Thingy to attend to! So, guys, STOP MOPING!

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *groan even louder*

Lenalee: Guysss! Come on! We've got shit to do!

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *GROAN EVEN LOUDER*

Lenalee: *hangs head in exhaustion* This is useless...

Road: Don't give up quite yet, Lena! I still have a trick or two up my sleeve!

Lenalee: Really? O.o What?

Road: *grins and whispers something into my ear*

NoName-chan: *eyes shoot wide. Jumps up from my seat furiously* THEY ATE ALL THE TACOS IN THE SNACK ROOM?! *takes out shovel*

Lenalee: O.O Oh god...

Road: *grins*

NoName-chan: DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS! *starts beating Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Tyki with the shovel*

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *scream in pain* OW! OW! WHAT THE HEL-?! OW!

Lenalee: *sweat drops* Don't you think that was a bit extreme?...

Road: *grins evilly* Not one bit~

Lenalee: *sighs* Well, we should probably tell NoName-chan that you were just kidding...

Road: *leans back and starts eating popcorn* Nah, let's wait a few minutes~

Lenalee: *sweat drops*

_*5 minutes later*_

NoName-chan: *still beating the guys with the shovel* DIE ALREADY!

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *still screaming in pain* WHAT DID WE DOOOO? T_T

Road: *sighs* Okay, this is getting boring. NoName-chan, just kidding! They didn't actually eat the tacos!

NoName-chan: *murderous expression suddenly turns into a sweet smile as I stop beating the guys* Oh, okay then! ^^ Guys, you can go sit down now.

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: o.e *sigh and go sit on their respective couches*

NoName-chan: *sits down on the red couch with a dazzling grin* Welcome back to D Gray-Show~! I'm your fabulous hostess, NoName-chan-

Kanda: *snorts* Fabulous my ass!

Allen: Coming from a guy in a skirt? -.-

Kanda: *glares at him and angrily fiddles with the pleated miniskirt he's wearing for his today's part of his Dress Up Dare*

NoName-chan: *hits them both over the heads with the shovel* SHUT UP~! Anyways, here's my Co-Host, Ben-kun~! *dramatically gestures to Ben*

Ben-kun: *smiles and waves shyly*

NoName-chan: And here are our contestants~! ^^ *gestures even more dramatically to the contestants*

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki, Road: *smile and wave*

Kanda: *glares at everything*

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* BITCH, WAVE!

Kanda: *growls and waves*

NoName-chan: Now, let's-

*An adorable pale girl a few inches shorter than me with mid-length brown hair with dyed blonde highlights and hazel eyes bursts onto the stage*

Mystery Person: *pokes my cheek repeatedly* WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEE?

NoName-chan: YOU ARE NOT A HOSTESS, NOW SHUT IT!

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *raise an eyebrow* Who the hell is that?

NoName-chan: Yuno-chan. She's my daughter.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *gape* WHAT?! 0.0

Ben-kun: *bursts into tears and glomps me* NOOOOO! MY DEAR BABY SISTER HAS KIDS?! T.T *murderous expression* Who the hell is the father?!

NoName-chan: *facepalm* No, no, she's not my ACTUAL daughter! She's the same age as me, that's not even possible! No, what I meant is that Yuno-chan is one of my best friends. My friends and I are basically just one big family: Jen-chan's the Daddy, I'm the Mommy, and just about everyone else is either one of our many kids or is connected to us in some illegal or incestious way.

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: o.e

NoName-chan: Anyways, Yuno-chan is one of my best friends who I recently converted to DGM-

Allen: You make it sound like we're a religion...

99.9% of the DGM Fangirl Population: YOU AAARRRRREEEE

NoName-chan: -and she decided to come see the show today. HOWEVER, she is NOT a hostess, so YUNO-CHAN! GO SIT DOWN!

YunoSnuggles-Chan: NO! :P

NoName-chan: SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I'M STICKING UNCLE BEN-KUN ON YOU!

Yuno-chan: *rolls eyes* Fiiiiiine! But only after I do this: *grins and glomps Allen* AAALLLEEEENNNNN~!

Allen: THE FU-?!

NoName-chan: She's a HUGE Allen Fangirl.

Allen: *sweat drops* Oh god, not another one...

Yuno-chan: :3 *nuzzles Allen's neck*

Lucy Moon-Walker: *jumps up furiously from her seat in the audience* BITCH, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAN!

Yuno-chan: Your man? Bitch, HE'S MINE! *holds up an axe*

Allen: *gapes at the axe* HOLY SHIT! O_O

NoName-chan: *tick mark* YUNO-CHAN! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THREATENING OTHER FANGIRLS?!

Yuno-chan: *gives me a blank stare* You told me something about that?

NoName-chan: YES! THE SAME DAY I TOLD YOU WHY YOU SHOULDN'T ATTEMPT CANNIBALISM ON LIVING PEOPLE!

Lavi: What the fuck is wrong with these girls?... 0_0

NoName-chan: NOW GO SIT DOWN, YUNO-CHAN!

Yuno-chan: *stomps back towards her seat in the audience, muttering evil things under her breath before stopping and looking up at me* Erm... I can't remember where I was sitting... 0.0

Pineapplebombgirl: It's okay, Yuno-chan! You can come sit next to me! ^^ *gestures to empty seat next to her*

Yuno-chan: *beams and skips over to sit next to Piña* Thanks, Auntie Piña! ^^

Pineapplebombgirl: *freezes slightly at the name before smiling again* No problem, Yuno-chan~! ^^

NoName-chan: *rolls eyes with a smile* ANYWAYS, we have a show to run~! So, Usagi-Twins, go make the poison food!

Usagi-Twins: *grin and walk to the kitchen*

Allen, Lavi, Tyki: POISON FOOD?! 0.0

NoName-chan: *grins* You'll see. It all has to do with one of today's Dares! *grins even more* So you'll have to hope you're not the one that Dare is for.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki, Lenalee: *YELP*

Road: *grins* Bring it on~

NoName-chan: *grins* That's the spirit~! Anyways, on that topic, let's start with the Dare Round today!

Allen: Don't we do that every day?...

NoName-chan: Let's begin! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for Allen~!

Allen: *gulps*

NoName-chan: It reads:

_"Beansprout,_

_I dare you to dump a potion on yourself._

_~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Allen: *HUGE sigh of relief* Oh thank god, it isn't me! ^^

Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: Oh dear god, it isn't him! T_T

NoName-chan: ANYWAYS, *holds up a randomly appearing potion* I stol- I mean, "borrowed" this from Komui's office this morning. Have at it~!

Allen: *takes the potion from me and sighs. Dumps it on himself*

Road: *holds up Blackmail Camera and grins* This is gonna be good!

NoName-chan: *grins*

Allen: *starts leaning back and forth* I feel a bit... *is suddenly enveloped in a cloud of green smoke with a "POOF!" When the smoke disappears, we see that this has caused him to have tattoos of beansprouts all over his body*

Kanda and Lavi: *burst out laughing*

Allen: *tick mark* Okay, who the hell gave Komui the idea to make THIS?!

NoName-chan: We will never know... *cough*Kanda*cough*

Allen: *glares at Kanda* WHY, YOU SON OF A-

NoName-chan: ANYWAYS, *piece of paper appears in my hand* Our next Dare is for... Lavi~!

Lavi: *shakes in fear*

NoName-chan: It reads:

_"Lavi,_

_I dare you to make out with Lenalee for five minutes._

_~Lucy Moon-Walker"_

Lavi: *Pales*

Lenalee: *blushes crimson*

Lavi: OH GOD, I'M NOT WHICH IS WORSE: THIS OR POISON!

Lenalee: HEY! *Hits Lavi over the head with her clipboard*

Lavi: OW! WHAT THE HELL?!

Lenalee: Kissing me is NOT that bad!

Lavi: Eh? *LIGHTBULB* OOOOOOHHHH. No, no, I meant-

Lenalee: *eyes narrow* Be careful how you answer this.

Lavi: -that I'm not sure what's worse: Komui's wrath or Poison.

Lenalee: *puts down chainsaw that I've only now told you she was holding* Oh, okay then. You can live ^^

Lavi: Easy for you to say….. T_T

NoName-chan: *grins* Oh, don't worry! Komui won't kill you!

Lavi: *looks up at me from his emo-ness* R-really? How do you know?

NoName-chan: *grins even more* Because I have a little Pre-Torture Round Torture of my own today! Komui, COME ON IN~!

Komui: *walks into the room and onto the stage* You asked to see me, NoName-chan?

NoName-chan: Yup! ^^ *tazes Komui*

Komui: ASDFGHJKLAUGHAUGAH! *collapses*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: WTF?! 0.0

NoName-chan: What? We can't have him interrupting the kiss~ *grins and ties Komui to a chair* Or any of today's Episode-Chapter-Thingy, for that matter! So his Torture is to watch the whole thing *ducktapes Komui's mouth shut* without saying a word~!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: 0.0

NoName-chan: Now, Lavi! Lenalee! Get to kissing! Road! Get to taping!

Road: *grins and holds up camera* I'm on it~!

Lavi and Lenalee: *blush furiously and sigh before starting to kiss gently*

Allen: *smiles slightly* Aww, they're kind of cute together! They seem so sweet, and-

NoName-chan: *slams Lavi's and Lenalee's heads closer together* BITCHES, KISS HARDER! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING OUT, NOT PECKING YOUR GRANDMOTHER ON THE CHEEK! KISS LIKE YOU'RE KISSING YOUR SISTER!

Allen: o.e

Lavi and Lenalee: *start actually making out*

NoName-chan: *smirks* Better.

_*5 minutes later*_

NoName-chan: Aaaaaand... Done!

Lavi and Lenalee: *pull back, gasping for air*

NoName-chan: *looks at Road* Got all that?

Road: *smirks and holds up camera* Yup~!

NoName-chan: *grins* send me the tapes later~

Road: Sure thing~!

Lavi: Hey, mind sending me one, too?

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, Tyki: *give Lavi a "WTF?" stare*

Lavi: Whaaaat? I wanna know if I looked good!

Road: Um... Okay, yeah, sure. You can have a tape.

Lavi: YAYZ~! \(^.^)/

NoName-chan: *blink blink* Alrighty then... Anyways, moving on~! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for Lenalee~! It reads:

_"Lenalee,_

_I dare you to make out with Road for five minutes after Lavi's done with you._

_~Lucy Moon-Walker"_

Lenalee: *gapes*

Ben-kun: *squeals in joy and gets a nosebleed*

Komui: *snaps awake at the dare and starts thrashing around in his ropes*

Road: *grins and holds her Blackmail Camera out to me* mind taping this one for me?

NoName-chan: *grins and takes camera* No problem~

Road: *smirks and starts making out with Lenalee intensely*

Lenalee: *eyes widen a bit*

Ben-kun: *NOSEBLEED*

Lavi: *desperately resisting the urge to nosebleed*

Allen: *giving this whole situation a "WTF?" stare*

Kanda and Tyki: *shaking in fear at the possibility one of them has the Poison Food Dare*

_*5 minutes later*_

NoName-chan: 'Kay, time's up!

Lenalee and Road: *pull back, panting*

Road: *looks at me* Got it?

NoName-chan: *holds up camera* Yup~!

Road: Awesome! *smirks and takes camera*

Allen and Lenalee: o.e

NoName-chan: Anyways, next Dare~! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for... Tyki~!

Tyki: *trembles nervously*

NoName-chan: It reads:

_"Perv,_

_I dare you to set Yuu-chan's hair on fire._

_~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Tyki: Wait, why would you assume that's for me? O.o

NoName-chan and Road: Why WOULDN'T we assume that's for you?

Tyki: *sighs* Well, at least I only have to... SET KANDA'S HAIR ON FIRE?! O.O

Allen and Lavi: *laugh asses off*

Road: *holds up Blackmail Camera and prepares to tape again*

Ben-kun: NoName-chan, are you sure this is okay? I mean, remember what happened LAST time you let someone use fire in the NoName-chan Fanficion Co. Building? O.o

NoName-chan: *shudders at the memory of Tyki crashing into a coffee table, catching on fire from the candles on the table, running around screaming for 20 minutes, and eventually setting my curtains on fire* My poor curtains... But it's okay, Ben-kun! I made sure to fireproof all the curtains just in case! ^^

Ben-kun: Is that really your only concern about setting Kanda's hair on fire? o.e

NoName-chan: Yup! Have at it, Tyki~! ^^

Tyki: *lights a match and gulps* I'm not sure about this...

Lenalee: It's okay, Tyki! Kanda's still too traumatized about the possibility of having the Poison Food Dare to comprehend anything! He won't even notice! ^^

Tyki: Oh, really? Well, if THAT'S the case... *throws the lit match onto Kanda's head*

Kanda: *still curled up in a ball, shaking*

Match: *continues to burn*

Kanda's hair: *doesn't do anything*

Ben-kun, Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: Huh? O.O *give me a questioning stare*

NoName-chan: HEY, DON'T LOOK AT ME! He must have fireproofed his hair at some point, that's all!

Lavi: *snaps fingers* Oh, I know what this is! This is because of the time I accidentally put Fire Retardant Tree Spray instead of glittery gold hair dye in Yuu-chan's shampoo!

Ben-kun: ...

Allen: How did you mess that one up? O.o

NoName-chan: Eh, who cares. We've got shit to do, so someone put out that match out before Kanda accidentally sets Ben-kun on fire or something.

Road: I'm on it! *dumps a randomly appearing cup of hot coffee on Kanda's head*  
Coffee: *SIZZLE*  
Everyone: O.O ….

Ben-kun, Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *Look at Road* O.O HOT COFFEE?! REALLY?!

NoName-chan: *hits them each over the head with the shovel* WHO CARES?! MOVING ON! *slip of paper appears in my hand* Okay, this one's for Road~! It reads:

_"Road,_

_We dare you to make out with Kanda for two minutes._

_~Usagi-Twins"_

Allen: Geez, what's with all the kissing today? O.o

Tyki: And why am I not in on it? O.o

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee: *give Tyki a "WTF?" stare*

Lavi: Also, why would someone dare Road to kiss Kanda? o.e

NoName-chan: Heh... ^^;;;

Lavi: ...Oh my god, they didn't, did they?

NoName-chan: Nope! The Twins dared ANYBODY to make out with Kanda for two minutes. I just chose Road~

Lavi: Why? O.O

NoName-chan: Because I have seen every possible pairing between you guys in a fanfiction at some point: Yullen, Laven, AlLena, AllenxRoad, Poker Pair, LaviYuu, LaviLena, LavixRoad, Lucky, KaLena, RoLena, TykiLena, TykixRoad-

Allen: What the hell have you been reading...? O.o

NoName-chan: -except one: KandaxRoad. I have NEVER seen that before. Therefore, I've decided to make it happen myself!

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: WHY?

NoName-chan: *ignores them* ANYWAYS, Road?

Road: *grins* Come here, Pretty Boy! *starts making out with still-petrified Kanda*

Kanda: *shakes out of his trance* MMPH?!

NoName-chan: *recording this whole thing* How beautiful~! ^^

_*2 minutes later*_

NoName-chan: Okay, time's up! ^^

Road: *still making out with Kanda*

NoName-chan: ...Road? Time's up! You can stop now...

Road: *pulls back for a brief second* Yeah, yeah, I'll do it in a minute! *goes back to making out with Kanda*

NoName-chan: *sweat drops*

Allen: Should we do something about this...?

NoName-chan: Probably... *rubs invisible beard methodically* Hm... *snaps fingers* I'VE GOT IT! Road, if you stop right now, I'll let you take Kanda home with you!

Road: *releases Kanda* DEAL! *skips back to her spot and sits down*

Kanda: *gasps for air*

Allen: Er…. BaKanda? You okay?

Kanda: *panting* Yeah, I'm fine….. It's just…. *looks at Road* Where did you learn to do THAT with your tongue? O_o

Ben-kun, Allen, Lavi, Lenalee: O.O

Road: *Grins* Tyki taught me~

Tyki: *tears up happily* My sweet little niece has learned so well~! :')

Lavi: *gapes at Kanda* She did THAT?! I nearly died when Tyki did that during my Rape Torture!

Ben-kun, Allen, Lenalee: O.O

Kanda: *Not really giving a shit anymore* Yeah, yeah…... *sniffs the air* Hey, why does it smell like burning Christmas Tree Fire Retardant Spray in here?

Tyki: How does he know what that smells like…? O.o

Kanda: *Ignores Tyki* Well?

NoName-chan: Long story. MOVING ON~! The last Dare, of course, is for Kanda~! And you all know what THAT means! *grins*

Kanda: *pales* Oh god... 0.0

NoName-chan: Yup! *slip of paper appears in my hand* It reads:

_"Kanda,_

_We dare you to let us shove random food (we can cook the food if you want) down your throat (we can tie you to a chair, and if you don't want to open your mouth, we can cut you, shoot your legs, or hit you.)_

_~Usagi-Twins"_

Kanda: *gapes*

Allen: Wait a minute... I THOUGHT THE FOOD WAS POISONOUS!

NoName-chan: When did I ever say that?

Allen: AT THE BEGINNING! You told the Twins to go make the "Poison Food!"

NoName-chan: Yeah. Poison Food. That was our Codename for "Food to Shove Down Kanda's Throat."

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: REALLY?!

NoName-chan: Yup~! *grins* You people worry too much! I mean, COME ON! I can't KILL you guys! That's bad for Ratings!

Allen: *slams his face down on the coffee table* I give up...

NoName-chan: GOOD! Anyways, *faster than the blink of an eye, ties Kanda to a chair* Twins! Is the food ready?

Usagi-Twins: *grin and walk into the room, pushing a HUGE trolley of food* Yup~!

NoName-chan: *grins and hands them each a knife, a gun, and a shovel* Then have at it~!

Usagi-Twins: *grin and start shoving food down Kanda's throat*

Kanda: AUGHAUGHGUGAHGAUHAJABDAKSJVODFJRROIGJCRT,SX?/! STOP, BITCHES!

Usagi-Twins: NEVARRR! *Attempt to shove more food down Kanda's throat*

Kanda: *Snaps his mouth shut*

Usagi-Twins: *Grin and punch Kanda* OPEN UP!

Kanda: *YELP*

Usagi-Twins: *shove more food down his throat*

_*20 minutes of food-based torture and beatings later*_

Usagi-Twins: *smirks and push the (now empty) trolley away*

Kanda: *gasping for air with multiple wounds in his body*

NoName-chan: *smiles and unties him* Wonderful~!

Kanda: *glares at me* YOU'RE EVIL.

NoName-chan: *grins evilly* I know~ *smiles brightly again* Anyways, we've wasted a lot of time on the Dare Round, so let's go ahead and move on to... The Question Round~!

Ben-kun and Road: *cheer*

Allen and Lavi: *groan*

Lenalee and Tyki: *pokerface*

Kanda: *still gasping for air*

NoName-chan: Alrighty then, *slip of paper appears in my hand* First one's for... Road~! It reads:

_"Hey, Road,_

_Wanna go on a killing spree with me later? ;D_

_~Yuno-chan"_

Road: *grins and looks at Yuno* Gladly~!

Yuno-chan: *cheers in joy*

NoName-chan: OO! OO! Can I come, too? :D

Yuno-chan: Sure, Mom! ^^

NoName-chan: AWESOME~! So, this weekend?

Yuno-chan and Road: Yup~! ^^

NoName-chan: Great! ^^ Anyways, next Question~! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for... Lavi~! It reads:

_"Lavi,_

_How does your hair do that with the headband? Our bother's hair does the same thing! His hair first goes down then goes to the side; it fucking defies gravity! It's like, the fuck?_

_~Usagi-Twins"_

Lavi: ...

NoName-chan: ... How DOES your hair do that? I'm curious, too...

Lavi: *sighs* Well, to answer your Question, I don't know how my hair does that. It's just like a cowlick sort of thing.

NoName-chan and Usagi-Twins: BULLSHIT IT IS!

Lavi: 0.0;;;

NoName-chan: *sighs* Well, I guess we'll go ahead and move on 'cause we have a Timeslot... *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for... Tyki~! It reads:

_"Oi, Tyki,_

_Are you a descendent of Pedobear?_

_~Lucy Moon-Walker"_

Tyki: *throws hands up in annoyance* Why does everyone keep asking that?!

Allen: *Sarcastic tone* I WONDER?

Tyki: The answer to that Question is so obvious! YES, HE'S MY UNCLE!

NoName-chan, Lucy Moon-Walker, Road, myangelicladyofdarkness: I FUCKING KNEW IT!

Tyki: ...

NoName-chan: *clears throat* AHEM…. Um... Moving on... *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for... Kanda~! It reads:

_"Kanda, _

_Are you gay? If so, go fuck Lavi... I need fanservice..._

_~Lucy Moon-Walker"_

Lavi: *Throws hands up in exasperation* WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS DEMAND THAT I GET FUCKED?

NoName-chan: Not everyone… only…

Pineapplebombgirl: *jumps up from her seat furiously and stomps onto the stage* LUCY! THAT IS THE SECOND TIME YOU'VE DEMANDED THAT SOMEONE HAD SEX WITH LAVI! WHAT THE HELL?!

Lucy Moon-Walker: *stomps onto the stage and growls in Piña's face* Because Yuuvi doesn't involve my Allen-

Yuno-chan: YOUR ALLEN-?!

NoName-chan and Lucy Moon-Walker: YUNO, SHUT IT!

Yuno-chan: *glares at us evilly*

Lucy Moon-Walker: *looks back to Piña* -and, quite frankly, your little Bunny-Boy is much better in any yaoi pairing than he is with you.

Pineapplebombgirl: *snarl* Coming from the girl whose love is the Uke of nearly every DGM yaoi pairing there is?!

Lucy Moon-Walker: OH, YOU WANNA GO?!

Pineapplebombgirl: BRING IT!

NoName-chan: *appears between them and sprays water with one of those spray bottles that you use to punish cats in Lucy's and Piña's faces* NO! NO! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! FANGIRL FIGHTS ARE BAD FOR RATINGS! GO SIT DOWN!

Lucy Moon-Walker and Pineapplebombgirl: WHAT-

NoName-chan: *sprays them again* BAD FANGIRLS! GO SIT DOWN!

Lucy Moon-Walker and Pineapplebombgirl: *walk back to their seats, grumbling*

NoName-chan: *beams* Alright, now, Kanda? Are you gay? ^^

NoName-chan's, Road's, and Lenalee's thoughts: _'PleaseBeGayPleaseBeGayPleaseBeGay...'_

Kanda: Che. NO!

Road: BULLSHIT YOU AREN'T!

Kanda: BUT I'M NOT!

NoName-chan: *blink blink* Really? O.o

Kanda: *tick mark* DUH!

NoName-chan: Oh, okay. Well, go have sex with Lavi!

Kanda and Lavi: WHAT?! BUT THE QUESTION SAID-

NoName-chan: *hits them both over the head with the shovel* AND I SAID YOU TWO ARE HAVING SEX! NOW GO TO THE CONSENSUAL SEX ROOM AND BE BACK IN TEN MINUTES!

Ben-kun: Wait, you have both a Rape Room AND a Consensual Sex Room? O.o

NoName-chan: Well, I have to have SOMEWHERE for General Cross to go! Which reminds me, *hands Kanda $5 bucks* he's probably in there right now, so would you mind giving him this for me? I still owe him for that time he harvested that kidney for me, and-

Kanda: *takes money* DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! Come on, let's just go...

Kanda and Lavi: *stomp out of the room and off to the Consensual Sex Room*

NoName-chan: Alright, moving on! ^^ *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for... Lenalee~! It reads:

_"Hey, Lenalee,_

_Can I have a copy of a Blackmail Tape?_

_~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Lenalee: *beams* Sure~! ^^ Just tell me which one you want, and I'll get it to your house within 3-4 Business Days!

myangelicladyofdarkness: Okay~! Well, Hm... What tapes do you have?

Lenalee: Currently, I have "Allen's Shower Singing" Volumes 1-4, "Lavi's Prank Failures" Volumes 3-7, "Kanda's Bathroom Dancing" Volumes 2-5, and, if you're willing to wait 5-8 Business Days, I can get you a copy of today's make out sessions~! ^^

myangelicladyofdarkness: Hm... I guess I'll take... "Kanda's Bathroom Dancing" Volume 5.

Lenalee: A fantastic choice~! ^^ *gives her the tape*

myangelicladyofdarkness: *grins* Sweet!

NoName-chan: Great~! Moving on! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one, of course, is for Allen~! It reads:

_"Allen,_

_WILL YOU MARRY ME? Or at least take me on a date?_

_~Lucy Moon-Walker"_

Ben-kun, Lenalee, Tyki, Road: MARRIAGE?! O.O

Allen: UM… 0.0;;;

NoName-chan: *stands up* OKAY, hold on! I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't marry anyone off on this show!

Lenalee and Tyki: Wait…. You aren't going to force any marriage on this show? You mean….. *GASP* YOU HAVE MORALS?!

NoName-chan: *SNORT* PFFT, NO! I mean, I literally CAN'T marry anyone off on this show.

Ben-kun: You can't? Why? 0.0

NoName-chan: Because, when I tricke- er... I mean, "convinced" Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki, and Road to sign the legal documents that gave me full authority to beat them, force them to do horrible things, or even kill them, I didn't think to include the ability to force them to marry people. Therefore, I didn't tell the Network about the possibility of marriage before this thing first aired, and if I were to force someone to get married or even HAVE a marriage on this show, I could get in a lot of trouble! So, if anybody is getting married, you'll have to do it on your own time without any connection to the show for the reasoning.

Ben-kun, Lenalee, Tyki: 0.0

Allen: *Sweat drops* Um... Well, marriage is moving a bit fast anyways... But I guess I'll take Lucy on a date? ^^;;;

Lucy Moon-Walker: *jumps in joy* YAY~! ^^

Yuno-chan: *jumps up furiously* OH HELL NO! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DATE MY MAN, LUCY!

Lucy Moon-Walker: *Smirks* Oh really? JUST HAPPENED, BITCH!

Yuno-chan: *gets all up in Lucy's face* DON'T MAKE ME USE SNUGGLES! *holds up her axe, "Snuggles," threateningly*

Lucy Moon-Walker: DON'T MAKE ME USE THE MONKEY STICK! *holds up Monkey Stick*

NoName-chan: *holds up Fangirl Spray Bottle threateningly* THAT IS BAD FOR RATIN-

Yuno-chan and Lucy Moon-Walker: SHUT THE HELL UP, NONAME-CHAN!

NoName-chan: *YELP. Hides behind the couch*

Yuno-chan and Lucy Moon-Walker: *Go back to arguing and threatening each other*

Ben-kun: *Yelps in fear at their fight. Looks around frantically* S-SOMEONE DO SOMETHING! O.O NoName-chan?

NoName-chan: *trembles in fear behind the couch* The two most deadly and frightening fangirls in the entire world are fighting. Fuck this shit, man, I'm out!

Ben-kun: Er... Road? o.o;;;

Road: *grins and puts a piece of popcorn in her mouth* Fuck that, this is too hilarious to interrupt!

Ben-kun: U-UM... ALLEN? TYKI? O.O;;;

Allen and Tyki: NONAME-CHAN is afraid of these people. Like hell if we're doing anything!

Ben-kun: *sweats nervously* Oh god... What am I going to do?! O.O;;;;;;

Lenalee: *tick mark* Okay, THAT'S ENOUGH! *hits Yuno and Lucy over the heads with her clipboard*

Yuno-chan and Lucy Moon-Walker: O.O

Lenalee: GO SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW, OR SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL UNLEASH HELL ON THIS PLACE! YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!

Everybody: O.O ...

Yuno-chan and Lucy Moon-Walker: Y-yes ma'am... O.O *walk back to their seats shakily*

NoName-chan: *grins and jumps back onto the red couch* Thanks, Lenalee~!

Lenalee: No problem~! ^^

NoName-chan: So it's settled: Allen and Lucy have a date tonight! Now, time to-

Kanda and Lavi: *slam the door open and walk in*

_*slow motion close up of the door slamming against the wall, causing a small splinter of wood to break off*_

NoName-chan: *freezes and watches the splinter of wood to fall to the ground*

Ben-kun: *Sees the look on my face* ... N-NoName-chan? 0.0;;;

NoName-chan: *a dark aura surrounds me as I continue to stare at the splinter*

Kanda: Oi, what's wrong with her?

NoName-chan: You... Assholes... Broke... My door...

Lavi: *YELP* N-Now, NoName-chan, let's just talk about this! O.O

NoName-chan: *sickly sweet smile and disturbingly calm tone* What's there to talk about, Lavi? *holds up shovel* It's time for you to die~! ^^

Kanda and Lavi: *YELP*

Lenalee: OH MY GOD, COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Random Camera Guy: I'M ON IT!

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN*_

"ALLEN'S SHOWER SINGING VOLUMES 1-4~!" *99.9% of the Allen fangirl population orders*

"LAVI'S PRANK FAILURES VOLUMES 3-7~!" *99.9% of the Lavi fangirl population orders*

"KANDA'S BATHROOM DANCING VOLUMES 2-5~!" *99.9% of the Kanda fangirl population orders*

"TODAY'S MAKE OUT SESSIONS TAPE~!" *99.9% of the entire DGM fangirl population orders*

"SHOVELS~!" *NoName-chan orders*

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END*_

_*we return to our set once again. Everybody is in their respective sitting places once again with me smirking and polishing my shovel, and Kanda and Lavi bandaged head to toe*_

NoName-chan: *grins* Welcome back~!  
Kanda and Lavi: *Curled up in a ball, shivering* SHOVELS…. SHOVELS EVERYWHERE!

NoName-chan: *Grins* Now, without wasting any time, let's-

Random Domino's Pizza Delivery Guy: *Runs onto the stage, kicks Tyki in the face, and jumps onto the coffee table* FEAR ME, CHEESY PRETZELS!

Everybody: WHAT THE FUCK?! O.o

Tyki: *holds cheek in pain* OW!

Pizza Guy: That is all~ *bows and walks off the stage calmly*

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki, Road, Fangirls: *Look at me demandingly*

NoName-chan: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME FOR?! I'M JUST AS CONFUSED AS YOU ARE! O.O

Pizza Guy: *walks up to Piña* I did it!

Pineapplebombgirl: Thanks, Jaxon~! ^^ *gives him $5 bucks*

Jaxon: *takes the money* No problem! *leaves*

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, tyki, Road: *sweat drop* Oh, that explains it….

Pineapplebombgirl: Teehee~ ^.^

Lavi: Why did she hire a Pizza Guy to come do that? O.o

NoName-chan: Moving on~! Let's mix it up and jump straight to the Random Round~! *the box of Randomness Popsicle sticks appears on my lap*

Lavi: AAAND she ignores me….. -.-;;;

NoName-chan: First up, since he's apparently feeling sassy, let's have… Lavi~! ^^

Lavi: Sassy? O.o Since when am I-

Pineapplebombgirl and Road: SHUT UP, MR. SASS!

NoName-chan: *selects a random Popsicle stick* Lavi, your randomness is... Another Dare~! It reads:

_"Lavi,_

_KISS BEANSPROUT! NOW!_

_~Usagi-Twins"_

Allen: *blushes crimson* W-WHAT-?! HE ISN'T GOING TO KISS ME! LAVI'S MY FRIEND! HE WOULD NEVER-

Lavi: *kisses Allen*

99.9% of the yaoi fangirl population: *NOSEBLEED*

Lavi: *pulls back*

Allen: W-WHAT- WHY- HUH?!

NoName-chan: Moving on~! Next let's have... Allen~! *selects a Popsicle stick* Your randomness is... A Double Question~! Your first question reads:

_"Allen,_

_Who would you rather fuck: Kanda, Lavi, or Tyki?_

_~Usagi-Twins"_

Allen: *GAPE*

NoName-chan, Usagi-Twins, Lenalee, Road: ... Well?

Allen: *gulps* U-um... I guess... Lavi?

Lavi: *jumps up happily* YES~!

Tyki: Damn it!

Kanda: *gives them both a "WTF?" stare*

Candy: I fuckin' knew it! Choco, you owe me ten bucks!

Choco: God damn it, Allen, you should've picked Kanda! Why Lavi?!

Allen: Well, because Kanda's a total asshole, and Tyki's a pedophilic rapist, plus Lavi and I JUST kissed, so...

NoName-chan: *nods head and strokes invisible beard methodically* Ah, that makes sense. Well, Allen, Lavi, off to the Consensual Sex Room you go~!

Allen: WHAT?!

Lavi: Aw, sweet! *picks Allen up like a princess and runs out of the room*

Ben-kun: ... Doesn't Allen have another question to answer...?

NoName-chan: Just give 'em ten minutes... *watching the monitor for the hidden cameras in the Consensual Sex Room with the Usagi-Twins, Road, and Lenalee*

_*ten minutes of massive nosebleeds later*_

Allen and Lavi: *walk back in and sit down*

NoName-chan: Nice to see you're back~! ^^ Anyways, Allen, time for your second Question~! It reads:

_"Hey, Allen,_

_...Can we hang out?_

_~Mokatty"_

Allen: *smiles kindly* Sure ^^

NoName-chan: Wonderful~! Okay, Allen, *hands Allen a wad of cash* here's $50 bucks. Go take Mokatty to a club or something.

Allen: *takes the money and salutes* I'm on it! *gets an overjoyed Mokatty from the audience and leaves*

NoName-chan: Okay, while Allen does that, let's move on~! Next let's have... Lenalee~! *selects Popsicle stick* You have... Another Question~! It reads:

_"Lenalee,_

_Where do you get your boots? They're fucking legit!_

_~Usagi-Twins"_

Lenalee: *beams* Why thank you~! ^^ The boots I usually wear are my Innocence, but I get all my other boots from Payless Shoe Source! ^^

Ben-kun: I KNEW IT~! *makes a mental note to go to Payless later*

NoName-chan: …..Anyways, next let's have... Kanda~! *tries to select a Popsicle stick, but ends up picking up two by accident* ...

Ben-kun: Hasn't this happened before...?

NoName-chan: Yup~! *grins* looks like Kanda's doing two Randomnesses today~!

Kanda: WHAT-

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* SHUT UP~! YOU'RE DOING TWO RANDOMNESSES TODAY, AND THAT'S FINAL!

Kanda: KSJFNERJGNRIGD4O5DHKD?/!

NoName-chan: Anyways, your first Randomness is... OO! A Combo Dare~!

Kanda: *pales at the memory of singing the Onion Song with Allen*

NoName-chan: It reads:

_"Kanda,_

_I dare you and Tyki to spar with Road~!_

_~MagicSinger"_

Kanda and Tyki: *gape in horror*

Road: *grins and surrounds herself with pointy candles* Let's begin~!

Kanda and Tyki: *YELP*

Lenalee: HOLY SHIT, COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Random Camera Guy: 'Kay 'Kay~!

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN*_

"KANDA AND LAVI'S SEX TAPE~!" *99.9% of the LaviYuu fangirl population orders*

"LAVI AND ALLEN'S SEX TAPE~!" *99.9% of the Laven fangirl population orders*

"AXES AND KNIVES~!" *Yuno orders*

"MONKEY STICKS AND CURSED SWORDS~!" *Lucy orders*

"MORE SHOVELS~! *NoName-chan orders*

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END*_

_*we return to our set where everybody but Allen is back on their respective couches. Road is grinning sadistically, and Kanda and Tyki are covered in bandages*_

NoName-chan: *grins* And, we're back~!

Kanda and Tyki: *glare at me* I HATE YOU.

NoName-chan: Love ya, too~! Now, Kanda, your other Randomness is... Another Dare~! It reads:

_"Kanda, _

_I dare you to read a Yullen and a Yuuvi fanfic._

_~Lucy Moon-Walker"_

Kanda: *pales* Oh god...

NoName-chan: *grins and hands Kanda randomly appearing laptop with the respective fanfictions open*

Kanda: *sighs heavily and starts reading*

NoName-chan, Lenalee, Road: *read over his shoulder and immediately get nosebleeds*

Kanda: *Starts off with a pokerface. Eyebrows rise slightly. Eyes widen. Pales. Turns a little green* OH GOD WHY WOULD I DO THAT TO ALLE- *holds a hand up to his mouth. Shakes head, traumatized. Takes the hand away. Gapes and snaps his mouth shut several times before replacing the hand. Turns even greener as his eyes widen even further* BEANSPROUT WOULDN'T- HOW IS THAT PLEASURABL- OH MY GOD! *returns to alternating between gaping and covering his mouth with his hand. Raises a finger as if to say something before bringing his hand back to his mouth again. Puffs out his cheeks in an "I'm about to throw up" way. Turns even greener as his eyes widen even MORE* OH MY FUCKING GOD, HOW IS THAT-?! THAT WOULD KILL HIM! OH MY- *Turns to the side and throws up*

NoName-chan: *Stops fangirling at Kanda's vomiting* AUAGHAGUAGAH! OH MY GOD, EW! GODDAMN IT, KANDA! WHO'S GONNA CLEAN THAT UP?!

Kanda: *reading and turning green again*

NoName-chan: *rolls eyes with a loud sigh before going back to reading again*

_*10 more minutes of Kanda vomit and Fangirl nosebleeds later*_

Kanda: *slams the laptop shut*  
NoName-chan: I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU BREAK MY LAPTOP-

Kanda: OH THANK GOD, IT'S OVER…

Lenalee and Road: *SQUEAL* That was AWESOME~!

Lucy Moon-Walker: *smirks* So what'd you think, Kanda?

Kanda: *Rocking back and forth in the corner* ASSES…. ASSES EVERYWHERE….

NoName-chan: *wipes away nose blood* Okay, moving on~! Next, let's have...Tyki~! *selects Popsicle stick* Your Randomness is... Another Dare~! It reads:

_"Tyki,_

_We dare you to let us bet you up with NoName-chan's weapon of choice, fists, kicks, hammers, guns, scythes, machetes, giant books, shovels, etc. for 5 minutes._

_~Usagi-Twins"_

Tyki: *gapes* W-WHAT...?

NoName-chan: *grins* You heard the ladies~! *gives the Usagi-Twins my trusty shovel* Here's my weapon of choice; just be sure to return it! Everything else you might need is already in the Tyki Torture Room. Now, have at it~!

Usagi-Twins: *grin and drag Tyki out of the room*

Tyki: *screams for help*

_*door closes eerily*_

Lavi: 0.0 Is he going to be oka-

NoName-chan: Moving on~ Okay, finally, let's have... Road~! *attempts to select one Popsicle stick, but ends up selecting two that are stuck together*

Ben-kun: Again with this? O.o

NoName-chan: *sweat drops* Yeah, we have a pretty shitty Popsicle stick provider... Eh, whatever. Road, your first Randomness is another Question~! It reads:

_"Road,_

_Who do you like to torture the most?_

_~Usagi-Twins"_

Road: *grins* That's easy! Ben-kun, obviously~!

Ben-kun: Haha yeah her favorite torture victim is- WAIT WHAT?!

NoName-chan: *ignore Ben and grins* Of course. And your other Randomness is another Dare~! It reads:

_"Road!_

_I dare you to pretend to be a Vampire! Bite people's necks and drink their blood for the rest of the Episode-Chapter-Thingy!_

_~MagicSinger"_

Ben-kun, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: *GAPE*

Road: *grins* I'm on it~! *bites Ben's neck and starts drinking his blood*

Ben-kun: ASDFGHJKLAAUAGHAGUAH!

NoName-chan: And that concludes the Random Round~! ^^ Now, for the-

Usagi-Twins: *drag Tyki back in, grinning*

Tyki: *covered in wounds and shaking in horror*

NoName-chan: *grins* glad to see you're back~!

Usagi-Twins: *grin* Glad to be back~! Where should we put the Perv?

NoName-chan: Eh, just put him anywhere.

Usagi-Twins: 'Kay~! *prop Tyki up against a wall, return my shovel, and go sit down*

NoName-chan: Alright, as I was saying, onto the Torture Round~! First to spin the wheel will be... Allen~!

*crickets*

Ben-kun: Uh, NoName-chan? He isn't here...

NoName-chan: *hits Ben over the head with the shovel* No shit, Sherlock! -.- We'll just have to go get him!

Lavi: Or we could move onto someone else until he gets ba-

NoName-chan: Come on! *runs out of the room*

Road: Wait up~! *runs after me*

Ben-kun, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *sigh and follow us at a normal pace*

_*10 minutes later*_

NoName-chan: *Stops abruptly* Okay, we're here!

Ben-kun: *stops, panting* Wait, where ARE we?

NoName-chan: The Club. Now, someone go in and get Allen!

Ben-kun: I'm on it~! *runs to the door*

Security Guard: What do you want?

Ben-kun: I need to go inside, and- *looks at the man* General Sokalo? O.o

Security Guard, now identified as Sokalo: Yeah?

Ben-kun: Since when are you a Security Guard? 0.0

Sokalo: Since now.

Ben-kun: Erm... Okay! ^^ Well, I need I get in!

Sokalo: Okay. Let me see your ID.

Ben-kun: I... D?... 0.0;;;

Sokalo: The Bartenders here are too stupid to check who they're giving alcohol too, so we just check the IDs of people before they go in to make sure they're at least 21. Where's your ID?

Ben-kun: Erm... I'm 18... 0.0;;;;

Sokalo: Oh? Then, GET LOST! *literally drop kicks Ben-kun away*

Ben-kun: AAAAAAAHHHHHH! *lands in front of me*

NoName-chan: Well?

Ben-kun: *shaking in horror* SOKALO... ID... DROP KICK...

NoName-chan: Oh, so Sokolo's the Security Guard, and you need your ID to get in, so he drop kicked you for only being 18? Drat, I forgot that Allen probably has a fake ID from his years with Cross...

Ben-kun: *nods head*

Kanda: *stares at me* How the hell did you get that?...

NoName-chan: Doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that we need someone with over the age of 21 to go get Allen. *looks at Tyki* Tyki? You're 50-ish right?

Tyki: I'M 26-

NoName-chan: Doesn't matter. Just go.

Tyki: Um... I can't...

NoName-chan: What? Why not?

Tyki: Because I got my ID taken away by social services that one time I tried to rape that one kid that looked like Lavi at the petting zoo...

Kanda and Lavi: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?... O.o

NoName-chan: *sighs* Tyki, just try anyway.

Tyki: If you say so... *walks up to Sokalo*

Sokalo: What?

Tyki: I need to get in, please~

Sokalo: Can I see your ID?

Tyki: Err...

Sokalo: *drop kicks Tyki*

Tyki: AAAAAAAHHHHHH! *lands in front of me*

NoName-chan: Well?

Tyki: No luck... T.T

NoName-chan: Hm... ROAD! You're, like, 30, right? Do you have an ID?

Road: *holds up ID* Yup~! *walks up to Sokalo* Oi, I need to get in, and-

Sokalo: There's no way you're 21. *drop kicks Road*

Road: AAAAAAAHHHHHH! *lands in front of me*

NoName-chan: Well?

Road: He didn't even let me try...

NoName-chan: Hm... Kanda! Can you try threatening Sokalo into letting you in?

Kanda: *smirks* I'm on it. *walks up to Sokalo and holds up Mugen* OI, LET ME-

Sokalo: *activates his huge blade Innocence*

Kanda: O.O *gulps*

Sokalo: *drop kicks Kanda*

Kanda: AAAAAAAHHHHHH! *lands in front of me*

NoName-chan: Do I even need to ask how that went...? -.-;;;;

Kanda: Probably not...

NoName-chan: *sighs* Lenalee? Do you think you can get us in with the sex appeal of your feminine charm?

Lenalee: Only if you never say that to me again... *sashays up to Sokalo. Seductive tone* Hey, Big Boy-

Sokalo: *drop kicks Lenalee*

Lenalee: AAAAAAAHHHHHH! *lands in front of me* Nope...T.T

NoName-chan: *sighs irritably and looks at Lavi. Puts a hand on his shoulder and stares intensely into his eyes- er, "eye"* Okay, Lavi, it's up to you this time. The rest have failed, so I'm counting on you. Do whatever you can to get in.

Lavi: *salutes* I'm on it! *walks up to Sokalo* Hey, Sokalo-

Sokalo: *glares at Lavi and growls*

Lavi: *YELP* NEVERMIND! *runs back to me*

NoName-chan: Well?

Lavi: *shakes his head* No luck. He's too scary! T.T

Ben-kun: *sighs* So what can we do now?

Tyki: Hm... Well maybe we can pay someone else to get Allen, or maybe we can-

NoName-chan: *tick mark* Okay, that's it! Since none of you can seem to do ANYTHING to get past Sokalo, I guess I'll have to do this myself! *takes off jacket and hands it to Ben* Now, step aside! I'll show you how it's done! *walks up to Sokalo*

Sokalo: *GROOOWWWLL-*

NoName-chan: *slams Sokalo into a wall* LISTEN! I'M GONNA TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN: YOU'RE GOING TO LET ME INTO THIS FINE ESTABLISHMENT. YOU ARE GOING TO LET ME FIND ALLEN, AND YOU ARE GOING TO LET US LEAVE PEACEFULLY. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO COMPLAIN BECAUSE IF YOU DO, I HAVE A FINE COLLECTION OF SHOVELS WITH YOUR NAME ON THEM THAT I'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO PUT TO USE! SO IS THERE GOING TO BE A PROBLEM HERE, CUPCAKE?!

Sokalo: *pales and shakes his head quickly*

NoName-chan: *releases him* Good. *walks inside*

Allen and Mokatty: *dancing together and having fun*

NoName-chan: *walks up to Allen and taps his shoulder* Oi, Allen, I just threatened General Sokalo's life, so we probably have about 1 minute to get out of here. We need to go.

Allen: 'Kay! *looks at Mokatty* This was fun! We should hang out again sometime! ^^

Mokatty: Totally! ^^ Bye~!

Allen: Bye~! ^^

NoName-chan and Allen: *exit the building and walk up to the others*

NoName-chan: 'Kay, let's go! *starts walking back to the NoName-chan Fanfiction Co. Building*

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki, Road: *follow*

_*10 minutes later*_

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki, Road: *walk back onto the stage and sit on our respective couches*

NoName-chan: Alright, let's just pick up where we left off~! Allen, spin the Wheel of Torture~!

Allen: *sighs and spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds the paper* Alright, Allen! Your torture reads:

_"Let NoName-chan ride you like a horse. If you're a good boy, she can feed you pretzels."_

Allen: *gapes*

Lavi: ...Piña wrote that, didn't she?...

Pineapplebombgirl: Yup~! ^^

NoName-chan: *grins* Well, Allen?

Allen: *sighs and gets on his hands and knees*

NoName-chan: *sits on his back side saddle-style* YAH! YAH! GIDDYUP! BITCH, JUST GO!

Allen: *starts crawling around*

Kanda and Lavi: *snorting with laughter*

Road: *recording all of this*

Allen: *struggling* WHY... ARE YOU... SO HEAVY?!

NoName-chan: BITCH, YOU'RE TEN POUNDS HEAVIER THAN ME! SUCK IT UP!

Allen: *groans and collapses*

NoName-chan: *gets off of him* That was lame! NO PRETZELS FOR YOU! *sits back down* Okay, next to spin the wheel... Lenalee~!

Lenalee: *smiles and spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds paper* Alright, Lena, your Torture reads:

_"Convince Komui that you were raped and sit with him all night for his recuperation"_

Lenalee: *gapes*

Lavi: Who wrote THAT? O.o

Yuno-chan: Yo~

NoName-chan: Well, Lenalee, Komui's already tied up, so have at it!

Lenalee: *sighs and walks up to Komui* Nii-san, I was raped.

Komui: *Shrieks from behind the duck tape and starts thrashing around *

NoName-chan: Well, Lenalee, prepare to release the beast after the show...

Lenalee: *gulps*

NoName-chan: Anyways, next let's have... Kanda~!

Kanda: *sighs and spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds the paper* Okay, it reads:

_"Spend 10 minutes alone with Bunny-Boy."_

Kanda: WHAT?! NO WAY IN HEL-

NoName-chan: Off you go~! *quickly takes Mugen and locks Kanda and Lavi in the nearest closet*

Allen, Lenalee, Tyki: O.O;;;

Ben-kun: Who wrote that, anyways? 0.0;;;

NoName-chan: myangelicladyofdarkness. Anyways, while Kanda and Lavi do whatever they do, let's have... Road spin the wheel~!

Road: *grins and spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *Unfolds the paper* Okay, Road! Your Torture reads:

"Restrain from glomping Allen for 10 minutes while he's shirtless and looking all sexy~ XD"

Road: *gapes* THE HORROR!

Ben-kun: Who wrote THIS one?0.0

Yuno-chan: Over here again~

NoName-chan: *grins* Sorry 'bout this! *rips off Allen's shirt and puts him in the perfect lighting*

Allen: *Looks like a sexy angel despite the Beansprout tattoos al l over his body*

99.9% of the Allen fangirl population: *DROOL*

Road: *twitching uncontrollably in her seat*

NoName-chan: *grins and starts taking photos of Allen*

_*10 minutes later*_

NoName-chan: Aaaaand... Time's up!

Road: *squeals and flying glomps Allen*

Allen: OOF! *gets tackled to the floor*

Ben-kun: Wait... If Road's Torture just ended, doesn't that mean that it's been over 10 minutes since you locked Kanda and Lavi in the closet?... O.o

NoName-chan: *pales* Oh shit... *runs to the closet and unlocks it*

Lavi: *bolts out and hides behind Lenalee* HELP! HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!

Kanda: *runs out* BAKA USA-

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* BITCH, NO MURDERING LAVI! HE STILL HAS TO DO HIS TORTURE!

Allen: Is that really your only concern here?... e.e

NoName-chan: SO GO SIT DOWN!

Kanda: *mutters under his breath and sits down in his spot*

NoName-chan: Alright~! Now, let's have... Lavi~!

Lavi: *spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds the paper* Okay, it reads:

_"Wear a pink bunny suit and let me hug you~! ^.^ "_

Lavi: *looks at Piña*

Pineapplebombgirl: You know me so well~! ^^ *walks onto the stage* Here! *hands Lavi a pink bunny suit*

Lavi: *sighs and puts it on over his clothes*

Pineapplebombgirl: *squeals and glomps Lavi*

NoName-chan: *snaps a picture* How cute~! ^^ Anyways, NEXT~! Tyki, you're last!

Tyki: *spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *unfolds the paper* 'Kay, it reads:

_"Deal with hyper NoName-chan."_

Tyki: *pales* oh god...

Ben-kun: *grins and gives me a Diet Coke*

NoName-chan: *grins and chugs it. Goes all psycho*

Ben-kun: *throws me into the NoName-chan Cage Room and looks at Tyki* Ready?

Tyki: *siiigh* I suppose... *walks into the NoName-chan Cage Room and closes the door behind him*

NoName-chan: *bouncing off the walls* OH LORD AND HEAVEN AND THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER OF EQUESTRIA, I FOUND A PENNY AND SHOVEL! MUAHAHAHAHAHA~!

Tyki: Wha? 0.0

NoName-chan: *grabs Tyki by the shoulder and starts shaking him* MY WIFE LEFT ME, MAN! SHE LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER CAPTAIN CRUNCH BOX!

Tyki: I-I don't understand... 0.0

NoName-chan: SHE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF THE TACOS, WITH LONG SILKY LETTUCE AND BEAUTIFUL RED TOMATOES...

Tyki: Huh? 0.0

NoName-chan: I MISS HER, MAN!

Tyki: *siiiiigh*

NoName-chan: CURSE TO UNICORNS, AND MAY BEN-KUN MARRY A CLIPBOARD!

_*5 minutes of this later*_

Tyki: *slams his head repeatedly on the wall* How much longer can this last?... T.T

NoName-chan: *dancing around in a hula skirt. Singing*

_"SHALALALALALALALA MY OH MY_

_LOOK LIKE THE BOY TOO SHY_

_AIN'T GONNA_

_KISS THE SQUIRREL!"_

*Holds a live squirrel in Tyki's face*

Squirrel: *spazzes out and scratches Tyki's eye*

Tyki: *clutches his eye in agony* OW!

NoName-chan: _"SHALALALALALALALA AIN'T THAT SAD_

_AIN'T IT A SHAME? TOO BAD_

_HE GONNA_

_MISS THE SQUIRREL..."_

*lets go of the squirrel, allowing it to run off*

Tyki: ARGH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! GET OVER HERE, YOU PSYCHO BITCH! *lunges at me*

NoName-chan: *SHRIEK* STRANGER DANGER! *throws a bag of Doritos at Tyki's face and runs*

Tyki: *Pulls the bag off his face and continues chasing me*

_*2 minutes of chasing later*_

Tyki: AHA! GOT YA! *tackles me*

NoName-chan: *SHRIEK. Attempts to get away, but can't*

Tyki: *wipes sweat from his forehead in relief and continues pinning me to the floor* Well, at least now she can't hurt me or anything-

NoName-chan: *Comes out of Sugar High. Blink blink. Sees Tyki's position on top of me. SHRIEK* RAPE!

Ben-kun: *bursts into the room* I HEARD A NOISE! *sees Tyki pinning screaming me down* ... *hauntingly calm tone* Tyki... Mikk...

Tyki: *YELP* B-BEN-KUN….. THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, I SWEAR!

Ben-kun:*starts beating Tyki with my shovel* DIE, YOU PERVERTED BASTARD!

Tyki: *SCREAM. Gets off of me and runs for his life*

NoName-chan: *sits up and rubs head* What happened...?

Ben-kun: *Continues swinging at Tyki* DIIIIEEEEEE!

Tyki: *Cries for help and keeps running*

NoName-chan: *Taps chin with finger thoughtfully* Hm…

Ben-kun: AHA! *Tackles Tyki and pins him. Raises the shovel in preparation for a fatal blow with a psychopathic grin*

Tyki: *SHRIEK*

NoName-chan: *memory clicks* OH YEAH~! I remember now! Ben-kun, it's okay! He wasn't trying to rape me!

Ben-kun: *immediately calms down* Oh, okay! ^^ *gets off Tyki and gives me back my shovel*

Tyki: *Loud sigh of relief*

NoName-chan: Now, c'mon! We've got a show to run!

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Tyki: *walk back to the stage and sit down on our respective couches*

Allen: *Looks at Tyki's terrified state* So I take it things went well?

NoName-chan: *grins* You bet your ass they did~!

Tyki: *Rocking back and forth in the corner* SQUIRRELS…. SQUIRRELS EVERYWHERE….

Allen: …..

NoName-chan: Alright, time for... AUTHORESS CHOICE~!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *pale* Oh god...

Ben-kun and Road: *grins* Watcha got?

NoName-chan: *grins* Today, I have a three part thing for all of you~! Today's Authoress Choice was thought up by the Usagi-Twins, and it goes like this:

Today, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Tyki will have to dress up in maid dresses designed by the Usagi-Twins. After that, all 6 of our contestants will have to participate in a Food Fight with Cheesecake also made by the Twins. And, finally, the Twins, me, Ben-kun, and our contestants are going to do the "Jingle Bell Rock" performance from Mean Girls! ^^

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *gape in horror*

Ben-kun, Lenalee, Road: *grin*

Tyki: *jumps in joy* I GET A NEW DRESS?! :'D

NoName-chan: Yup~! ^^ Speaking of which, Usagi-Twins, are the dresses and Cheesecake ready?

Usagi-Twins: *grin* Yup~! *Walk onto the stage pushing several large trolleys full of cheesecake*

Allen: *Mouth waters at the sight*

NoName-chan: *sees that look in Allen's eye* BITCH, NO! *hits him over the head with the shovel*

Allen: OWCHIE! T_T

NoName-chan: *grins at the Twins* So, where are the dresses?

Usagi-TwinsL *grin* Right here~! *hold up 4 maid dresses*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *pale at the sight of them*

Tyki: *squeals happily*

Lenalee and Road: *Start laughing*

NoName-chan: Alright, guys, go change! *Shoves Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Tyki into a random closet*

Usagi-Twins: *throw the dresses in after them and slams the door shut*

NoName-chan: *yelling through the door* You guys have 45 seconds to get dressed or I'm coming in there and dressing you myself!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *YELP*

Tyki: Why is that a big deal? I'm already dressed~

Ben-kun: Why does that not surprise me?

NoName-chan: 30 SECONDS!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *yelp again*

_*30 seconds later*_

NoName-chan: *Slams closet door open* YA DONE YET?!

Allen: Sadly….. T_T

NoName-chan: *looks at the 4 idiots and snorts with laughter* Okay, get out here right now!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *Walk back onto the stage wearing maid dresses of different colors- Allen baby blue, Lavi pink, Kanda midnight blue, and Tyki dark purple-, the skirts barely covering their junk, a ribbon around the waist tied in a big bow in the back, the string of the bow reaching the back of their knees, a white apron, striped stockings alternating the color of the dresses and white, and Mary Janes the color of the dresses*

99.9% of the Fangirl population: *NOSEBLEED*

Kanda: *desperately trying to pull the skirt of his dress down* Why the hell are these dresses so damn short?!

Usagi-Twins: BECAUSE WE DO WHAT WE WANT, MOTHERFUCKER!

Allen: *blushes* This is…

Lavi: *walking around in circles, trying to see how his ass looks in the dress* …..Interesting…

Tyki: Bitches, what're you talking about? *jumps in joy, flashing several people* THIS IS AWESOME~!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *got flashed* OH GOD MY VIRGIN EYES MAKE IT STOP!

NoName-chan: *hits Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Tyki over the heads with my shovel* STFU~! Now, *sits back down next to Ben on the red couch* First things first, it's time for the Cheesecake fight~! Here are the rules: You guys basically are trying to take each other out by throwing Cheesecake! If someone gets knocked unconscious, they're out~! The fight will either end when only one person is left conscious, in which they're the winner, or when you run out of Cheesecake, in which the person with the least amount of Cheesecake on their face wins~! Now, get in position~!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *Walk to different places amongst the stage*

NoName-chan: Alright, guys~! Usagi-Twins, care to do the countdown?

Usagi-Twins: *grin* Sure~! 5…. 4…. 3…. 2…. 1! GO!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *grab for cheesecake*

Kanda: *Stops moving to pull his skirt down again* GODDAMN THESE SHORT SKIR- *gets hit in the face with Cheesecake by Allen, the force of the impact throwing him to the ground*

Kanda Fangirls: *squeal and nosebleed upon getting flashed when Kanda falls*

Allen: *laughing evilly at the sight of Kanda getting knocked to the ground by his throw* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *Gets hit in the face and knocked to the ground with Cheesecake by Lavi*

Allen Fangirls: *squeal and nosebleed upon this flashing*

Lavi: *laughing at Allen and Kanda* HAHAHAHAHA- *feels hot breath on his ear*

Tyki: *Whispering in Lavi's ear* Hey, Bunny-boy~! You look sexy in that dress…. What do say we go back to the closet and-

Lavi: *SHRIEK* PEDOPHILE! *runs for his virginit- oh wait, he isn't a virgin….. Wait, hasn't Tyki raped him before? And weren't they a temporary couple during Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.5? Okay, I'm starting to have a hard time following Lavi's logic here….. Whatever! Point is, he's running from Tyki*

Tyki: *Chases after Lavi* NOOOOO! COME BACK, BUNNY-BOY!

Lavi: NEVAAAARRRRR! *keeps running*

Tyki: *Keeps chasing*

_*2 minutes of running in circles later*_

Lavi: *sobs* LEAVE ME ALONE, PEDO!

Tyki: NO! YOU'RE MINE, BUNNY-BOY-*accidentally steps on Kanda's face, slipping on the slightly melty cheesecake there, and falls on his ass* AH!

Fangirls: *Scream in horror upon this flashing*

Lavi: *laughs victoriously* HAHAHAHA- *trips over Allen*

Lavi Fangirls: *squeal and nosebleed upon this flashing*

Lenalee: *laughs at Tyki and Lavi*

Road: *throws Cheesecake at Lenalee*

Lenalee: *dodges like a pro, then slips in squished Cheesecake and falls on her face*

Tyki: *pulls himself to his feet. Sees that it's down to him and Road*

Road and Tyki: *Eyes narrow. Grab Cheesecake*

_*Slow motion close up of Road and Tyki throwing the Cheesecake in their hands, the Cheescake flying through the air, and only Road getting hit*_

Tyki: *laughs victoriously* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! I DID IT! I BEAT ROAD! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW! NOTHI-

Road: *flying kicks Tyki in the stomach* AKAKAKAKOW MUTHAFUCKAH~!

Tyki: OW! *doubles over in pain and collapses*

Road: *grins* NEVER doubt my ability to withstand a slice of Cheesecake to the face!

NoName-chan: *claps and grins* BRAVO~! BRAVO~! Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of today's Cheesecake fight is- *Gets hit in the face with 4 slices of Cheesecake*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *tick marks* WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP AND MAKE SURE WE'RE ACTUALLY UNCONSCIOUS BEFORE ANNOUNCING THE WINNER?!

NoName-chan: *silence*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *become uneasy* N-NoName-chan…..?

NoName-chan: *dark aura*

Ben-kun: *sees that look in my eye and gulps* Uh oh….. 0.0

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *look at Ben in panic* WHAT DO YOU MEAN "UH OH"?! O.O

NoName-chan: *sickly sweet smile*Oh HEEEELLLLLL no! You did NOT just throw Cheesecake at me! *holds up shovel*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *SQUEAK*

NoName-chan: DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS! *Starts beating Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Tyki with my shovel*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *SCREAM*

Usagi-Twins, Ben-kun, Lenalee, Road: *watching the beating while eating the remaining Cheesecake*

Lenalee: So…. Are they going to be okay?

Road: *shrugs* Eh, I'm sure they'll be fine…

_*5 minutes of beating and Cheesecake eating (Hey, I made a rhyme! :D) later*_

NoName-chan: *stops beating the guys and smirks* I think you've learned your lesson.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *moan in pain and shakily pull themselves to their feet*

Tyki: *looks down and gasps at the sight of his Cheesecake-covered maid dress* MY DRESSSSS! T_T

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE?! o.e

Tyki: BECAUSE IT'S MY DRESS, YOU INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLES! T_T

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *Siiiiiigh* -.-;;;

Tyki: *sobs some more*

NoName-chan: *ignores him and looks around* Wow, this place is mess….. SOMEONE CALL THE JANITORRRRR!

Ben-kun: I'm on it! *Starts yelling* JANITOOOORR-

NoName-chan: *hits Ben over the head with the shovel* BITCH, I MEANT HIT THE JANITOR SUMMONING BUTTON!

Ben-kun: Oh ^^ *walks towards the Janitor Summoning Button*

Allen: *shivers slightly* Janitor Summoning Button? That makes it sound as if we're summoning a demon to do our bidding…..

NoName-chan: That's because we are.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: Wait, WHAT?!

NoName-chan: We're summoning a demon. Well, kind of. We're just summoning our Janitor, who happens to be one of the evilest people in the entire world. I mean, look how Ben-kun has to summon her

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *look over at Ben*

Ben-kun: *lights some skull shaped candles, carves a pentacle in the palm of his hand with a rusty dagger, and pushes the button with his blood-covered palm*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: o.e WTF?!

NoName-chan: I told you our janitor was evil. I mean, she requires a blood sacrifice in order to clean up Cheesecake. Anyways, she'll be here any second, so be sure to bow or she might eat your soul.

_*lights flicker off and the door opens creakily. Everybody turns to look at the door, seeing the dark silhouette of a demon.*_

Demon: *Deep raspy voice* You summoned me?

NoName-chan: Yeah, these assholes made a mess. Clean it up!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *Shaking in fear* Does she have to? 0.0

Demon: *booming footsteps as she walks in*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *SCREAM* WE'RE GONNA DIE!

Demon: I- *COUGHCOUGHCOUGH. Normal voice* Damn sinus infection! *Steps into the light*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: …Jen-chan?

Jen-chan: Yeah?

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *look at me* SHE'S THE EVIL JANITOR?

NoName-chan: Duh. She's the evilest person I know. Anyways, Jen-chan! Clean up the Cheesecake!

Jen-chan: Might as well…. *Snaps fingers*

_*Dark shadowy thing appears and sucks up all the Cheesecake remains before disappearing*_

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: 0.0

Jen-chan: Bye *Leaves*

NoName-chan: Okay, moving on~! ^^ Now, *Grins* let's dance~

Kanda: *takes out Mugen* BRING IT ON-

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* BITCH, PUT THAT OVERSIZED TOOTHPICK AWAY! I literally meant DANCE. Ya know? It's time for us to do the Jingle Bell Rock Dance from Mean Girls!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *pale* Oh god…..

Tyki: YAYZ~! I love that movie! ^^

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *stare at Tyki* How are you a male…..?

NoName-chan: *Hits Allen, Kanda, and Lavi over the heads with the shovel* Doesn't matter~ TIME TO DANCE! *snaps fingers*

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Usagi-Twins, Lenalee, Road: *Suddenly wearing the slutty Santa Claus dresses from Mean Girls*

Ben-kun: *looks down. SHRIEK*

NoName-chan: C'mon, let's dance!

Kanda: Che. No way in hell.

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with the shovel* BITCH, DANCE!

Kanda: ASDFGHJKLWEIFJNEWFACIJSCIRJSEH?/!

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Usagi-Twins, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki : *Get in a line and hit sexy poses, me being the sexiest of all because I'm just fabulous like that~ XD*

_*Music Plays*_

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Usagi-Twins, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *Start doing the dance and singing*

_"Jingle-bell, jingle-bell, jingle-bell rock,_

_Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring._

_Snowin' an blowin' up bushels of fun,_

_Now the jingle hop has begun._

_Jingle-bell, jingle-bell, jingle-bell rock,_

_Jingle bells chime in jingle-bell time._

_Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square_

_In the frosty air"_

Allen: *runs into Kanda, sending them both falling*

Kanda: *hits the Boom Box that we weren't even using but is there anyways, sending it flying*

Boom Box: *flies 15ft in the air before falling back down more harshly than Lenalee would in her Dark Boots*

Ben-kun: *gets hit in the head with the falling Boom Box and crumples to the ground, unconscious*

Allen: *gapes in horror at Ben before glaring at Kanda* GODDAMN IT, BAKANDA! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

Kanda: WHAT I DID?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CRASHED INTO ME LIKE THE UNGRACEFUL SWINE YOU ARE!

NoName-chan: *knocks them both out with the shovel* BITCH, WE AIN'T DONE! Alright, play the music~! ^^

_*Music resumes*_

NoName-chan, Usagi-Twins, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *resume dancing and singing*

"_What a bright time, it's the right time_

_To rock the night away._

_Jingle-bell time is a swell time_

_To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh._

_Giddy-yap jingle horse; pick up your feet;_

_Jingle around the clock._

_Mix and mingle in a jinglin' beat;_

_That's the jingle-bell rock~!"_

_*Music Stops*_

NoName-chan, Usagi-Twins, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *smiles and bow*

Audience: *Applaud*

Usagi-Twins: Well, that was fun! Bye! *go back to their seats in the Audience*

NoName-chan, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *Return to our respective couches*

Lavi: *looks at unconscious Ben, Allen, and Kanda* So…. What do we do about them?

NoName-chan: Oh, that's easy! ^^ *Grins and blasts and airhorn in Ben, Allen, and Kanda's ears*

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda: *Snap awake and jump 5ft in the air* AH!

NoName-chan: Nice of you all to join us~! ^^ NOW, GO SIT DOWN BEFORE I KNOCK YOU OUT AGAIN!

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda: *YELP. Scramble to their respective couches*

NoName-chan: Wonderful~! ^^

Lavi: So…. Now that the Authoress' Choice Round is over, is this the end of today's Episode-Chapter-Thingy?

NoName-chan: *Grins* Nope~! ^^

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *pale* WHAT?!

NoName-chan: Remember what I said after Ben-kun and I did the CaramellDansen during Episode-Chapter-Thingy? From now on, people can send suggestions relating to us, too! So, as of today, I present to you….. THE FANMAIL ROUND~!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *sigh in relief* Oh thank god, it doesn't relate to us…..

NoName-chan: Don't be so sure about that~! Now *Jar filled with slips of paper appears in my hands* Let's begin~! ^^ Okay, because I'm fabulous and sexy and Ben-kun is a guy in a dress, we'll start with me~! *Pulls a slip of paper form the jar* Today's first Fanmail reads:

_"NoName-chan,_

_Yay! You, Road, Lenalee, and I agree on pairings!_

_~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Lavi: Whaaa? O.o

NoName-chan: She's referring to the pairings we discussed during Episode-Chapter-Thingy 2. If you don't remember what they are, go watch-read it again~ MOVING ON~! *pulls another slip out of the jar* This one reads:

_"NoName-chan,_

_Can you ask Allen if I can have the shirt she was wearing during Chapter 3 of "Carnival"?_

_~myangelicladyofdarkness"_

Kanda: *SNORT* DID SHE JUST CALL ALLEN A "SHE"? BAHAHAHAHA-

NoName-chan: Allen's a girl.

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, Tyki: *Freeze* …W-WHAT?!

Kanda: *Looks at Allen* HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL US THIS?!

Allen: *facepalm* Kanda, you've fucked me multiple times on this show. You KNOW I'm a guy! What you SHOULD be asking is what the hell NoName-chan is talking about!

NoName-chan: Oh, that's easy. Allen's a girl in my other fanfiction, "Carnival."

Allen: O.O WHY WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS?!

NoName-chan: Because SHUT UP~! Anyways, the shirt myangelicladyofdarkness is talking about was worn by Fem!Allen during Chapter 3 of Carnival. Which, of course, mean that we're gonna need to ask her. FEM!ALLEN!

Fem!Allen: *walks in* What the hell do you want?

Allen: OHHOLYSHITWHATTHEFUCKERMEHGERDHOWISTHATEVENPOSSIBL EOHMYGOD

Fem!Allen: *Glares at Allen* Shut up, Male Me. Anyways, what do you want, NoName-chan?

NoName-chan: myangelicladyofdarkness wants to know if she can have the T-Shirt you were wearing for Chapter 3 of Carnival.

Fem!Allen: What? This one? *holds up a large black T-shirt with a creepy picture of Alice from Alice in Wonderland grinning with a knife in her hand surrounded by white roses with splotches of red dripping from them with the words "Let's paint the roses red with blood" in red under it*

NoName-chan: Yeah, that one. Can she have it?

Fem!Allen: Yeah, sure. Here ya go! *throws the shirt to myangelicladyofdarkness*

Myangelicladyofdarkness: *Catches it and grins* Sweet!

Fem!Allen: Now, if that's all, I'm leaving. Bye, fuckers! *Walks out like a badass*

Lavi: *Shivers* Why am in love with her in Carnival…..?

Road: BECAUSE SHE'S AWESOME!

Allen: *still trying to figure out how this is possible*

NoName-chan: Moving on~! *pulls another slip of paper from the jar* This one reads:

_"NONAME-CHAN!_

_HOW THE HELL COULD YOU SING PONPONPON WITHOUT ME?! THAT'S IT! WE'RE SINGING IT AGAIN!_

_~Yuno-chan"_

Kanda: Wha-

NoName-chan: When you guys had amnesia and we went to Applebee's during Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.5, Ben-kun and I sang karaoke to the song "PONPONPON." Well, you see, Yuno-chan is the one who introduced me to that song. Her and I always sing it together in Geometry class at school. So she's pissed that I sang it without her. In other words, this means that if I don't sing it with her now, she's going to break into my house through my window tonight and murder me in the slowest, most painful way she can think of.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: O_O

NoName-chan: *siiigh* Yuno-chan, get up here! Let's just get this over with!

Yuno-chan: *Skips onto the stage with a huge grin and glomps me* Aishiteru Haha!

NoName-chan: *rolls eyes* Whatever *snaps fingers*

NoName-chan and Yuno-chan: *suddenly dressed like Kyary Pamyu Pamyu in the PONPONPON music video*

Ben-kun: *suddenly dressed like the dancing fat lady in the background* 0.0 AGAIN?!

NoName-chan: YES! Now, HIT THE MUSIC~!

_*Music Begins*_

Ben-kun: *Starts doing his fat lady dancing*

NoName-chan, Yuno-chan: *Start singing*

_"Ano kousaten de minna ga moshi SUKIPPU wo shite _

_moshi ano machi no mannaka de te wo tsunaide _

_sora wo miagetara moshi mo ano _

_machi no dokoka de CHANSU ga tsuka mitai no nara _

_mada naku no niwa hayai yo ne tada mae ni _

_susumu shikanai wa iya iya"_

*start doing the dance*

_"PON PON dashite shimaeba ii no _

_zenzen shinai no tsumaranai desho _

_HEADPHONE kakete RIZUMU ni nosete _

_WEI WEI akete atashi no michi wo_

_PON PON susumu iroiro na koto _

_dondon kiiteru anata no kimochi _

_poipoi suteru warui ko wa dare _

_sou sou ii ko ARE YOU MAKE ME HAPPY _

_EVERY DAY PON _

_EVERY TIME IS PON _

_MERRY-GO-ROUND noritai no _

_EVERY DAY PON _

_EVERY TIME IS PON _

_tabun sonna ja dame desho _

_PON PON dashite shimaeba ii no _

_zenzen shinai no tsumaranai desho _

_HEADPHONE kakete RIZUMU ni nosete _

_WEI WEI akete atashi no michi wo_

_PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI_

_PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI _

_ano kousaten de minna ga moshi SUKIPPU wo shite _

_moshi ano machi no mannaka de te wo tsunaide _

_sora wo miagetara moshi mo ano _

_machi no dokoka de CHANSU ga tsuka mitai no nara _

_mada naku no niwa hayai yo ne tada mae ni _

_susumu shikanai wa iya iya _

_PON PON susumu iroiro na koto _

_dondon kiiteru anata no kimochi _

_poipoi suteru warui ko wa dare _

_sou sou ii ko ARE YOU MAKE ME HAPPY _

_EVERY DAY PON _

_EVERY TIME IS PON _

_MERRY-GO-ROUND noritai no _

_EVERY DAY PON _

_EVERY TIME IS PON _

_tabun sonna ja dame desho _

_PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI_

_PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI_

_PON PON WEI WEI WEI _

_PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON PON PON _

_WEI WEI PON WEI PON WEI WEI"_

_*music ends*_

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki, Audience: *smile and applaud*

NoName-chan, Yuno-chan, Ben-kun: *grin and bow*

NoName-chan: Alright *snaps fingers*

NoName-chan, Yuno-chan, Ben-kun: *dressed normally again*

NoName-chan: Moving on~! YUNO! GO SIT DOWN!

Yuno-chan: NO! :P

NoName-chan: Suit yourself~ *pushes Yuno off the stage*

Yuno-chan: ASDFGHJKLASKFNAVEITVNCODDDXLYFM4?/! BITCH DIE!

NoName-chan: MOVING ON~! *pulls another slip from the jar* This is the last one for me today! It reads:

_"Hey, NoName-chan!_

_So during the Tyki fashion show of Episode-Chapter-Thingy 2, I found out that Lenalee liked the rain boots and miniskirt I designed. So, I figured I'd give her them! ^^_

_~Pineapplebombgirl"_

Lenalee: *SQUEAL*

Pineapplebombgirl: *Walks onto the stage and gives Lenalee the miniskirt and pair of rainboots* Here you go~! ^^

Lenalee: *glomps Piña* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU~!

Pineapplebombgirl: Heehee no problem~! ^^ *Goes back to her seat in the audience*

Lenalee: *sits back down on the blue couch, hugging her newly owned boots and skirt*

NoName-chan: *smiles* Nothing makes me happier than to see fangirls getting along with contestants and each other~! Anyways, time for Ben-kun's Fanmail~! *Pulls slip out of the jar*This one reads:

_"DIE, BEN-KUN, DIE!_

_Tee hee, just kidding! It's just that NoName-chan said not to say that, so I couldn't help myself! ^^_

_~Pineapplebombgirl"_

Ben-kun: Tee hee, it's okay, Piña! NoName-chan tells me not to be a dumbass all the time, but that doesn't stop me! ^^

NoName-chan: No shit, really? -.- Anyways, that concludes today's Fanmail Round~! ^^

Ben-kun: Wait, what? But I only had one Fanmail… o.o

NoName-chan: And?

Ben-kun: You had four... O.o

NoName-chan: Do you actually have a point here, or can I just tune you out?

Ben-kun: How come you have so much more Fanmail than me? O.O

NoName-chan: Because I'm fucking awesome, that's why!

Ben-kun: *tick mark* But that's not fair! I'm just as cool as you!

NoName-chan: *eyes narrow* Bitch ass nigga, you challenging me?

Ben-kun: *triumphant smirk* YEAH! I AM!

NoName-chan: *grins* Alright. Just know that you brought this on yourself.

Allen: Wait, what's happening here? O.O

Road: *grins and starts eating popcorn* I think our Hosts are about to fight~

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: WHAT?! O.O

NoName-chan: Alright, Ben-kun. What's your choice of weapon?

Ben-kun: *grins. Suddenly dressed like Sebastion from Kuroshitsuji* My powers as a demon butler.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *Heads snap towards Road* SINCE WHEN IS HE A DEMON BUTLER?! O.O

Road: Since always. *pops another piece of popcorn in her mouth*

Ben-kun: *smirks* And you?

NoName-chan: *Grins. Suddenly dressed like Road. Skin turns gray. Eyes turn golden. The row of cross-shaped scars appears on my forehead. Floating pointy candles surround me.* My powers as the Noah of Sadism.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: SINCE WHEN IS SHE A NOAH?! O.O

Road: JUST WATCH THE GODDAMN FIGHT!

Ben-kun: *smirks awesomely* BRING IT ON.

NoName-chan: *psycho grin. Pointed ends of the candles snap towards Ben*

Lenalee: OH MY FUCKING GOD COMMERCIAL BREAK! O.O

Random Camera Guy: I'm on it, pretty lady~!

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN*_

"NEW MAID DRESSES~!" *Tyki orders*

"POINTY CANDLES~!" *NoName-chan and Road order*

"POINTY CANDLE WOUND HEALER~!" *Ben-kun orders*

"EVEN MORE SHOVELS~!" *NoName-chan orders*

_*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END*_

_*We return to our set once again. Ben is curled up on the red couch, shaking in trauma and covered in bandages, the outcome of the fight obvious. All of our contestants are sitting on the blue couch, Road finishing her popcorn, and the rest staring wide eyed at Ben and me. I'm sitting nonchalantly next to Ben, staring at my phone with a perplexed expression on my face.*_

Road: *Finally finishes her popcorn and throws the empty popcorn bag behind her, somehow managing to hit Tyki in the face with it even though he's sitting next to her. Grins* Welcome back~! While we were on Commercial Break, NoName-chan and Ben-kun fought it out for 30 seconds before Ben-kun gave up and begged for mercy. In compensation for his actions against her, Ben-kun has agreed to be NoName-chan's loyal servant for the rest of his life.

Allen: Isn't he pretty much her servant, anyway?...

Road: ANYWAYS, now, I turn you over to NoName-chan~! *dramatically gestures to me*

NoName-chan: *continues staring perplexedly at my phone in silence*

Road: ….NoName-chan?

NoName-chan: *murmurs softly* I just don't get it…

Kanda: *Realizes that I'm reading a Fanfiction* OH GOD…

Allen: What don't you get, NoName-chan- OW!

Kanda: *just bitch slapped Allen* BAKA MOYASHI! SHE'S READING FANFICTION!

Allen, Lavi, Tyki: *Pale* Oh god….. 0.0

Lenalee and Road: *Grin* What don't you get, NoName-chan?

NoName-chan: I don't get how people read Lucky Smut so easily! I mean-

Allen and Kanda: OH GOD MY VIRGIN EARS MAKE IT STOP!

Lavi and Tyki: … Continue.

Allen and Kanda: *give Lavi and Tyki a "WTF?!" stare*

NoName-chan: Like, I'm always expecting something horrible to happen! Like,

_"Tyki stared down at Lavi. The golden eyed man couldn't help but smirk at how adorable his little bunny looked blushing like that. It was pure beauty._

_"You like me now, Bunny-Boy?" he purred in Lavi's ear, though the answer to his question was obvious._

_"O-Oh, Tyki," the redhead panted, "that was amazing!" The blush on Lavi's face darkened to a new hue as he gulped and stuttered, "T-Tyki, I l-love yo-"_

_Tyki then sunk his teeth into Lavi's neck, ripping out his throat and ending the redhead's life. Spitting out the blood soaked flesh, Tyki smirked once more._

_"Love you, too, Bunny-Boy," was all he said before proceeding to devour Lavi's corpse."_

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *moment of silence*

Road: *Snorts with laughter*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?! O.O

NoName-chan: Lots of things.

Tyki: My question is why the hell she thinks I'd kill Lavi and eat his corpse after our first time! I mean, seriously! At least save that for the fourth time!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: O.O

Lavi: *faceplants on the coffee table* It's official: I'm never dating Tyki.

Allen and Kanda: You weren't going to do that anyway….. o.O

NoName-chan: Lavi, you worry too much! I wouldn't let Tyki ACTUALLY get cannibalistic!

Lavi: *looks up at me hopefully* R-really? T-thank yo-

NoName-chan: Cannibalism is bad for ratings!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *sigh* Of course…..

NoName-chan: Plus, Piña would be devastated! And there's nothing I hate more than to see my lovely fangirls unhappy!

Yuno-chan: YOU SHOVED ME OFF THE STA-

NoName-chan: NOTHING! Anyways, *grins at the audience* with that point made, this concludes Episode-Chapter-Thingy 3 of DGS~! Thank you all for your wonderful support! Please continue to send in Suggestions, 'cause it really helps! Also, I'm going to be running a poll (possibly two) on my profile relating to the next Episode-Chapter-Thingy! PLEEEEAAASSSSEEEEE vote! I'll probably not be running it for very long, because I want to have the next Episode-Chapter-Thingy up ASAP! Anyways, with that, we're done~! SEE YA NEXT TIME~!

Director: AAAAANNNNDDDDD… Cut!

Camera Guys #s 2-12: *turn off their cameras*

Camera Guy #1: *too busy eating a doughnut and forgets to turn off his camera*

Audience: *leaves*

NoName-chan: *not aware that the show is still rolling* Well, guys! Time to go~! BEN-KUN! STOP MOPING! I DIDN'T STAB YOU _THAT_ BADLY! WE GOTTA GO! Piña, come help me get him home!

Pineapplebombgirl: Sure thing!

NoName-chan, Pineapplebombgirl: *drag Ben out of the DGS Stage Room*

Road: *Looks at Yuno and grins* Wanna play Real Life Happy Wheels with me?

Yuno-chan: *grins* Sure~!

Yuno-chan, Road: *link arms and skip out of the stage room*

Allen: *Looks at Lucy* Well, we have a date to attend to!

Lucy Moon-Walker: *squeals in joy*

Lucy Moon-Walker and Allen: *walk out of the stage room together*

Tyki: *looks at Lavi and grins* Hey, Bunny-Boy, -

Lavi: NOPE! *sprints out of the stage room*

Tyki: HEY, WAIT FOR MEEEEEEE! *chases after Lavi*

Kanda: *looks at Lenalee* ...Wanna hang out?

Lenalee: *shrugs* Might as well.

Kanda and Lenalee: *walk out of the stage room, turning off the lights on the way out*

Kanda: …..Hey, aren't we forgetting something?

Lenalee: NOPE.

Komui: *still tied to the chair on the stage, screaming from behind his gag*

**…**

**_EXTRA: "Allen and Lucy's Date"_**

**Allen: *smoothes down his hair* Hey, Lucy, ready to go?**

**Lucy: *Walks out, looking all beautiful* Yup~! ^^**

**_*One joyous date later*_**

**Lucy and Allen: *walking on the sidewalk, laughing about something. Reach Lucy's front door***

**Allen: *blushes* This was fun! We should definitely do it again sometime! ^^**

**Lucy: *smiles and blushes* Definitely! ^^**

**Allen and Lucy: *lean in for a kiss***

**Yuno-chan: *Pops out of ****_fucking nowhere_**** between them* I THINK NOT!**

**Allen: OHJESUSCHRISTWHATTHEFUCKHOWDIDYOUGETTHEREERMEHGERD **

**Lucy: *tick mark* BACK OFF, BITCH, HE'S MINE!**

**Yuno-chan: LIKE HELL HE IS! *takes out axe***

**Lucy: *takes out monkey stick***

**NoName-chan: *jumps down from ****_fucking nowhere _****and lands between them***

**Allen: WHERE THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP COMING FROM?! O.O**

**NoName-chan: *sprays Lucy and Yuno in the faces with my Fangirl Spray Bottle* NO! NO! STOP IT! FANGIRL FIGHTS ARE BAD FOR RATINGS!**

**Lucy and Yuno-chan: YOU LITTLE- *lunge at me***

**NoName-chan: Bye~ ^^ *disappears in a puff of smoke***

**Lucy and Yuno-chan: *smack into each other* OOF-!**

**Yuno-chan: *tick mark* Look, I don't like you, and you don't like me, but….**

**Lucy: *tick mark* ….I think we can put our differences aside for a common goal: KILIING NONAME-CHAN!**

**Lucy and Yuno-chan: Agreed. *Shake hands***

**Yuno-chan: Plus, there's two of us and seven days a week. There's plenty of Allen to go around~ ;3**

**Lucy: *grins* Indeed. Shall we?**

**Yuno-chan: *grins* Yes.**

**Lucy and Yuno-chan: *hold up their weapons of choice* LET'S GO FIND NONAME-CHAN! *start to walk away before stopping and turning around one last time* BYE, ALLEN-KUN~! *each kiss one of Allen's cheeks before running away again***

**Allen: o.e**


End file.
